Guys will do anything to get their pants down. They will create unbelievable excuses, create fake personas and even risk their lives to have sex. For them, the ends justify the means. The means, however range from being romantic and genuine to being just outright wacky.
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Suggested read: 25 mushy things to say to your girlfriend after a fight
We got 8 guys to speak about the craziest things they have done to get laid, just as an example.
1. Skipped out on a term paper
“I had a term paper due on a Monday and being the procrastinator I am, I sat down on Sunday evening to write a 2000 word essay. Just as I was getting into the groove, an old flame of mine hit me up and asked me if I could come over. I left the cursor on the screen blinking for the rest of the night. Next day, I had to tell the professor that my computer crashed. Got an extension too!”
2. Trespassed. Police got called. Went to talk to the police with a boner
“So I once met this chick in a bar and she calls me over to her house. At that point I was going through dry patch, so I was overjoyed at the prospect of something happening. She lived in an apartment building and we went to her room. But I was so out of practice that I didn’t even have a condom on me and she wouldn’t do it without one. So I had to leave the complex at 12:30 PM to buy condoms from a 24×7 pharmacy half a mile away. When I returned at around 1PM, I saw that the gates to the complex had been closed. I had worked too hard to get to this point, so I climbed over the fence and jumped inside. I sneaked up to her room. While we were doing it, there were loud knocks on the door. Surprised, I went to the door and opened it to find a police officer. I still had a boner. Turns out, a couple of people had seen me jump the fence and thought I was breaking into the girl’s house.”
3. Trekked to a hill station to meet an online friend
“I met this girl online and she seemed to have the hots for me for some time. I decided to surprise her and took a trip to Darjeeling. I saved up for a month, lied to my parents and went alone. Regardless to say, sex is even better in the hills. My parents never found out.”
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
4. Went as the friend to hijack his blind date
“My friend had a blind date, and he was feeling a little under the weather. But he had told me that the girl was really hot and he felt bad that he couldn’t go. So I did what any considerate friend would do. I went as him, had a really nice time and even ended up having sex. My friend thought I had gone to office on an emergency.”
Suggested read: 12 amazing tips on how to improve your sex life
5. Pretended to be an F1 Racer
“One particular Sunday I went to a sports bar for a change and I started chatting up this girl who seemed to be into a lot of competitive racing. She told me how she thought F1 was incredibly sexy, and I told her that I frequented quite a few tracks and was an F1 racer myself. Googling some terms and names in the bathroom ensured that she was smitten. That night, we were both racing.”
6. Faked injuries to ask for a massage
“My girlfriend was really angry with me and I really thought that doing the dirty was the answer. But there was no way in hell that she would be up for it while she was angry. So I did what any sensible man would do – I faked a shoulder injury and got a massage from her. And as I would have it, within 5 minutes we were at it like rabbits.”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
7. Braved the rain and got pneumonia
“When your girlfriend texts you that her parents are not in town, then you brave rain, hail and thunder to go there. One particular time, I went to my girlfriend’s house – which is on the other side of the city, just because her parents weren’t home. It was raining cats and dogs and I didn’t take an umbrella, and still by spirits weren’t dampened. On reaching the place, I didn’t even wait to change my wet clothes. Woke up with pneumonia. Doesn’t matter – had mindblowing sex.”
8. Got married
“There’s no way on earth I’m explaining that one.” <laughs>
If that doesn’t tell you to what extent guys will go in order to have sex, then nothing will. If only we put the same effort into other things like work, or cleaning up our rooms – then the world would surely be a much better place to be in. But hell, cheers to the crazy things men do to get laid.
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