17 Stages Of Getting Ready When You Are Lazy

by Srija Banerjee · November 4, 2015

I don’t know why nights end. And even if they do, I do not know why morning calls for leaving the cozy bed. I would give anything to stay in bed all day and all night long. And I know many of you would too. Hey, lazy bums- if you are one of the gang, you will SO relate to this morning routine of getting ready:

1. Alarm goes off

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The alarm shouts in your face like an exam invigilator who has caught you cheating and no matter what you say, it will not stop till you get up and apologize.

2. Snooze

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Literally begging the exam invigilator to give you those 5 extra minutes so you could just write two more sentences as if those 5 minutes will make all the difference between life and death.

3. Procrastinating

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Trying to cancel if it’s a date, thinking of excuses you can get away with if it’s work and to top it all- weighing how much damage getting late would do, no matter whether it’s a date or work.

4. Alarm goes off again

And this time it’s like that dog in your neighbourhood that will not rest until it bites your head off. Time to make a run for it.

5. Brushing the teeth

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Perhaps, the laziest activity of’em all where your teeth begin to poke your toothbrush so as to give you signals of moving it faster and better- so they can be clean!

6. Shaving/ tweezing/ waxing

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Ouch- you swear now you are only going to wear full-sleeve shorts and trousers from now on. Mental note to put that on the next shopping checklist! Ouch- damn you tweezing!

7. Showering

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Ohh- this is like the rain. No matter how fresh and good it feels against your skin- you just want to save your drowsy eyes from being drenched and get out!

8. Drying your hair

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This one is easy. Just imagine a tornado except this one is raging right on top of your head. The more violent it gets the sooner it will pass!

9. Picking out clothes!

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This is the hardest thing because you have to stick with this decision for the rest of the day, it’s almost like choosing who you marry. Okay not exactly- but one wrong decision and you will have some untoward part of you peeping out to say hi in an office meeting!

10. Ironing the clothes

Coz straightening things out is a must- umm, in life too!

11. Putting on clothes

Well, this isn’t what you had in mind- but well, this is the best it’s gonna get anyway! So wth- you don’t have the energy for the drill again.

Suggested read: 10 problems all women with small b**bs face

12. Matching shoes/ bags/ watch

Impossible to find the ‘perfect’ ones to go- so throw on whatever is nearest!

13. Doing your hair

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This one needs attention- much like making a bouquet of flowers. Each stem needs attention, if one stalk is out of line the whole arrangement will look messed up and you will have to start from the top!

14. Doing your makeup

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If only you looked half as good without it, you wouldn’t have to bother!

15. Collecting your things (laptop/phone/documents)

Imagine prepping for a hunt- unless you have all the things necessary to overcome your enemy, all your effort goes down the drain! So reach out for that spear and that torch (read presentation file and car keys)… you will need them.

16. The final assessment