8 Most Overlooked Threats To A Marriage

by Sejal Parikh · October 9, 2015

You think you know them all. A failure to communicate, growing boredom, financial pressure, infidelity and the entire clan of threats to marriage.

But we bet you didn’t know that there are some lesser-known species of threats to marriage, which lurk just about the corner waiting to seep into a faint crevice and bring your marriage citadel crumbling down- with such dexterity that they won’t even make it to the list of usual suspects.

Learn about these overlooked threats to marriage here:

1. Believing marriage to be a quick-fix solution for everything

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

A glaring mistake made by most, this one is inexcusable. Entering into marriage expecting it to be a solution to your life’s problems is one of the worst mistakes you can ever make. If you have failed to make good before you are married, it is unlikely your marriage is going to offer any magical transformation for any of it. Treating marriage as a magic spell that can eliminate the issues that you were formerly faced with is a sure recipe for a marriage doomed for failure.

2. Believing you can change your family’s opinion of your spouse

Image source: Flickr

If your chosen partner and your parents can’t make nice before you marry, the chances of it happening anytime post-marriage are even slimmer. And it is a BIG mistake to assume you can help your partner get into your parents’ good books. While it is a must that both spouses stand for each other, it isn’t worth one’s while to try and change a mindset that is immutable. Both partners need to work in unison to try and neutralize the negative impact of a discord but any approach that is intent on actualizing an ‘ideal’ outcome (read: make a Rajashri productions family) is set to fail. Best approach would be basic courteous behavior from both ends.

3. Idealization

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

If you enter marriage thinking your partner is perfection personified, you are bound to be disappointed. Allow yourself to fall in love for the REAL person you are dating and you shall dodge any divorce bells that might be speeding up your alley.

4. No clear, discernible boundaries

Image source: Shutterstock

A relationship that does not have well-defined boundaries is destined to fail. While a marriage is a really intimate connection, establishing certain ground rules for any challenging circumstance that may come one’s way is the right way to go. From involvement of any outside person in personal matters to coping with issues cropping from the past, spouses must establish a firm set of boundaries.

5. Expecting marriage to be easy

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Marriage is a long-term investment that allows you withdrawal or benefits long after you have pooled in massive amounts of patience, love, affection, understanding, resilience, discipline, effort, energy and most of all unwavering commitment and loyalty. So, if you are thinking that life with your beau is going to be one easy, breezy ride, strap on your safety belts- coz SURPRISE!

6. Differences

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Many people still hold on to the ‘opposites attract’ tenet too tight. While it is nice to not have a ‘twin’ for a partner, it is mistake to place a high premium on the opposite-funda. Most marriage counselors will vouch for marrying a partner who is a lot like you- coz shared values and beliefs make marriage a shared experience!

7. Ignoring your partner’s needs and desires

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

If what your partner said he’d need or want from marriage didn’t quite go down well with you but you went ahead with the nuptials anyway, it is going to drive a wedge between you sooner or later. Be careful you find a way to strike a balance between getting your needs catered and fulfilling his’- or else the one-way traffic is going to come to a screeching halt!

8. Expecting marriage to change the person you married

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

This is an error that most are guilty of- and I’d like to elevate it to the status of a ‘crime.’ Yep, the repercussions are that huge. You cannot change a person- never! While change is inevitable, thinking you can affect change in a person is a fatal mistake for marriage, or any relationship. Do not even try!

Do you think there might be a lethal cousin of these threats to marriage who we missed? Tell us in the comments below.

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Summary