Blood, Blood Everywhere: 18 Reasons Getting Your Period Is An Absolute Nightmare

by Shilpa Kulkarni · March 1, 2016

Remember that day when you thought you were going to die because you started peeing blood and then your mom told you that it’s going to happen every month? It was like your worst nightmare coming true! To top it all, the *bloody* thing was called period. When you could hardly imagine this recurring nightmare to have a period. Ironic much? Well, you know…

Then, you grew up and realized every period was a new nightmare!

Here are a few reasons that will resonate with you if you detest your period as much as I do…I know, I know, it is a healthy sign of womanhood and all, but couldn’t it be like a snot or puke or fart? Anyway..

period nicknames

Image source: Tumblr

1. THE cramps! It feels like a slave workshop in there, little people hammering your insides and wringing every muscle in your body. You try to take a pill to put them to sleep but they are up and squeezing the life out of you within no time.

2. Emotions, can you ever have enough of them? No! And they all decide to parade themselves right on period day. Catching yourself cry, laugh, get angry all within a span of a TV commercial leaves you thoroughly exhausted.

3. Sound sleep, it’s an enigma on those period days. The pain, the icky feeling, if all that did allow you to sleep then you wake up in your own pool of blood! Because this is SPARTA!!

4. The constant trips to the loo. When you are drained from the constant pooping and/or changing your pad, you cook up new excuses to bail out of work!!

5. When Aunt Flo visits, those dark period clothes come out, because you just cannot afford to walk out looking pretty in that white dress, can you? Your period hates it when you look pretty. X(

period nicknames

Image source: Giphy

6. It’s summer all the year round downtown and there is nothing you can do! Ugh- sticky, icky, bloody- damn you!

7. And if you just decide that there is an alternative to the plastic pad, you are presented with spongy cloth cylinders! How are they any better, shoving it up like that and always worrying that your body decides to gobble it up or ‘let it go’ with your pee? :-/

8. Despite all this, your sex hormones are at their peak and you are horny but your boyfriend can’t even like listen to you about sex, forget doing it! He would probably believe he pulled out a part of you, if he sent up his general in during wartime!

9. Self pleasure is an option but all that gooey mess and the blood, ugh- you might prefer just tiding over the horniness!

10. Swimming! They say you can swim on your period but who wants to take a chance at a pool party or a beach vacation right? Your period hates that you can have any fun on any vacation, EVER! Bloody b*tch!

period nicknames

Image source: FXoriginals

11. The whale in Moby Dick, you start to feel like that. A huge mass just waddling around on the bed, like a beached whale waiting for the tide to come and push you back in.

12. Grocery shopping gets more expensive and ruins clean eating AF! You dash through the healthy eats aisle and just dump all the cookies, ice cream, chips in your shopping basket and ruin every fitness plan you were nailing right before. WHY- because periods ruin everything!

13. God forbid you sneeze or make any involuntary action, because the floodgates open and you feel the rush of blood. And you pray, for your pad to withstand the onslaught. Please, pretty please.

14. Don’t even get me started about the boobs- the calm breeze can feel like wrath of a hurricane! The soreness is so bad that you not only wish you didn’t have a uterus but also boobs!

15. How about the awful time when you don’t have anything to change? Not a tampon or a pad in sight. Where have you all disappeared?!

periods

Image source: Tumblr

16. Cleaning up never got easy, did it? All those years of practice, but still the sight of blood oozing out with clots and all just makes you queasy! When will it stop? 45 is too bad and too late an age to wait for the bloody mess to be over! ☹

17. Aha! It’s finally done, good bye period! Pretty panty time! 😀 Go to pee, oh no!! Your uterus decides to give you a parting shot, a nice little red spot on your pink lace sex panty. RUINED!

18. The worst thing? Right from your boyfriend to that girl who never gets a cramp, who doesn’t understand “What’s the big deal about a period?” Shut Up! I don’t want to see you anymore.

Getting your period is HORRIBLE. Period.

Featured image source: look

Summary