Relationships are very intricate and when one is unhappy in a relationship, they cannot understand what’s causing it. Though their subconscious is aware of it the entire time, people tend to shove it in a dark corner, and try to ‘compromise’ (the killer word) for the greater good. The primary reason why one settles in an unhappy relationship is because they are too scared of the unknown. What happens when I do tell them how I feel? How will they react? What will happen when they leave me? Won’t I be extremely lonely and guilty for having done this to them? All these thoughts make us feel horrible, and we conclude that we are in a more comfortable place now than we will be if we confront the demon! That’s a terrible deduction!
Suggested read: A step-by-step guide to changing an unhappy marriage to a happy one
Our suggestion: Read the following 18 signs of a discontented relationship and decide if you want to remain miserable or take a leap of faith for a better tomorrow. The choice is yours.
1. “There are people who are in a relationship that’s worse than mine.”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
This is, undoubtedly, the first sign of an unhappy relationship; when you know that you are displeased but are constantly trying to convince the relentless voice within, that everything is alright; that some people have it worse. Stop doing that. Try to analyse why you are feeling like that all the time. Try to reason and then come to a conclusion instead of comparing your relationship with that of others!
2. “Yes, my relationship may not be the best, but it is good enough for me.”
So, you are with your significant other only because they are with you? They have decided to never leave you, to stick around with you, and that, for you, is reason enough to sustain a relationship, even though that entails an entire lifetime of discontent and unhappiness? Sign number two, right there!
3. “It will work out in the end.”
So, you know you are unhappy, and still, there is nothing that you are doing to fix the relationship. Both you and your S.O. are drifting away from each other slowly, but you satisfy yourself with a, “I have seen unhappier relationships working out (read: dragging on), so of course, ours will work out too… at the end of the day!”
4. “I am certain my lover will change his/her ways someday.”
Image source: Shutterstock
I just have some questions here. If your companion is unwilling to change their ways today, what makes you think that the inevitable will happen eventually? Why are you agreeing to put up with a person who is making no efforts, whatsoever, to improve your relationship? Why are you still holding on to someone who treats you discourteously? Someone who takes you for granted? Why don’t you move on, when you know that you deserve a much contented life, with a person who will compliment you far better than your current mate? Why?
5. “My day will come.”
So, you are with your S.O. only until someone better comes your way? If you are spending your time hoping against hope that you will ultimately run into your ‘real’ partner someday and until then, are okay with weathering this storm and putting up with an unhealthy relationship, you definitely are in an unhappy relationship. Remember, doing this is both disastrous for you and your partner. End it today.
6. “This is not a big deal.”
Well, my dear, you are highly mistaken. This is a big deal, and though, you think you can cope with it, that is not the point. The big question here is why are you choosing to ‘manage’ the relationship? That directly points out at the fact that you are not happy in the first place. Let me tell you one thing here, life is too short to ‘deal with’ unhappiness and melancholy, and that too for a lost cause! Make amends today.
7. “I cannot do this to him/her.”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
You are feeling guilty! You feel awful for even the thoughts that involuntarily crop up in your head about leaving your partner. Of course, you feel sad for them, and hurting them is the last thing you would want to do. So, instead, you start ignoring them. You avoid any intense conversations with them and resort to small talks. Now, is this a really benevolent choice? Don’t you think these silences will hurt more in the days to come than you moving away from them physically, because emotionally, you are already miles away!
8. “I just have to give it some time.”
And just how many days, months, or years are you prepared to wait? Time might cover wounds, but contrary to the popular cliché, it does not heal everything. Communication is what has the power to make good, especially, when it comes to relationships. If there is something you want to set right, you must tell them to your lover. You have to make them aware of how you are feeling and try and find a solution together.
Suggested read: Because I fell in love with you… and fell out of it too
9. “We are too used to one another now.”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Most couples use this as a primary excuse to stomach unhappy relationships. “I am so used to feeling this way when I am with him/her that, being happy doesn’t sound like a necessary thing anymore!” Basically, you think that you are cursed into this relationship and that you have no choice other than wallowing in it. Note: You are NOT!
10. “I am scared of being alone.”
There are too many what ifs haunting you and discouraging you from making a move. What if I don’t find anyone else after my breakup? What if my life becomes a living example of the proverb, ‘from the frying pan and into the fire’? Forget about all these questions and instead focus on this: “How unhappy am I in this relationship? Is being alone a better option than feeling lonely in someone’s company?” You will get your answer right there!
11. “But the sex is so good.”
Okay, but the relationship sucks, right? In a long term relationship, emotional compatibility features high up on your list of priorities, and if that is lacking, the both of you need to talk.
12. “What about our kids or commitments?”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Here’s where most parents make the biggest mistake. Your children are not as naïve as you would like to believe they are. They understand everything that’s happening between the two of you. And trust me, they are being affected by the negativity that surrounds the bond that you and your spouse share, which is much worse than what will happen if you consider a split.
13. “But I am committed to this person.”
Okay, you took a plunge and now have got cold feet. So, realization has finally hit you but you want to delay the inevitable, because confrontation is just so hard. But you know what? With each passing day, you are making the issue unsolvable.
14. “Isn’t a relationship all about finding the middle ground?”
I am sure you have already realized that in a relationship that isn’t working, compromise has a very negative connotation. It is a misnomer because in this case, you are the only one who is nipping your dreams and aspirations in the bud, to fuel this relationship. Now, that is unhealthy.
5. “I am monetarily at the mercy of my partner.”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Well, this is tricky. But don’t you think it is unethical too; the fact that you are using your S.O. for your own self-centred means? If you guys are not in love anymore, you must make it clear, sort out your financial issues, and leave. And for the next emergency, please keep some money saved!
16. “It will be heart-breaking for me to see the other with someone else.”
If this is the only reason why you are still with someone, it is high time you grow up. It is evident that you are madly in love with them and yet they treat you so badly. Where do you see this going in ten years from today?
17. “But there are times when they are so fun to be with.”
Okay, you can give them that. But how do they behave when you are struggling through a bad day or week or month? In a relationship, one has to embrace the other ‘wholly’ and not in parts. You need to accept the intimacy, the laughter, and also the stress and the anxieties!
Suggested read: 10 unhealthy relationship patterns that will destroy your marriage
18. “I will learn how to trust my S.O.”
Image source: Shutterstock
If your S.O. has given you reason enough to distrust them, and you are still clinging on to the belief that this will change, prepare to get cheated in a very bad way! It is either that or moving on towards a better tomorrow!
Many a time, two perfect people come together soon to drift apart because there is so much more to love than mere perfection. If you can relate to all the 18 signs, you are definitely unhappy in relationship, and must talk to your partner about it.
Featured image source: Pinterest
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
