Have you ever seen or been on a roller coaster? Now take ten seconds, close your eyes, and recall the adrenaline pumping through your body, the excitement, the nervousness, the fear, the faint tear coming out of your eyes, the laughter, and just when you cling onto the railing, you stomach does drops out and you take the terrifying plunge…
Welcome to the first year of marriage, your roller coaster through heaven! It will have its ups and downs, fast and slow turns, thrills and chills, fear and courage, high passion and calm moments, liberation and constraints. All of these familiar emotions will come in the form of first fights, awesome make ups, your first house, and the first thrills – and horrors – of sharing your life completely with someone else. Here are some 20 things you can expect during one heaven of a ride!
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1. Mr and Mrs
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“Oh hello, please meet my spouse” – this will thrill you and set your heart pumping every time you say it and use it, especially when you introduce your spouse to the annoying person who has always made a big deal of you not being married. The title of wife and husband will give you a feeling of awe and entitlement to the world. It’s a way of making a statement to the universe, saying, ‘The two of us are going to build a magnificent world together!’
2. “That won’t happen to us. Will it?”
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While many will be fawning over your newfound union, still others will dismiss the love and affection you have for each other as merely being a honeymoon phase. Don’t let them make you doubt your relationship – they are just being sour. Sure, things will change, but that doesn’t mean it won’t continue to be amazing! Just enjoy the ride.
3. Is it me or did the room just become smaller?
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Space. Sharing your personal zones or spaces every day, like your bedroom or pillow, bathroom, closet space, couch, the front lawn, hanging with your buddies or girls, might not always go so smoothly. Your first year of marriage is like starting out to make a beautiful record: One of you is the lyric, the other the harmony, and your spaces is everybody else in your band helping you. You work on it and only with time and effort do you finally produce a great song! It may take some time, but in a while your respective spaces will fit together snugly.
4. The first fight
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Sounds like a movie – and if you recorded it, you could actually have a full script for a brilliant story right there! All the intensity, drama, suspense, tears, the storming out the door, the consequential heartfelt apology, and then the great makeup sex. It’s not always going to be this way, so learn from it, savour it, and enjoy it! It will only bring you closer.
5. Honey, I’m sorry I forgot the cheese
So your spouse doesn’t eat cheese and forgot to buy it for you. Things like that slip up from time to time. Leave a note the next time and say I love you. They won’t forget!
6. Is it me or is the music too loud?
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You have matured. You have new responsibilities now. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy being out on the town at night. Balance is key! Just remember that you will have to take care of yourself afterwards.
7. Couple friends
You will start looking for married couple friends to double date with. But don’t forget your old ones who are still single!
8. Somebody pinch me!
Oh yes, you are married! You better believe it by now!
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9. …goosebumps!
Yes, you do wonder from time to time how your life got to be all that you dreamed of, and more! Enjoy it, savor it, cherish it!
10. That’s new
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Everyone has quirks that go unnoticed for some time. Would it really change anything if your spouse hates to walk without slippers or brushes their teeth after a bath or coffee? Don’t be too surprised when these habits come up – accept them as part of your partner.
11. “You have changed”
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You will have this argument at least a few times during your first year of marriage. “You used to make more time for me,” or “You used to give me more space” – yes, things have changed. The two of you have become one. New things will start to take shape, and there is bound to be some discomfort in the process. It’s only a good thing – what started as two different worlds have come together to make one better world!
12. La familia!
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When you marry someone you marry their world, and their family plays a central role here. Now that you are officially inducted into this hall of fame, you will have your share of issues, which you will have to manage with grace and maturity. You will learn a lot from dealing with – and hopefully steering clear of – drama.
13. Baby talk
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This is inevitable. It might be a one-liner conversation or a lengthy dialogue, but you will discuss it. Make sure the two of you at least come to a mutual understanding of what the other wants.
14. Ka-ching!
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You want a new couch, your spouse wants a new TV. Finances are one of the major reasons why newlyweds fight during their first year. Discuss it properly and come to a reasonable solution. And after it’s all done and settled, saying “I love you” doesn’t cost a thing to your bank account.
15. Sweetie, I got you a gift…
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So you got a new pair of sunglasses instead of a diamond bracelet. Or a gym membership but not the new PlayStation. No one is perfect! The first year of marriage is all about getting to know your partner better. So look for the clues and get close to that perfect gift, even if it’s just Tuesday!
16. Should we spice it up in bed?
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Is the sex feeling routine after the first few months? Need to spice it up a bit? It’s your first year of marriage. Test out each other’s likes and dislikes, and discuss them. Don’t stress yourselves out. Leave the emergency kicks for when there is a drought!
17. The loo
You will, during the course of the first year, realize you have become somewhat comfortable with your spouse’s bathroom schedules and noises. But maybe your partner isn’t yet, so keep the romance alive and don’t take it for granted so early! Remember the first time you were alone together and you had to go the loo. I don’t think it was, “Hey, I’ll brush while you pee!”
18. What’s for dinner?
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You’ve been married now for a few months, and all the great dishes that you have tried to master for your spouse have become monotonous. And all too often you keep wondering, what do I make now? Don’t worry about it. Think about what your spouse hasn’t eaten this past week and cook it, or if you can’t, order it and serve it with a kiss and a whole lot of love for a nice evening. Sometimes the cuisine doesn’t have to change, just the setting does.
19. Let’s make history repeat itself!
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You always want everything to be as out of this world as your honeymoon or the first morning the day after the wedding. Well, sometimes it will, and sometimes it won’t. So don’t worry if you think things are not going exactly the way you imagined it to be in the beginning – after all, marriage is about setting out for a long, long journey together.
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20. Holy cr*p! What did I get myself into?
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You will each ask yourselves this question at some point in time during your first year of marriage. Breathe! It’s just a fleeting moment. Just remember how you felt right before you took the roller coaster ride and how exhilarating it was once you jumped on! You may have thrown up at the end of it but you will look back, stand proud, and say I can’t believe I did that. You might be shivering and scared, but your spouse will always be there to hold you and you will feel like you’re in heaven again!
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