Not all men are well-versed in the art of catching and holding the attention of a woman they like. Whether it’s conversing in a wide variety of topics, that too interesting and intelligent conversation, or even so much as getting up the nerve to walk up to a woman and offer to buy her a drink, it’s not every man’s forte. And this is where pickup lines come in.
There are good pickup lines and bad pickup lines, funny ones and not-so funny ones, creepy ones and creepier ones, and a few that work (?) and those that don’t, but these seem to be the bane of a woman’s existence! (I know, I know, it’s an exaggeration on my part, but you can’t deny the fact that it is annoying to have to listen to the same old clichéd, creepy, boring, unfunny, and probably the worst pickup lines that men have beaten to death with overuse!)
Suggested read: 20 pickup lines that should be banned forever
Anyway, we thought why not make a list of all the creepy/unfunny/boring/bizarre and everything in between kinda pickup lines for your amusement! So here goes!
1. Did you just fart? ‘Cause you’re blowing me away!
Image source: Tumblr
Ewww!
2. Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.
Awww… no.
3. Are you wearing a mirror? Because I can see myself in your pants.
Nope. Just no.
4. Your breasts remind of me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
Image source: Giphy
Seriously?!
5. I hear you’re looking for a stud. Well, I’ve got the STD and all I need is you.
Ugh! What’s wrong with you?!
6. Your hair smells like daffodils. Can I have another smell?
Uh… creepy much?
7. You’re more beautiful than my daughter.
Um… what?!
8. Do you have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.
Image source: Tumblr
Does this line work – EVER?
9. So do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want me to walk by again?
No, thanks.
10. I’m making a two million dollar bonus this year.
Get outta here. No, seriously. Get out.
11. Wanna touch my hump?
Not in a million years and you were the last person on earth besides me!
12. You seem like the kinda girl who’s heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?
Image source: Tumblr
Can you just stop!
13. Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He’d like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get ahold of me in the morning.
Presumptuous jerk!
14. Ok, I’m here. What are your two other wishes?
Wait, what?
15. Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection.
NO!
16. Go on; feel my jacket. It’s made of boyfriend material.
Image source: wifflegif
Haha… no.
17. The word of the day is legs. Let’s go to your house and spread the word.
What’s wrong with you?!
18. Get out of your life and into my bed!
I’d rather die!
19. You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
Nope.
20. Are you a slave girl? Because you look like you should be.
Image source: Tumblr
Did you hit your head on your way, you jerk!
21. You’re so hot, I would trade you for a new truck.
Go date your truck, you butthead!
22. I don’t need twitter, I’m already following you.
Image source: popkey
Stalker much?
23. My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
Get away from me! Get away! Get away! NOW!
24. Hey, baby. Want a raisin? Sorry, none left. Perhaps a date then?
Smooth. Not.
25. Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel.
More like touched in the head!
26. Do you work at Subway? ‘Cause you just gave me a foot-long.
Image source: makeagif
Yuck!
27. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.
Go dream again.
Suggested read: 13 winning pickup lines that shall seal the deal
28. You have a beautiful head. It would look marvelous next to the other ones in my freezer.
<Beep> <Beep> Serial killer alert!
29. Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I’m going Klingon to you!
Image source: Tumblr
Uh… I think NOT!
30. Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths.
Swim away all you want, you microbe! Just not near me or with me.
Ugh! There are simply no words for the ingenuity of people who come up with these one-liners, that have got to be the worst pickup lines in the history of dating!
Let’s hope these are NEVER used on you!
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