Even if a relationship is not going well, it can still be hard to finally call it quits. Whether the dumper is feeling guilty or the person getting dumped is already going through a stressful time in life, there are many reasons why the breakup conversation can get delayed. However, the dumper should ultimately take responsibility if they want to end the relationship.
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If you are the one initiating the breakup and you cannot find a way to say it, this article can help you. Here are a few things you should keep in mind when you are thinking of breaking up with someone:
1. Ensure that you are not being mean or condescending about it. It is someone else’s feelings that you are about to hurt. You need to do it gently.
2. Do not go into a breakup conversation if you are still unclear about your feelings. You should be completely sure that you want to end the relationship.
3. Be understanding of the person getting dumped and that they are likely feeling a lot of negative emotions. They will probably need time and space to process everything.
Suggested read: 15 heartbreaking breakup songs that made us cry harder
You need to have a certain amount of emotional intelligence to handle this situation, and you should make sure that your facial expressions and body language do not communicate negativity, that would hurt the other person. The more gently you go about it, the better it is going to be in the future for both you and the other person.
1. “Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” – Colleen Hoover
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Yes, it sounds like a line from a rom-com, but it might work really well. This will get you off easy and also make you seem like you are open to the idea of getting back together in the future. But please use this only if you are open to the idea of being with the person again. If you are not, then saying this will only hurt the other person more in the long run.
2. “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” – J P Morgan
If you are about to take that first step, you need to be honest with your partner that the relationship isn’t working out anymore. You should explain the various changes happening in your life and why you need to take time and space for yourself and not be involved in a relationship.
This ensures that the other person doesn’t feel like they are at fault and also means that you are simply prioritizing other things at this stage of your life.
3. “That last page turned is a perfect excuse to write a whole new book.” – Toni Sorenson
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Well, this essentially means that there is always a new start to be had even if something is ending. You will come across as a well-wisher, and they might not react too aggressively to the breakup.
Understand that they have sentiments too, and you might have to cater to them when you do not necessarily have a concrete reason to break up with them.
4. “Even when we are alone, we are in it together.”
When you are using this line when breaking up with someone, you need to understand that they are going to feel dejected and useless even if you still want to be friends with them.
While using this quote, you need to make it clear to your partner that they didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, you just would prefer to be alone at that point in time. You can tell them that you’d like to remain friends and that you still care for them.
Suggested read: 12 signs it’s time to get over your breakup
5. “Like some wines, our love could neither mature nor travel.” – Graham Greene
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Well, this line is best used to describe a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. If it is at the same point where it started, there have been unresolved fights, or just high tensions overall, then it might be time to end the relationship and let both you and your partner move on to better things.
But again, to ensure that you are not hurting their feelings too badly, you should take some responsibility for the relationship as well if the two of you could not sort out your problems. It is not all their fault, right?
6. “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson
This well-known line from Tennyson’s poem is one of the best ways to break up with someone, but it needs to be carefully used. You will have to let them know that you enjoyed the relationship, but that the love is gone and that you two have grown apart. This doesn’t put you in a bad light and also lets them know that the relationship was definitely worth it and so is the breakup, so that you both find a better match in the future. It is one of the nicer ways of breaking up, if used smartly.
7. “Don’t say that the relationship is over, say it’s complete. Some aren’t meant to last forever.”
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This is for the more practical partners who understand that relationships don’t always last forever. They come and go and it is okay to let go. It is meaningful and also one of the best ways to part on good terms.
Using this line essentially means that even though you are ending your relationship, they know that you loved what you had but now it is time to move forward and start new chapters in your lives.
8. “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr Suess
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By saying this to your partner, you are reiterating that you appreciated your relationship for what it was. You also acknowledge that the memories are worth the occasional smile. But sadly, it wasn’t meant to last.
Explain to them why you want to leave the relationship and be firm about your decision. It might seem harsh, but it’s important to be clear if you are really not willing to give it another shot.
Suggested read: 10 sure signs you’re ready to date after a breakup
Breaking up with someone is always unpleasant. It is really difficult to let go of someone who you have been attached to. While it may seem easier for the person doing the breaking up, this is not always the case. It can be immensely hard for you to break someone’s heart, but when there is no way out of it, there just isn’t.
Come to terms with the fact that you are not going to be with them. As much as you would like to comfort them after the breakup, you will also have to take time and space away to heal. Don’t play mind games and do not use these lines to mock them because a breakup is difficult for everyone involved.
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