Nothing hurts like love. We all have experienced the darker side of it and are pretty reluctant to slip again into the other side. When we fall in love with someone, we give them the whole of our heart and soul. We don’t really think about the future or anything at all. The mere idea of being with someone special takes us off-guard. We let go of our walls and are ready to walk a thousand miles for them.
When the initial adrenaline rush subsides, we are bound to face the music. Relationships are time-consuming and it is only after a while, we get to acknowledge where we stand. We see everything from a more pragmatic way to judge the difference between what’s right and wrong. Our fear starts to take a toll on us and doesn’t really let us live in the moment.
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As surprising as it might sound, it is a good thing to have to be afraid. If you are scared, it means you have something to lose. Though, you can never let your fears overtake the mere essence of your relationship. You can’t let them change the direction of your life. You won’t be able to enjoy your relationship. Instead, you would just keep oscillating between your fears, without cherishing what you already have.
You might be having a few relationship fears as well. Being afraid is the most natural thing in this world. You should congratulate yourself as you are courageous enough to acknowledge your fears. You have already taken the first step. Now, it is time to face your fears and overcome them with your determination.
1. The fear of being cheated on
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Personally, this is something which never ceases to leave me. Whenever I’m in a serious relationship with my partner, I keep thinking of them with someone else. It took me a while to realize that I can’t be accountable for their actions. I can’t be with her all the time. All I can do is trust her, and that should be enough.
Lack of trust is one of the major reasons for having the fear of being cheated on. Try to be extremely sensitive here. Don’t ask your partner for an assurance and keep tagging along with them wherever they go. Your actions would kill their personal space and they might get agitated. Start by having some faith in your relationship. There are plenty of trust-building exercises that you can do with your partner. This will not only bring the two of you closer, but you would move past your fear as well.
2. The fear of settling for something less than you deserve
Nobody likes to live a life full of “what ifs” and “buts”. Do you think you are simply settling for something less than you deserve? If your answer is yes, then why don’t you go back in time and try to revisit all those initial days of your relationship. There must be a reason why you are with your partner, right? They must have swept you off your feet with their charismatic attitude. There was a time when you fell in love them irrevocably. You simply have to recreate the magic in your relationship by accepting the change.
People think that falling in love is an event. No. You are not supposed to fall in love with your partner just once. It is a process. It is all about falling in love with them with every passing day. Try to accept the change and rediscover your relationship.
Though, after making an effort, if you still think that you deserve something better, then there is no harm in walking out of the relationship. If you believe you need to compromise a lot or have to give up your dreams and aspirations for them, then your relationship fears could be true.
3. The fear of not being enough for your partner
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There comes a time in almost every relationship when we ask ourselves this crucial question.
“Am I good enough for him/her?”
This is one of the most persisting relationship fears and can even end your fruitful bond. Your partner can always help you by making you realize your worth, but it is you who need to take the first step. Lack of self-worth is one of the main causes of having this fear. You could have had a bad childhood or a few failed relationships in the past. This could have made you question your self-worth.
Before you ask your partner this question, take a step back and realize your worth. Have a look in the mirror and stare at your own reflection. Keep staring at it until you find your worth. Get a better mirror. We all are beautiful and worthy of having a lifetime of unconditional love. You, my friend, are not an exception. You are just beautifully deceived.
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4. The fear of being unhappy
We all fall in love with someone to find happiness. As ironic as it might sound, the mere idea of not being happy with someone can sometimes make us fall out of love as well. It is not twisted at all. In fact, I have seen people falling in and out of love just because they were not able to find the idea of “happiness” they had in mind.
Before you date anyone or commit yourself in a relationship, you need to make sure that you are happy. Yes, you need to commence a relationship without any baggage. If you want to be with someone because you are looking for the happiness you deserve, then you are doing it the wrong way. Try to find your happiness in you. After that, you can certainly bring out the best in your partner.
The road to happiness is quite straightforward. Sadly, we have made it quite complicated. Be happy. That’s it. Don’t let the idea of being unhappy to destroy your relationship.
5. The fear of not getting accepted by their family and friends
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This is one of the most common relationship fears that people have. We all want to get accepted and loved by our partner’s friends and family. Their rejection or disapproval can sometimes be the most heartbreaking news to us. You can’t force someone to like you, right? Just be yourself and don’t try to fit in forcefully. Maintain your individuality and respect your pattern’s family. Try to appreciate their friends and be a part of their circle in the most effortless way. You can’t simply expect them to love you in the blink of an eye. Give it some time.
If you think you are facing some problems, then talk to your partner. They might give you some tips that can help you win them over in no time.
6. The fear of losing yourself
As twisted as it might sound, this is one of the most obvious relationship fears that people have. When we fall in love with someone, it changes us entirely. We are ready to give up our dreams and change the entire course of our life. We even give up on other significant things. Unwillingly, you might get distant from your friends and family as well.
Gradually, you might realize that you have lost the most significant part of you in the process of falling in love with someone else. To avoid this, you must understand that there are a few things that one should never let go of for anything at all – not even love. You certainly can’t give up your family or your values to be accepted by someone else.
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7. The fear of not having a future
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Too often, our idea of having a perfect future doesn’t let us cherish what we already have. It is always nice to have a practical approach to your life, but you can’t live for an abstract idea of your future. Start living in your present and be with the one you love. Talk to your partner and make plans regarding your future, but don’t let those plans take a toll on what you already have.
Fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely. Don’t be too emotional while making all those crucial life-changing decisions. If you think you don’t have a future with your partner, make an effort. If they are worth it, then walk an extra mile to make it work. Though, if you are certain that it will not work and you are not willing to take a chance, then there is nothing wrong with holding yourself. It is better to make a pragmatic move than being emotional at times.
There are some relationship fears that can help you strengthen your bond. The moment you overcome your fears, you realize their significance as well. They would make you a stronger individual and will let you come closer to your partner. Don’t let your fears make all the calls for you. Try to talk to your partner and take their help. Let your love be the inspiration you need to surpass your fear. Love conquers all! No matter how big your fear is, with a dash of love, it can be conquered.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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