A breakup can be really devastating; it can make you want to just jump into another relationship right away and that can prove to be the worst mistake of your life. It is completely normal to think that you are ready for a relationship when you aren’t at all, and to also dwell on the past relationship at the same time. If the relationship was serious, it will be even harder.
You may indulge in some self-pity and play the blame game, and might feel more sensitive to things in general. The tight hugs your friends give you prove to be of no use, and there is nothing that can comfort you any longer.
Suggested read: 8 things to do when you breakup
But wait! It is only a phase and it shall pass.
Jumping into another relationship is not the best thing to do.
Even if you think that you want to, here are a few warning signs that you need to look for before getting into a new relationship right after a breakup.
1. You are willing to just date anyone
Image source: Shutterstock
This is a red flag that you are not ready for a relationship yet. You talk briefly with a person at a bar, and you think that you want to be in a relationship with that person. No! Stop! You only need to enjoy what you are drinking and just keep to yourself. If you think you want to have a fling with that person, that’s different.
2. You don’t feel complete yet
Before you got into that relationship, you were a complete person who was happy individually. You need to get back to that state of mind before you actually jump into another relationship. If you don’t feel complete by yourself, you are not going to be able to complete anyone else. Also, you shouldn’t depend on someone else to make you feel complete.
3. You just want love, whether it’s conditional or unconditional
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
The best relationship advice you can ever receive is to not settle for conditional love. No one has the right to create conditions when it comes to loving you. If you are thinking you can make compromises for love at this point, it is not going to last very long. You are not ready for a relationship yet, and just wait it out until you are.
4. Your primary goal in life is to seek distraction
Image source: Shutterstock
After a bad breakup, your ultimate objective of existing becomes to constantly distract yourself and not to think about your ex. You are surrounding yourself with friends and a bunch of other things to do to keep yourself from breaking down unexpectedly. When you are over that phase, you can consider putting yourself out in the dating world again, and you shouldn’t use another person to fill the void in the meantime.
5. Your heart skips a beat every time there is a mention of your ex
Well, this is tricky. You know you are not ready for a relationship when you tear up, or your heart skips a beat every time someone mentions your ex. You are still thinking about them, and it is not nice to put someone else through that kind of baggage. It can be a traumatizing experience for you, and another person doesn’t deserve to deal with it.
6. You are not smiling at all
When nothing is making you smile that genuine smile that you have, you need to understand that you are not in the right space for a relationship. An unhappy person cannot really make anyone else happy, and you do not want to be one of those.
7. You are not willing to risk anything
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
The thought of another relationship is great, but you want to do it all on your terms. That doesn’t always work. You need to risk something to really get something out of a relationship. If you are in a place where you do not want to take a risk at all, then you need to keep away from relationships. It is not the best idea for you at the moment.
Suggested read: 20 simple steps to get your groove back after a breakup
8. You are not okay with being single
A relationship should be a want, not a need. If you identify yourself with the latter, then you need to hold your horses. Understand that you do not need a relationship, it is a perfect bonus to the already wonderful life that you have. That is when you are going to be ready. Not when you are simply longing for someone to love you and be with you.
9. You are scared of making mistakes
When you are dumped or a relationship goes wrong in any way, you might be a little bit scared of saying and doing a few things, perhaps even irrationally so. If you are feeling this way, it’s not a good idea to get into a relationship.
10. You are running away from your past
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
The favorite hangout places that you used to go to, the dishes you ate, the movies you watched together, and everything else you did with your ex may still be haunting you for a while after your breakup. You know that you are not going to be able to face all of this at the moment, and that is when you know that you are not ready for a relationship just yet. Wait for yourself to make peace with it, and then you can consider dating someone else.
11. You don’t know your interests anymore
Many intense relationships get the better of people. If you were in one of those, you barely know what you like and dislike. Everything is so tied to your ex that you end up forgetting what you wanted to do in the first place. After a breakup, you need to firstly understand what you really like and what you don’t in a romantic partner, and if you aren’t there yet, then you should not be in your next relationship just yet.
12. You are not comfortable in your own skin
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
This happens to the best of us. After a painful breakup, it is a little difficult to be comfortable in your own skin. Everything is about that other person and what they like and dislike about you. Until you are comfortable with who you are, and what you have turned out to be – you need to work on yourself and not really bother with a relationship.
13. You are trying to win the breakup
If your primary objective of getting into another relationship is to just beat your ex to it, then stop it right there. You might just win the breakup, but you are going to hate yourself for a very long time after. Also, most of these relationships rarely turn out well for anyone.
14. You are uncomfortable with your friends being all lovey-dovey around you
There is PDA all over the place. You were one of the people who would indulge in it all the time with your ex. Feeling a little out of place when there are people kissing at the same table as you is completely normal. But feeling sad because you do not have anyone to do these things with is not the best reason to jump into another relationship. Understand that you need the time to just make peace with it, and then you should be all set for your next love adventure.
15. You can’t say “Life is good” honestly
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
It is important for you to say that. Life is rather good, and you need to be able to say it and mean it. If you are still hurting, then you definitely need to make life good for yourself first. If there is a doubt in your head about the quality of life that you are leading, then you need to think again before really connecting it to someone else’s.
Suggested read: 12 signs it is time you got over your breakup
What we are basically trying to communicate to you is that it is only a phase and it is going to pass. Also, a new relationship is not only going to be about you, it is also going to be about another person who falls in love with you. Like you recover from an injury, you are going to recover from the breakup as well, all you need to do is to give it time and not make hasty decisions about your life when you haven’t fully recovered.
It is like going on a trek when you have a broken ankle – you’ll only make things worse.
Therefore, if you find yourself connecting to even 5 of these and you are just out of a breakup, you really need to give yourself some time to recover and ensure that you are at your best when you get into a relationship again. This time, you need to do it right for yourself and also for the person who you fall in love with. You do not want another devastating breakup and you do not want to feel like this again.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
