Every woman wants her future husband to be loving and understanding at the same time. We, the woman species, tend to develop expectations for every little thing in life, whether it is family, work, or relationships. When it comes to our life partner or our dear future husband, the expectations skyrocket from the depth of our hearts to the stars in the sky! This may be different for different women, but the basic life needs of a woman usually remain the same. Although it might seem like quite a task for men to figure out, as Sigmund Freud said, “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’” Some of these wants are predictable.
As for me, I want my future husband to just know few things without me having to tell him, even if it seems weird from some other woman’s perspective. My future husband is, after all, the chosen one who is going to be pestered by me his entire life, so he better know what he is in for!
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So, here is a list of 20 things I am embarrassed to share with my future husband, which I am putting across rather unabashedly!
1. I want a separate washroom
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Yes, it is true. I want to have my very own washroom. This is not only to avoid the daily question of “Are you going to use the washroom first or should I go ahead?” during the morning rush hour but also because I like to take my own time when it comes to taking a shower/bath. Along with the long hours I take on weekends for a luxury bath, this is a definite must-have. Also, I carry out a lot of contemplations, speculations, and introspections during my bath hour and I do not want it to be disturbed by my husband’s nature call!
2. I need to be left alone to cry sometimes
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Even though I look like I am this strong, independent, go-getter girl on the outside, I am also this extremely emotional being on the inside, and there are times when I need to get it all out. At that point in time, no amount of consoling or caring helps me; so I prefer to be left alone to cry my heart out.
3. I don’t want you to complain about my cooking
I am a decent cook and usually delight in cooking for my loved ones. But sometimes, life becomes so hectic that putting effort into cooking becomes the last thing I want to do. It is during these times that I want my future husband to understand my predicament and be kind enough not to complain about the food not being tasty enough.
4. I want to be pampered during my period
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Like most women, I like to be pampered and you get brownie points if the majority of this pampering comes during my period. A woman goes through a plethora of changes both physically and psychologically during ‘that time of the month,’ and I would love it if you offer to give me a nice foot massage at the end of the day. And yes, some chocolates and taking me out for a little shopping will save you from my unpredictable mood swings and unprovoked tantrums!
5. I don’t want to live with my in-laws
There, I said it. I will honestly love and care for your parents and even your extended family, shower them with occasional presents, and even cook for them; but honestly, I do not want to live with them. I just want to build our life on our own terms and in our own space, make out with you at the slightest pretext, or even argue with you madly when I want to and I just won’t compromise on that. Sorry!
6. I want you to let me make the choices first
No matter how childish or sexist it may sound, I want you to ask me to choose first when it comes to anything at all. The fact that you respect me and care for me enough to ask me to do that first means a lot to me. So, even if it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to you, I will appreciate it if you check in with me first!
7. No comments on time taken to dress up, please
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I like to take my time to dress up and it takes me a while to decide what I am going to wear. Deciding amongst the countless clothing options (which are never enough) and also my various shades of lipsticks and eye shadows, and yes, deciding which pair of shoes match my dress is not very easy, mind you. So, my dear future husband, bear with me and kindly do not comment on the time it takes for me to get ready!
8. I would still like to cuddle with my mother sometimes
The place I want to be the most sometimes is in my mother’s arms, and this is something that is never going to change, trust me, not even when I have children. So, without being judgmental, let me be with my mom when I am just too tired of the world.
9. I want you to surprise me
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You know, a little surprise now and then, maybe a bouquet of flowers or a random plan for a long drive or a movie can work wonders for our relationship. Gentle reminder!
10. I don’t want you to give me diet advice
I know my body and I have been living with it for the last twenty-something years. I know which food is good and bad for me. So, when I am digging into my favorite dessert or a cheese-filled pizza, you better not give me diet advice. I look very endearing when I shake my head from side to side while I am eating my favorite food and you can just go ahead and enjoy that, nothing more.
Suggested read: A letter to my future husband – things I’d love for you to do
11. I want you to appreciate my kind of music
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Your kind of music might be a world apart from my kind of music, but I want you to at least appreciate my tastes as well. You may not know the intricacies of the composition or may not dwell on the deeper meanings of my favorite songs, but when I shake a leg listening to them, I want you to join in.
12. I don’t want you to read my old diaries
I will be immensely thankful to you, my future husband, if you don’t sneak into my old journals, or worse still, read the poems in them. Some things are meant to be private, and I hope you appreciate that, since I’ll be extending the same courtesy to you!
13. I want you to encourage me to pursue my hobbies
I might sound very lame and become upsettingly lifeless sometimes. It is during these times that I want you to push me to pursue my hobbies, to sing, dance, write, and travel the world like my old self.
14. I want you to love and respect my parents like I do yours
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Yes, I love my parents just as much as you love yours, and I hope that you will love my parents as much as I do. And no, I will not ask you to live with them. Peace.
15. I don’t want you to touch my things in my absence
Besides being a victim of OCD, I have this uncanny knack of keeping my things in place and it irritates me no end if someone happens to misplace or touch them. So, even if it is a benevolent act of folding and putting my clothes in the closet, I would like to do it on my own. Thank you!
16. I don’t want you to think that I am mad even when I am mad at things
My future husband needs to know this very well and not freak out. When I can’t take the world and the disgusting people in it anymore, I blurt out everything. I swear, I curse, I gossip, I complain, I whine, I moan, and I simply go mad throwing things around me. I want you to know that that is just a phase and I will get over it and things will go back to normal. That I just need to get it out of my system.
17. I don’t want you to discuss our issues and problems with others
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Whenever we have problems, and I am sure it will happen, the last thing that I would want you to do is to discuss it with other people. Whether it is friends or family, I would really like to keep things between us and sort out matters within ourselves instead of washing the dirty linen in public.
18. I want to bring up our children in our own way without disregarding each other’s values
Yes, I want the lovely children that we are going to have, to learn good qualities from both of us, and let’s do this in our own style, without ever opposing or disregarding each other’s values or opinions.
19. I want to have my me-time with my girls occasionally
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Every now and then, I will want to go shopping or dining or even for a little vacation with my girlfriends. You are also very much welcome to watch a game or a movie or have a boys’ night with your friends when you want. Sounds fair, yes?
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20. Please tell me when I am wrong and reason with me
Above all, I would like you to be honest with me and tell me when I am wrong and tell me when I sound ridiculously unreasonable. You can certainly agree to disagree with me whenever you think it’s right.
As difficult as it seems to be, we women aren’t that mysterious after all. Most of the time, we do know what we want – yes, most of the time! We are equally lovable and livable, and I am sure many women will relate to the above points and the reasons I made them. Also, I am pretty sure that the love of my life is waiting for me somewhere in the vastness of this universe and thinking the same – we will find each other, and of course, with our baggage and our expectations. So I sincerely hope that my future husband is reading this and smiling to himself and silently whispering, “As you wish, my future wife.” 😉
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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