It’s awful luck that most dates start with foods, which make you feel overstuffed and unsexy, and then end with sex! Moreover, if you have eaten right before diving between the sheets, you are in for some serious bloating!
“So do we not eat on a date, or not have sex thereafter?!”
No, no, that is not what we are suggesting here. You can eat as much as you want on a date (because that’s what dates are for anyway!), and enjoy sex too. But, just beware of the foods to avoid before sex.
Suggested read: 10 aphrodisiac foods for a passion-filled night
“Lay off the foods which trigger digestive tissues. This can be a havoc-wrecking problem if one has a sensitive stomach or suffers from anxiety, especially date-related. These anxieties can magnify digestive issues,” says Dr William Chey, M.D., a professor at the Michigan University, and also mentor to the International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders.
Foods to avoid on a brunch date
1. Bagels
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Bagels are the densest breads available. Most people have a tough time digesting the wheat, irrespective of gluten allergies. Now if you smother that with a two-centimetre high filling of cream and cheese, mark my words, you will feel full forever. Your body will have to wrestle the hefty portion of protein and fat; these nutrients take longer to get digested than carbs!
Instead, order: Toast. Since our goal is to digest as quickly as possible, go easy on the spread. Just a tablespoon of cream-cheese is more than enough, especially, if you are extra-sensitive to dairy products.
2. Sausage and bacon
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Both sausage and bacon are greasy AF! Dr. Chey says, “Greasy breakfast meats pose the greatest heartburn and GI distress.”
Instead, order: Egg whites, or even scrambled eggs. Make sure they aren’t super greasy, or else it will make you feel gross.
3. Espresso
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Now this depends on the amount of caffeine you normally consume, and your capacity to process it. Strong coffee beverages can increase your anxiety and nervousness level, and trigger stomach conditions like diarrhoea. You don’t need that when you are trying to get cosy with your partner, do you?!
Instead, order: Tea, because it has less caffeine than your Starbucks! So say goodbye to jitters with a cup of hot tea.
Foods to avoid on a dinner date:
4. Red meat
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Red meat triggers gas (foul awful smelling gas!), says Dr. Chey. He further explains, “Gas associated with red meat is more odorous because of chemicals it produces in the colon.” When you over-indulge in protein, it goes straight for fermentation to the colon, and creates offensive spinoffs.
Instead, order: Chicken or better fish, since these are less dense making them easier to digest.
5. Broccoli and Brussels sprouts
These vegetables are a helium of produce! They are green but gaseous. So it is better to dodge them.
Instead, order: Greens are dangerous when it comes to the amount of gas they produce! But options that are a little safer are cucumbers, salad greens and mushrooms. You can go for bell peppers too.
6. Coleslaw
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While cabbages give coleslaw the much-adored crunch, it is bad news when it comes to what it does in the gut. Once cabbage reaches your stomach, it ferments causing, what seems like, a gallon of gas. The mayo in the dressing can make matters worse, by making you feel more bloated.
Instead, order: Green salad dressed with oil and vinegar instead of mayonnaise. This way, you will get your leafy supper without the annoying side effects.
7. French Fries
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It is not the potato that’s the troublemaker, but the oil in which they are fried! Fat takes some time to exit the stomach, making you feel uncomfortable and stuffed, even after hours. This makes it one of the foods to avoid before sex.
Instead, order: Baked potato or jacket potato with just a dab of cheese.
Foods to avoid when on a date at a Mexican restaurant:
8. Nachos
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The corn that is used to make the tortilla chips is not harmful, but the problem with nachos is that they are fully loaded! They contain beans that are made of indigestible sugars called galactans. This makes nachos a member of the gas-producing foods like red meat, sour cream, cheese etc. These bloat you if you are lactose-sensitive. Dr. Chey warns that the onions and garlic in the salsa sneakily cause gas, making them a digestive hazard!
Instead, order: Plain tortilla chips. D. Chey explains, “Corn bran is not fermentable. The corn fibre that you cannot digest goes through your system without producing any gas.”
9. Burritos
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Burritos are good because: one, they are yummmmmm, and two, they can get you out of a date! But if you are actually enjoying the date and the possibility that you both may end up in bed in a few hours/minutes/seconds, it is the worst idea!
The wheat wrap is stuffed with bean filling, cheese, fajita onions… and the list goes on. All the food is sure to make you feel ballooned!
