“Nobody said it was easy
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start.”
– ‘The Scientist’ by Coldplay
Breaking up with someone is never easy. It signifies the culmination of a significant chapter in your life. You have to concede that it had its good times of happiness and joy, along with times of sadness and melancholy. No relationship is perfect. When we human beings ourselves are not perfect, how can a relationship be perfect? We can only strive toward perfection. But when you reach a point in your relationship where you’re constantly thinking of either avoiding your partner or thinking about ways to avoid them, then it’s time to call it quits.
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There are no fail-safe ways of breaking up, and more than likely, your partner is going to be hurt by it. Your partner might have seen it coming or it may be totally out of the blue, either way, you have to ease into a breakup. You can’t just blurt it out anywhere and anytime you feel like it’s the end of the road for you.
Suggested read: 10 sure signs you’re ready to date after a breakup
1. Honesty sucks! Honestly!
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Your partner deserves honesty from you, even if you’ve started hating and/or resenting them. They may not like what you have to say, but it doesn’t lessen the need for honesty from you. Honesty doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to dissect every teeny tiny aspect of your time together. Tell your partner why you can’t continue with this relationship and your need to move on – without them.
2. Nothing private about it
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Choosing a neutral, public place like a restaurant or a café might lessen the chances of your partner losing it – either partially or completely. It’s embarrassing to both of you to lose your cool in public. The breakup might be something they’ve been expecting for some time or a complete surprise. And if you’re alone with your partner when you break the news to them, chances are they may resort to emotional speeches or tears to make you doubt your decision of breaking up. They may also succeed in swaying you to reconsider your decision of breaking off things with them. If you’re sure of your decision to bring the curtain down on the relationship, then go ahead with the breakup.
3. Calmness gets you through the storm
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The breakup is hard for both of you – no question about it. But you’ve had some time to adjust to the thought of being without your partner. If it’s a complete surprise for your partner, they may be shocked to find out your thoughts on the relationship. Even if you break the news in a public place, there’s a chance that your partner might not care about it and may start calling you every expletive known to them in every language they know! Being calm and trying not to take it personally, you can weather the abusive storm, so to speak.
Try to put yourself in their shoes. They’re hurt and they’re entitled to it. It’s the hurt making them hurl profanities at you that could make even a sailor blush!
4. Right here, right now. No, no, heck NO!
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After you’re sure that you want to end the relationship, you can’t just say it to your partner whenever and wherever. You have to pick the right time and place to let your partner know that it’s over and done with. One of the worst times to tell your partner about it is when you’re with your friends. It’s rude and disrespectful of you to blurt out something earth-shattering – for them at least – in front of an audience.
Suggested read: 20 simple steps to get your groove back after a breakup
5. Have some courage
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Ending a relationship via a text message, or an email, or a phone call, or even worse: letting somebody else do it for you, is rude and disgraceful, not to mention cowardly. Have the courage to end it in person. You owe this much to your partner. Look them in the eye and end things once and for all. It’s very undignified of you to leave them hanging on to hopes of a future reconciliation if you’re ambiguous about the breakup in the first place. If you’re clear and crisp about what you’re saying, they get the message and won’t hold on to false hope.
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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