The Six-in-One Theory Of ‘The ONE’

by Sejal Parikh · March 24, 2015

I have been telling you of a lot many things about ‘the one’ over the last few weeks. And if you have been as fast in catching up as my mind and heart are with churning out thoughts on the topic, you’d have figured by now that a half of me is a ‘hopeless romantic,’ meting out a girl’s heart-dreams and another half a ‘loving realist,’ who knows to differentiate a woman’s soul-food from girlish fancy. And I am constantly striking a balance between the two. In coming up with this theory, I have, I believe, attained an optimal mix. And therefore, it was, but impossible, to not let you lovely people know what this ‘six-in-one’ theory of ‘the one’ actually is!!

Let’s go!

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In my article, ‘How do you know if he/she is the ONE?’ I mentioned that for each of us, there are a number of ‘ones’ out there, ready to make us want to fall for them. We encounter each of these ‘ones’ along the grand feast of tasting life’s pleasures and do well to take a good succulent bite of each. Whether or not we spend our lives with them is a different issue altogether. But we meet them each, living, laughing away, and loving the moments spent, only to take a part of them with us in our hearts, forever. And whilst I helped you decipher how to make ‘the choice’ that helps you decide upon ‘the one’ amongst these many ‘the one-s’ you want to build a lifetime with, I shall now outline ‘who’ this ‘chosen one’ should be!

The Answer – It should be six people, not just one!

Suggested read: 8 telltale signs he is your soul mate

Yep, you read that right. Now, now, before you dismiss this, trust me, like you always do and take a few more seconds to read on. When I say that ‘the one’ you are looking for are actually six people, I imply the six different roles that ‘the one’ you choose to spend your life with should be able to fit in, with remarkable ease. These six people should make ‘the one’ you are meant to be with.

Who are these six people??

1. Best friend

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I have stated this countless times in my writing and it still isn’t enough. Marrying your best friend shall ensure that you can be doing absolutely nothing with him/her and it would still be EPIC. If you don’t enjoy grocery shopping with ‘the one’ you have chosen or cannot chat with them while doing laundry or whisking egg whites, you might not enjoy ‘doing’ marriage. Coz marriage, as I always say, is more about wonky Wednesdays and forgettable Fridays than magical Mondays. More than magical, Mondays and for that matter, moments, for the most part, shall be mundane. For example, if you are stuck in a traffic jam and have to wait for three hours just to ram on the accelerator again, you should be able to look at ‘the one’ in your passenger seat and think, “I would not want to be stuck here with anybody else.” If that is the friend you have found in ‘the one’ you want to choose, I’d say, ‘go ahead and choose him/her a thousand times over.’ It is only with such a friendship that mundane moments turn magical.

2. Lover

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Well, of course. Right? A person you wish to spend a lifetime with should be ‘the one’ who should be able to melt your insides, have your body writhe with a tingling sensation when they are close, rev up your pulse, send butterflies fluttering in your stomach, and most of all, make you love, live, and laugh!! Coz love isn’t just about attraction! And attraction isn’t just about looks. You should be in love with the personality, humor, faith, drive, passion, vision, and goals of ‘the one’ you have chosen to give yourself wholly to. After all, if he/she doesn’t rev up the ignition when you turn the key, journeying with them across expressways and even bumpy paths for a long, long time wouldn’t be welcoming, is it??

3. Teammate

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A person you choose to be with, aka your soul mate, should be on your team, always. He/she should remember that whatever it is that you do, you are both equally accountable for it. Not because ‘WE’ should override ‘ME’ in relationships but because no matter what the situation, you have chosen to be in it, build it, nurture it, and sustain it. It is only when a team works together to achieve what they have set their heart on that achieving the vision becomes possible. Also, in case of mistakes too, your teammate will be at your back even if that means that an individual mistake needs to be discussed in a huddle or in the dressing room (oops, sorry – in this case, home!)

Suggested read: 10 fights that strengthen a couple’s bond

4. Wartime Ally

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Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. It can very much feel like war. When battle cry is heard, you need to be with ‘the one’ who shall help you brave it, by being on your side. Life can be really rough – lost dreams, ambitions, jobs, lost loved ones or even trivial day-to-day responsibilities wearing one out. So when the bullets start flying across the room, you need to know that you will hunker down in the bunker together to dodge them. You may even discuss war strategy whilst the enemy troops scale up the walls of your home. After all, ‘the urge to pull the trigger’ will always be tempting but it is your love for each other that should enable you to fight for each other, instead of against!

5. Helper

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When life shall become much more than going-out-on-dates-and-crashing-on-the-couch, you shall not just need a charmer, but a person who can help. Getting up in the middle of the night to a crying baby, doing the dishes, taking out the trash, cooking for guests on a day’s notice, filling the ice-trays, and so much more isn’t a one-person thing! Trust me. So, don’t just choose someone who is a lover, a best friend, an ally or a teammate. Add the ‘lovable’ helper who makes you laugh whilst you are brewing a hot cup of coffee and he is chopping veggies for a quick-to-make breakfast for the next day! Coz God knows, as much as I do, you’d need this ‘the one.’

6. Business Partner

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Now this may come as a surprise but it is here. Marriage is a business. You invest much more than time and emotions. Budgets, bills, investments, earnings, savings, money, future plans are all a joint thing. I know people have become financially smart to keep things different but they are still operating the joint ‘business’ of marriage. Just like a business needs thorough paper work, a marriage needs a completely honest familiarity with the reality of financial situations on both sides. After all, if you spend and he/she saves and you refuse to strike a midway, your marriage might be spent before you can save it and reap long-term profits. And whilst this may come as kind of crude to some, it is the ‘loving realist’ in me who smiles and mentally utters, ‘I know better.’

So, there you go. That is the six-in-one theory of ‘the one’ I was so excited to share with you. J Do not forget to share your thoughts with me through the comment box below.

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