“How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” -Paulo Coelho
So, before we learn how to deal with rude people, let’s first find out why people are rude, and why their meanness has nothing to do with you, but them.
Why are people rude?
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Rude people are nothing but little balls of misery rolled up in skin. You must be aware of a psychological term called transference. When people feel really awful about something, they push it off onto someone else. That’s transference.
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Most people you see walking the earth are actually very unhappy. Some of them have a reason to be gloomy, while others have none. But at one point or the other, you will be the target of one of these people and their miseries. And so, it is important for you to know how to cope with rude people.
You’ve never been anyone’s target? Well, what does that say about you? 😉
The key to dealing with rude people is to not take what they say personally. I know, it is easier said than done, but the rudeness can overwhelm you if you don’t separate yourself from it. Rather than handing in your badge, let me help you with some tricks to get past the nonsense of rude people, and handle them effectively.
Some of these tactics will embrace the rude guys, while the others will help you catch them off guard. But no matter what method you use, the goal here is to protect yourself. There are a number of rude people, maybe at work or even at home (!), who you wish you could ‘unmeet’. But that can’t be done! So instead, let’s focus on some practises that will help you survive the craziness.
One thing you need to keep in mind, before we get started, is that no matter who you are and what you do, nobody should be allowed to step on you and wreck your day!
How to deal with rude people?
Exhausted of being a punching bag to people? Here are some ways you can contend with the rude folks, get them off your back, and even, in some cases, knock some sense into their heads!
1. Yell out the bully
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” ― Edmund Burke
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Most rude people are guided by two stars: one, unhappiness, and two, jealousy. If someone is rude to you, chances are they have judged you as someone who will take it, or they are envious of something that belongs to you. Although it is a tough thing to do, when a person is rude to you, you have to stand tall and give it to them!
The best way to take a bully down, is to show them you have the muscles to do just that. Like Burke says, bullies are not strong people, but on the contrary, cows!
They may be your colleague, and you may need to see them and work with them every day. Even then, remember, you are worthy of respect. So whenever they are impolite, call them out!
2. Introduce them to their insolence
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Believe it or not, some people have no idea that they are rude! Beat that! You need to understand that their parents, unlike yours, didn’t teach them that if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all! If they keep making rude comments without filtering them, you should ask them if they realize what they are saying is insulting to others.
There is no need for you to be aggressive towards them. All you have to do is ask them if they know there being hurtful or not. In some cases, this can be enough to bar them in their tracks, by making them think twice when they talk to you or others, for that matter.
You should not make an assumption that rude people know they are rude; they can be socially unaware of it.
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3. Fake a sarcasm
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What I usually do, when people are rude to me is respond (as opposed to react) with kindness. This works considering how miserable that creature is. Be so overly nice to them, and stretch it to the point of sarcasm, if need be!
Sometimes when you are excessively good and accommodating to a rude person, you catch them off-guard. Rude people, more than often, justify their rudeness (and why they are such horrors of human beings!) by saying how difficult life has been for them. They assume (or that is what they say) that the whole world is rude. You need to show them that’s not true. Don’t feed into the cancer that they are. No matter how rude they are to you, smile at them; smile a knowing smile that is sure to kill them!
And if that doesn’t work: Buy a sword. Name it compassion. Kill rude people with compassion! 😉
4. Ignore the hell out of them
How to deal with rude people? Simply ignore them! If they still don’t get it, and see your disregard as their license to be worse, you need to revert to point 1, and call them out. Things would have been so different if Britt McHenry, the ESPN reporter was called out by the parking attendant she was super rude to! If you have no clue what I am talking about, watch this:
*Prepare to be shocked*
You may have a job where you need to handle rude customers, but the idea that the customer is always right, must not extend to them abusing you or making you feel horrible about yourself. You must refuse to be treated that way. So, the next time a rude person tries to transfer his or her unhappiness onto you, just ask them to back off!
5. Let your superior in
If your colleague or your manager is constantly berating you, and making it impossible for you to work, you need to talk to your superior about it. It is a personality conflict and your supervisor should know about.
You, however, should not resort to name-calling or rehash all that was said to you. You don’t want to sound childish, do you? Just tell your superior that you are having issues with this person, and that it is negating your ability to do your job together with this person who is the source of all your grief! If your case is genuine, they will surely help you out.
6. Care to stop and ask if you have offended them in any way
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This is important. Sometimes people are rude to us, because we have been rude to them before, without realizing, of course. May be in the past, you hurt this person’s feelings. You may have rubbed them the wrong way. In that case, it is quite natural for them to have a bad impression of you; it is quite expected of them to want to hurt you right back.
If a person is behaving rudely only with you, but is polite to everyone else, you need to talk to them and ask them why it is that they are acting that way. This will help you get rid of the animosity, and will also create the meeting of minds. The greatest of friendships have started this way, FYI! 
7. Run away from this person
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If all the above cures fail to change that rude person who’s made your life hell, the only way to deal with him or her is to stay away from them.
I know running away cannot be the answer. But in this case, it is the best one. When you cannot reason with a person, there is no point fighting it out. If you meet them when you go down for a smoke, change your schedule. If they are stationed in the next cubicle, request to be moved. If you meet them at a bar, start visiting a different bar!
Dealing with rude people isn’t always easy. But you need to keep in mind that some folks out there are so miserable that they will do anything in their power to transfer that despair onto you!
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You need not endure someone’s rudeness. No one is paying you for that, right? It is not a part of your responsibility to be someone’s punching bag. Handling a bully with maturity, grace, and self-confidence can be difficult, but it is necessary. Like I have already told you, rude people are unhappy with everything; the environment, people around them, and life in general. Or else why would one invest so much energy and time to make others feel suicidal… Well almost!
How about calling your rude person out through us? Leave your story in the comment section below, and who knows, they might read it too! No harm trying, eh?!
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