20 Things You Need To Know If You’re Dating An Independent Woman

by Aishani Laha · June 19, 2015

There is something inherently attractive about a woman who is independent and has a strong personality. This is probably the reason they get a lot of male attention. However, some men think dating an independent woman is a challenge of sorts, because in order to be in a long-term relationship with them, they have to make certain changes in their behavior and mindset. She’s fierce and independent, which is why she appealed to you in the first place. If you want to keep her, there are certain things that you must know about dating an independent woman.

The good news is that an independent woman is independent in every possible way, whether it is financially or emotionally, which might make you feel left out sometimes. But you don’t have to worry, because the good news is that they are also very tolerant and considerate of your feelings, and if they have agreed to get into a relationship with you, then they are ready to share their lives, which is a huge deal for them. Here are just some of the things that you have to keep in mind before you start dating one.

1. She needs her alone time

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A relationship is not always about being on top of each other and kissing and hugging and talking about deep emotional stuff. If you have decided to date an independent woman, you have to be ready to give her her alone time whenever she asks for it, and alone means alone. No texts. No calls. And no surprise visits.

2. Her career is as important as yours

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Her career is one of the most important things in her life, and you have to accept the fact that her life and her profession are as important and demanding as yours, if not more. The upside is, she is not likely to cry about it.

3. You cannot disturb her when she is in the zone

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Independent women have most parts of their life well-scheduled and sorted out, such as their careers and their workout sessions. If you are in a relationship with one, then she will gladly let you join her. But if you don’t want to, then you have to leave her alone while she goes around her day-to-day.

4. She is your partner, not your wife

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So if you have a sleepover with her, expect a lot of fun and cuddling and fooling around, sure. But God forbid you wake up in the morning and expect her to make you breakfast in bed, because she will dress up, grab a cup of coffee, and head out for work.

5. She is very affectionate

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And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Independence does not mean a heart made of stone, and independent women too need affection and are ready to lavish love on their partners as well. As long as you don’t start tying her down with whining and jealousy and things like that, it’s all good.

6. She never nags

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Just as you are expected to respect her comfort zone and her decisions and her choices, she will also respect yours. One thing you do not have to worry about when you are with her is nagging and pressurizing you into doing things you don’t want to.

7. You cannot tell her what to do

“You cannot hang out with him.” “You cannot wear that dress.” “You have to be back by 11.” “You cannot drink without me.” If you even think along these lines, she will drop you like a hot coal and find someone more suited to her independence.

8. She is a problem solver

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Sometimes, men may feel out of sorts when dating independent women, because they tend to become silent and reticent during trying times. You might feel that she is not sharing her problems with you, but it is likely that she is trying to figure out a solution herself first.

9. She will ask for your help when she needs it

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Along the same vein, if you plan to be with your super-cool girlfriend for a really long time, then you have to refrain from extending a helping hand all the time. If she needs help, then the first person she will approach is you. Till then, let her handle the situation.

10. No sugar-coating, no fabrications

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Independent women have the strength of character to call a spade a spade, no matter the consequences. If she has bad habits, she’ll tell you to your face. She’ll not make an effort to be someone she is not.

11. She is not afraid to voice her opinions

Her strong personality inevitably carries with it a plethora of opinions, which you cannot possibly shoot down, whether it is regarding the color of the curtains or women’s rights. You can have a constructive argument with her, but can never dismiss her perspectives.

12. Expect intellectually stimulating conversations

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The great thing about dating an independent woman is that you can have conversations with her about anything under the sun – we’re talking intelligent and refreshing discussions – as opposed to constant shop talk and gossip, which you can expect from spoilt ladies.

13. She can dress sexy…for herself

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If you are expecting your girlfriend to dress up in racy clothes for your benefit, then you will be disappointed most of the time. She dresses up to look and feel sexy and attractive for herself, so it is an added bonus for you, not for your benefit.

14. You are not expected to pay for her

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Worried about how to date an independent woman? Why don’t you think about the perks for a change? For example, you will not be expected to pay for her meals or other outings when you are out with her. You can dutch it and split, and it is likely she might even offer to pay. Doesn’t seem like a daunting task now, does it?

15. You don’t have to keep her company at parties

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Introducing your girl to your boys for the first time at a party? You can expect her to gel right in, without you having to hover around to make sure that she is comfortable and not awkward. She’ll be able to handle the situation with élan by herself.

Suggested read: How to love an emotionally unavailable woman

16. She can inspire you

Another perk. Because of her never-give-up attitude, she has managed to get this far in life without anyone else’s help. Her fear of failure has also taught her to make the right decisions. All this is bound to rub off on you, and you are likely to become a stronger individual in her presence.

17. Expect loyalty

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The thing about independent women is they are fierce and passionate about everything in their lives and everything they believe in. If she believes in and trusts you, then expect her to be completely loyal to you, even in the face of the greatest, most trying adversity.

18. She will not come back if you break her heart

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Most boys think it is cool to break up after a fight because when their girlfriends come and ask for another chance, it is a boost to their egos. Do not expect anything of the sort to happen when you break up with your independent girlfriend. She will move on faster than you would care to admit.

19. Marriage is not the be-all and end-all of her existence

Independent women are open to the idea of marriage, but they will only give their consent if they are 100% sure of their partner. If they are not, then they will not be afraid to decline the proposal, no matter how sweet and romantic it is.

20. Independent women need strong men

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This is one of the first and most important things you have to understand about dating an independent woman. If you do not have a strong personality and an independent streak in yourself (and no, we are not talking about your ego here), then you might want to reconsider, as you would not be able to handle her for more than a few weeks.

Dating an independent woman is actually not as scary as it sounds, because she can be as passionate about you as she is about herself. An independent woman has the benefit of being exposed to a variety of experiences, a result of which she is tolerant, loving, and intelligent. I can promise you that when you are with her, you will have the time of your life, and you will never get bored of your relationship. She can be fun, energetic, and adventurous, and be up for everything that you do with your “bros.” She will be more than glad to give you your own space and alone time, as long as you are ready to grant it to her too.

So if you can look past the minor adjustments that you have make in your behavior in order to let her be who she is, you will not regret having her as your partner for life.

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