Instead, order: Tacos, to the rescue! Your safest bet would be a chicken-topped tortilla coz,
- Corn is better than wheat for your stomach
- Chicken is easier to digest than red meat
- Small tacos holds less in them than burrito wraps
Suggested read: 15 cancer causing foods you need to avoid – NOW!
Foods to avoid when on a date at a Mexican restaurant:
10. Pizza
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Pizza dough is made of wheat, which triggers bloating in most people. The cheese doesn’t help either when one is lactose intolerant.
When your slice drips with grease, it is a red flag that you are going to feel worse for longer. Dietary fat stops gas from emptying your system, making you really uncomfortable.
Instead, order: A plate of pasta dressed lightly in red sauce! Keep the cheese to a bare minimum.
11. Garlic Knots
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I don’t think you want your mouth to stink when he or she comes closer to you, do you?!
Instead, order: Plain Italian bread. It comes in a breadbasket, and is a much better pick!
12. Cream Sauce
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Cream sauce contains heavy fats, which takes helluva lot of time to digest. So if you are planning to chill in a more horizontal position, I don’t think you should go for it! Cream upsets your stomach. Especially if you are sensitive to dairy products.
Instead, order: Red sauce. Steer clear of any dish which is super garlicky or spicy since these cause uncomfortable heartburns.
Foods to avoid on a movie date
13. Gummies
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“Depending on what’s living inside your gut and your body’s capacity for digestion, gummies can be a complete disaster — especially sugar-free ones,” according to Dr. Chey. He goes on to say that regular gummies have fructose in them, which is difficult to absorb. Sugar-free gummies are sweetened using sorbitol, a sugar alcohol which we aren’t designed to absorb. It directly goes to the colon to be fermented. In the colon, the intestinal bacteria creates and shoots out gas like an exhaust pipe.
Instead, order: Unbuttered popcorn.
Foods to avoid on a Netflix-and-chill date
14. Gum
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I understand that you want to keep your mouth sensationally fresh and minty, but I think sex is more important to you than that! Sugar-free gums, especially have sorbitol in it, like I said before. Believe it or not, sorbitol when not served in beer-form is the best laxative!
Instead, try: Brushing your teeth!!! Or you can carry a small mouthwash pack in your bag or whatever! If all this doesn’t turn out helpful, order a mint tea.
15. Pretzels
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It is very difficult to pin-point the reason why pretzels always find their way into a list of foods to avoid before sex, but according to Dr. Chey, the wheat in the dough is the source of this complaint against these delicious babies!
Instead, order: Baked potato with some rice or a corn-based snack. If you are prone to acidity, a pretzel is the worst thing you can bite on a date night! They aren’t easy to digest, and your intestines are going to curse you for the same!
16. Hummus
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This is a healthy dip, yes, and unlike ranch dressings or sour cream, hummus is made from legumes and olive oil, which contain protein and healthy fats. But, legumes are a terrible idea if you are trying to score after the date!
Instead, order: A Greek yogurt-based dip, one that is free of beans and legumes. Also, avoid lactose-based dips.
Foods to avoid on a just-drinks date
17. Beer
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When those beer bubbles go into your stomach, what comes out is embarrassment in the form of burps and farts and an uncomfy belly bloat!
Instead, order: Wine (Wine is the answer, no matter the question!)
18. Vodka or Gin and Tonic
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Carbonated drinks cause gas since they are themselves full of it. For the umpteenth time, people!
Instead, order: A liquor on the rocks (pace yourself well, if you are a mixer-fanatic!).
19. Margarita with a straw!
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Whether it is with lime juice or just a margarita mix, it has added sugars, plenty of it! These are scandalously difficult to digest! The same logic extends to super-sweet drinks or fruit juices!
Instead, order: A tequila shot, or wine (duh!). Naturally occurring sugars don’t hurt.
Suggested read: Top 15 cancer fighting foods you need to add to your grocery basket – Today!
Foods to avoid on a dessert date
20. Sugar-free ice cream
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We have already discussed the obvious problem of consuming lactose, but sugar-free dairy products further contain artificial sweetener like manitol, and that can have the same effects as sorbitol: It acts as a laxative!
Instead, order: Low-fat ice-cream or maybe a cup of frozen yogurt. It doesn’t contain fake stuff like manitol or sorbitol, and so prevents from bloating up!
That’s a wrap from us! Oh, don’t order a wrap when you want to ‘go all the way’! 😉
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