15 Things To Know When Dating A Shy Girl

by Aishani Laha · September 24, 2015

Most people seem to think that shyness is synonymous with being an introvert. In reality, nothing could be farther from the truth. There are deep psychological implications of being an introvert as well as a shy person, but in layman’s terms, an introvert is someone who loves being alone to the extent that they derive pleasure and energy from engaging in solitary activities. A shy person, on the other hand, does not particularly hate the company of others, but just finds it difficult to meet new people, and talk to them. Basically, a shy person is afraid of social interaction so they avoid it, whereas an introvert wants to avoid social contact out of their own free will.

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To further understand shy girls, here are some of their characteristic features. These are helpful to understand when you are dating a shy girl, so you know that they aren’t mad, arrogant, or something else along those lines.

Shy people are usually:

Independent and ambitious
Kind and polite
Hardworking
Defenseless and meek in certain circumstances
Quiet and reticent
Have low self-esteem
Calm and complacent

These are some very general character traits that a shy person may tend to show, although it differs from person to person. However, dating a shy girl can become a little bit of a problem because you may find it difficult to understand them in certain situations. Here are 15 things that you must know when you are dating a shy girl.

1. No, she is not mad at you

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As mentioned above, shy girls are quiet and reticent. This means that they have difficulty openly expressing themselves. If you are dating a shy girl and she becomes quiet, it is imperative that you prevent yourself from asking her whether she is mad or not every 5 minutes because she is not mad. In fact, she is going to become mad, or overwhelmed rather, if you keep asking her such repetitive questions.

2. Just because she is shy does not mean that she is arrogant

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This is another misconception that is associated with shy girls. If people don’t think that she is mad when she is not talking, then they feel that she is being arrogant and condescending towards other people. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The truth is, they are actually polite and loving creatures and it just takes them some time to open up to new people. That doesn’t make them hostile or rude.

3. She needs her alone time

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This is dating etiquette 101, but this is especially important to note when you are dating a shy girl. They can be extremely wary of meeting new people. On top of that, if you try to impress them by asking endless questions or being overly flirtatious with them, it is going to have the exact opposite effect. You have to give them space to read, go out alone, or even to think on their own. Gradually, they will start to include you more and more in their personal lives.

4. She will probably need a lot of encouragement for little things

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The reason why most shy girls are shy is because they suffer from a major lack of confidence.When you are planning to date a shy girl, you have to make sure that you are very generous and giving with your compliments and adorations, because trust me, they will appreciate it. This does not mean that you make your compliments sound non-genuine and overwhelming, or worse, mocking. Even simple things like complimenting their cooking, their work, or their dress is more than enough to boost their confidence.

5. She is going to be the best listener ever

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One of the best things about dating a shy girl is that she is going to be the most compassionate, loving, and attentive listener you will ever find. No matter how much you want to rant, complain, boast, or whine, she is going to be at the receiving end of it. She will listen to you without complaint, because shy girls tend to speak less. They will hear you out, and then offer you a sound opinion.

6. You have to gain her trust

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Shy girls are not necessarily distrusting by nature, but because they have a hard time talking to people, they will inevitably have a hard time finding someone they can fully trust. If you are wondering how to date a shy girl, then the first step is to earn her trust, and you can do this by making her an integral part of your life and your decisions. The moment she sees that you value her contribution to your life, she is going to start trusting you.

7. You can never force her into changing her character

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Going from shy and meek to confident and outgoing is a long, steady, and patient process that cannot happen in a day. The worst thing that you could possibly do is make them the center of attention in a place full of strangers in an attempt to boost her confidence. That is nothing short of a nightmare for shy girls.

8. She is very independent

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If you think that just because your girl is shy and reticent that she is also weak and mild, think again. Because she is not used to confiding her feelings in a lot of people and taking help when it comes to the various hurdles in life, she is very independent and is used to doing things alone. You shouldn’t assume that she is dependent and weak, nor should you take offense when she demonstrates signs of inherent independence in every sphere of life.

9. She actually likes meeting people

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She may not be comfortable with the entire process of introductions and greeting, but she still enjoys getting to know new people. You will be surprised to find that once she gets comfortable with the company she is keeping, she might effortlessly merge into conversations because meeting new people to her is as exciting as it is to any other socially active person. But you have to keep in mind not to make her the center of attention, because she’d hate it.

10. You have to go easy on the jokes

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You might be a hilarious son-of-a-gun, but you have to keep in mind that shy people can become quite sensitive when it comes to making jokes. As long as you are staying objective it is perfectly fine, but it is best if you keep your personal digs, offensive jokes, and mockery saved for your boy-gang. Unless you choose your words very carefully, she might get hurt or upset.

11. It is going to take some time to really get to know her

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You might feel exasperated, tired, helpless, and frustrated when she seems to know everything about you, yet you know so little of her. You have to understand that getting to know her is not going to be an easy task, and you have to try your level best to keep her at ease. She will take time to speak her mind and her heart, and only then will you truly get to know her.

12. She is excessively loving and selfless

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One of the best things about dating a shy girl is that she is excessively loving, caring, and most importantly, selfless. Again, this stems from their fear of social interactions, and because they do not feel comfortable interacting with others, they are constantly intrigued with what others have to say. This makes them selfless, because they never crave the spotlight.

13. Eye contact might become a legitimate problem

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You may see that when you try to make eye contact with a shy girl for a prolonged period of time, she will turn or look away after some time. There is ample scope for misinterpretation here, but you have to understand that this is not because they don’t find you interesting or engaging. This is purely because they are intimidated by the smallest of things, and so it is important not to scream at them for such behavior. They will eventually get there. They always do.

14. She will feel invisible most of the time

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Dating a shy girl is a lot about showing them how much they are loved, how the things they say actually make sense, and how their opinion matters to you, no matter what. Therefore, in order to accomplish all this, you have to listen to her with the utmost attention, so that she doesn’t start to feel invisible. In the most unlikely of conversations, they may reveal some things about themselves, which as you must understand by now, something they are not always willing to do.

15. She is full of surprises

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After reading through this list, you are probably very confused about dating a shy girl. However, one thing that should make all the effort worth it is the surprises that you will find your girlfriend giving you from time to time. The best thing about having a quiet and restrained person in your life is that when they finally lose control, or open up, or freak out, then you are in for the time of your life – you will find out something new about them every day!

At the end of the day, you will discover that when dating a shy girl, you are in for the ride of your life. Everything from the wooing process until the time you become each other’s best friend, they will keep surprising you and impressing you with their potential talent and characteristics, making them one of the best kinds of girlfriends to have!

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