Date rape is one of the most misinterpreted and ignored issues of the recent times, which is often accompanied by myths and wrong definitions. It is a form of acquaintance rape in which there is some or other kind of relationship between the victim and the perpetrator.
Acquaintance rape can be of different types, but date rape is undoubtedly the most prominent of them all, which makes it such a crucial issue. As the name suggests, it refers to a kind of sexual assault in which both the victim and the perpetrator has been acquainted with each other. They could either be neighbors, colleagues, or even relatives. Date rape, on the other hand, is a distinctive sub-category of acquaintance rape in which there has been a romantic relationship between the victim and the perpetrator.
Nevertheless, in every case, it is seen that the perpetrator is a known acquainted of the victim, which makes it even worse. Getting sexually assaulted by a friend, a cousin, or even a partner is without a doubt, the most unimaginable punishment that no one can ever go through.
Sadly, the statistics that are related to date rape are nothing but astonishing. It is mostly observed either in a known place, home, or even on college campuses. The victim is often provided a high dose of alcohol or other date rape drugs, which leads to the sexual assault. It is a crucial global issue and almost every country is trying to tackle it in its own way. There are countries like Vietnam in which acquainted rape is largely unreported, whereas, in a country like India, it has been observed that 98% of the rapes are being conducted by someone who is known to the victim.
Suggested read: Why is marital rape an oxymoron in India?
The difference is certainly staggering, which is an obvious indication on how oblivion people are regarding this issue. There are countries like South Korea, which don’t even recognize the mere existence of date rape and doesn’t consider any sexual assault caused by your date as a criminal or illegal act, which itself proves how unaware we are about this sensitive topic.
Victims, irrespective of their age or sexual orientation get hesitant to raise a voice against their own family or friends. If the perpetrator is the victim’s significant other, then the chances of converting it into serial rape increase exponentially. It is high-time we understand what date rape actually means and how to deal with it. The next time you hear someone boosting these myths, try to correct them and let them know how sensitive this subject is.
1. It happens in the heat of the moment
Image source: ladysmithgazette
A lot of people assume that an act of utter violence like rape happens in the spur of the moment, which is the most misleading fact of all. Contrary, it has been observed that the perpetrator often comes up with a plan to set up the entire thing.
Since date rapes are caused by someone who is known to the victim, they get to know about their schedule and start getting to know about their vulnerability. A victim gets stalked by someone they already know. It could be anyone from their colleague to their neighbor, who has got this dirty idea of using the victim’s body and leaving an irrevocable scar on their soul.
How can someone mix your drink with a drug or isolate you from anyone else in the heat of the moment? How can a perpetrator plan the entire thing and confront their victims without making a plan? It is always planned and a victim can be alerted by reading the signs depicted by most of the perpetrators.
2. It’s just about sex
Image source: greece.greekreporter
It has been assumed that rape is solely related to sex. People think that it is done only to satisfy someone’s sexual desires, which is again a wrong perception. Date rape, in particular, is not just about sex, it is about power. It is carried out by a perpetrator in order to fight and damage their victim.
Have you ever wondered why people vandalize the newly painted walls or why they wither a flower in anonymity? Do you ever think why people assault innocent kids or rob banks? It is our human nature to destroy something we can never have. Most of the perpetrators are angry at themselves and the moment they see that sense of joy and happiness in their victim’s eye, they do everything they can to take that innocence away. Rape is not just about sex, it is about the idea of destroying something one can never have.
3. It’s not a rape if there is no physical damage
We have always been taught that people react to a catastrophic event in two ways – they either fight or flight. We all react to a certain situation in a different way, and just because the victim is not capable enough of giving a fight, it doesn’t mean that the intensity of rape is anyhow less.
Too often, the victim is taken by surprise. They don’t expect a move like that, especially coming from an acquainted person, which freezes them to the core. They might not get physically damaged during the entire act, but the emotional and psychological impact that is left by such a demeaned incident, often leaves them broken beyond repair. Just because the victim didn’t fight, doesn’t mean that it is not a rape.
Suggested Read: 10 bizarre reasons why rapes happen in India
4. Victims can stop the rape
Image source: clublenguajenoverbal
A lot of people have been found saying that it is the victim’s fault and that they can easily stop the act. I have tried really hard to understand it, but can’t really come up with a pragmatic explanation.
Can you stop yourself from dying? Can you stop yourself from getting shot? Can you stop the clock from ticking? Can you go back in time and undo everything? No. You can’t. The same way, a victim can’t always stop the rape. They can fight or do whatever they can in their power to resist it. But they can’t stop it altogether.
5. You can’t say “no” to your date
This is undoubtedly one of the worst things about getting sexually assaulted by your partner or a love interest. Just because you are dating someone, doesn’t mean that they have the right to have sex with you whenever they want.
Even if you have initiated the act, it doesn’t mean you can’t say no to them. You can let them know how uncomfortable you are getting even in the middle of the act. If they are forcing you to have sex with them or if you are getting sexually assaulted, it only means that your partner is crossing the line. There is just no other explanation for that.
6. People lie about getting raped
Yes, it has been reported that over the last few years around 2% of people have lied about getting raped, but what about the other 98% of people who get raped by their own friends and family.
It takes guts to come out and let the world know that you were being used by someone else to fulfill their sexual needs. The idea of getting used by someone to meet their sexual and physical needs can break anyone’s sense of self-esteem and worth entirely. Instead of focusing on the small faction of people who lied or got away with it, we should rather focus on the group of those tormented souls who are getting assaulted every passing day. They are not able to come out and let the world know about what is happening to them because we have started questioning the wrong group of people.
7. Only unattractive and creepy people are rapists
Image source: harfordmedlegal
Call it bad typecasting of people or our way of perceiving the entire situation, but most of the people assume that only creepy or someone who is not attractive enough can become a rapist.
Needless to mention, the myth itself seems like a joke. Anyone out there can turn into a perpetrator, without considering their looks or their appearance. We can never judge someone’s behavior or what is going on in their mind with their looks.
Suggested read: A marital rape survivor’s diary
8. It is not a men’s issue
It is really as simple as that. We are not supposed to teach victims how to stop themselves from getting raped, we are supposed to teach the perpetrators to stop the act and stand against the issue.
Also, rape is not just a women’s issue. It is a proven fact that there are millions of men out there who were being sexually assaulted as well. Rape is not judged by anyone’s gender, age, or sexuality. Instead of playing the blame game, we should rather focus on the issue itself.
Our lack of knowledge regarding this topic is one of the reasons why it often goes unreported or is neglected in several parts of the world. Now when you know these common myths about date rape, you can certainly educate others. Our society has come up with several misleading presumptions about date rape that should strictly be avoided. It is your duty to make things right and raise your voice in order to educate others. You might end up creating a difference in someone’s life!
Featured image source: kidshealth
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
