Have you ever been ignored by someone you like? Despite knowing that your feelings aren’t reciprocated, do you find yourself thinking about them? You just can’t seem to put them out of your head. Feels like they’re stuck in your head like an old tape that just won’t go back or move forward. However, you need to figure out a way to stop thinking about them and move on, because there’s just no point in pining away after someone who can’t or won’t reciprocate your feelings.
There may be several reasons for you to learn how to stop thinking about someone you like, but the how and what are pretty similar. Here are a few easy tips on how to stop thinking about someone who doesn’t feel the same about you.
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1. Mind over matter.
What do you really want to do? Get over the person who didn’t feel the same way about you, or pine away in memory of them? Make up your mind as to what you want out of your life, and go after it. A bit of clarity at the right time can do wonders for you and your life. You just need to keep your heart, your mind, and yourself open to seeing the situation for what it is.
2. Get closure.
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Ignoring what happened or avoiding thinking about it altogether is insulting to you and your feelings. If you do either of these, then you’re belittling your own feelings. What you must do instead, is to acknowledge what happened and spend a bit of time to grieve its (premature) death. Once you’ve let out all the hurt and despair you want over the episode, let it go and move on.
3. Don’t try to forget them, accept what happened.
This is an extension of the previous point. There’s no use pretending that you don’t miss that person, or even trying to forget they don’t exist at all. Instead, focus on finding what works you in not letting it bother you. Acceptance of what happened will let you move on that much faster.
4. Create a distraction.
If you can’t seem to stop thinking about that person, what you can do is find another person or a thing to obsess over. Distract yourself from them by start thinking about someone or something else. It’s one of the best ways to stop thinking about that person.
5. Follow the no contact rule religiously.
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Make up your mind about not trying to find ways to contact them or imagining scenarios where you bump into them, followed by happy reunions. These are best left for your overactive imagination when you’re writing fiction. Reality doesn’t always pan out this way, nor should you try to contact them after what happened. There’s just no point, really. You’ll just end up getting hurt all over again. Instead of devising ways to contact them, accept the fact that there’s just no point in rehashing the same things over and over again. Let it go and move on.
6. Don’t resort to stalking them, online or offline.
This is an extension of the previous point, really. While social networks make it easy to stalk exes and friends and frenemies, don’t give in to the urge. ‘Just this once,’ your mind might whisper, but don’t. It’ll just put you down again, looking at their pictures – doesn’t matter if they’re having a blast or feeling down just like you. Don’t do it; you’ll never move on if you keep yourself up to date about what’s happening in their life at all points in time.
7. Think of all their negative traits.
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One of the best ways to stop thinking about someone you like is to focus all your energies on their negative traits. It’s time to pull them down from the pedestal you’d placed them on. This exercise will make you realize that they are as human and therefore flawed, as you and I, and that they are not as ‘perfect’ as you made them out in your head. That’ll surely put you off of them, eh?
8. Don’t be debby downer.
It’s easy to dig a pit of self-pity and wallow in it, endlessly. However, you need to make the conscious choice of not pining away for someone who didn’t value you enough or couldn’t see what an amazing person you are. Have a laugh, enjoy yourself, and if you need to watch funny cat videos online to accomplish that, then so be it. Whatever it takes to pull yourself out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself, just do it.
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9. Keep yourself occupied.
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It’s not for nothing that it’s said, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Don’t let yourself be idle; instead, keep yourself busy by indulging in your favorite hobbies and pastimes. Even if you have to force yourself to do them, do it. It’ll be worth it when you’ve crossed this hurdle successfully. Whether it’s going to the gym to work out, or playing your guitar, keep yourself occupied.
10. Respect yourself.
A low self-esteem and a lack of respect for yourself are common after someone doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. However, snap out of it and see the situation for what it is. You need to respect yourself enough to not humiliate yourself by obsessing over them endlessly, or worse, begging them to reconsider, when they’re clear about their feelings. Don’t sell yourself short; you’re better than that.
11. Learn something new.
Learning something new, or experiencing something exciting will always give a boost to your self-confidence. Whether it’s joining a dance class, or learning a new sport, go for it. It’ll make you feel good about yourself, and you’ll be learning something new and exciting. Win-win, right?
12. Don’t be too critical of yourself.
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When you’re fresh out of rejection (sort of), it’s easy to give in to the urge to tear yourself apart, bit by bit, shredding your fragile self-esteem further. Don’t try to pick all the ‘flaws’ in yourself, or find reasons for their rejection. Sometimes, it might not even have anything to with you. So don’t let yourself indulge in this futile exercise.
13. Avoid romance movies – like the plague!
Yes, romantic movies, rom-coms, or any love stories should be avoided like the plague. Throw in love songs, dating shows, or TV shows with too much mush in them, to this pile of toxic junk. Don’t be a sadist and torture yourself with an overload of mush. Watch fun movies, or movies where single people have fun, instead. That’s gotta uplift your mood!
14. Go on a vacation.
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Whether it’s a solo trip or a trip with friends, plan a trip to a new place, pack your bags, and get going. Sometimes, all you need is a vacation to unwind, relax, and clear your mind of all the clutter. Focus on experiencing new things, soaking in all that a new place has to offer, and enjoy yourself to the core.
15. Accept the fact that they didn’t want you in their life.
Remind yourself of the fact that they didn’t want you in their life, and that it’s their loss! You are an amazing person, and that you deserve someone better, who values you and what you can offer another person. Accept that they were the ones who missed out on having an amazing person like you in their life, and let them and the bad event go.
16. Don’t talk about them with anyone.
It’s easy to fall prey to memories or the castles and dreams that you built in the air when you like someone. However, do not indulge in rehashing the same things over and over again with your sympathetic friends. Do not resort to badmouthing them or spreading rumors about them. That’s just beneath you and your high standards of deportment. Brush it off like the piece of lint that it is – useless and that which doesn’t affect you in the larger scheme of things.
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17. Remember that this too shall pass.
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Yes, as clichéd and hackneyed as this sounds, it’s true. There’s no magic bullet that makes you forget that bad episode in your life. Accept that it happened, that it could change in you subtle ways, that it will shape you into the person you will become, and move on. You may not stop liking them overnight, but this is a big stepping stone towards a future where you’ll remember the whole episode with wistfulness rather than sadness and despair. All it needs is your strength.
These tips on how to stop thinking about someone you like will surely help you let them go and move on. You just need to follow them and practice them religiously. You can do it, buddy; yes, you can.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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