So, your relationship wagon reached breakup-ville. It is a solo journey from here, and there shall be a lot many junctions to hit before you get over your breakup and can reach ‘I am single and I am lovin’ it’ stage again! Most of them shall be anything between drunk junction, bitter town, cry-o-town to aLONE-ville until you reach Freedom city!! But the route is bumpy and you have to most definitely cross all the mile markers before you reach the ‘happy’ place again and figure out how to to ask a guy out again. So, if you have just parted ways with a lover and tell yourself ‘I’m so over it,’ here are the 15 signs you’re not over your ex:
1. You are still ‘thinking’ about him/her
You are definitely depressed and oh no, your antidepressant significant other is no longer your boyfriend! You’re flipping through channels and the commercial he cracked a rather lame joke at makes you pee your pants a little this time! You hated playing pool but you’re playing it so much these days, alongside hogging on chicken momos because your chicken-momo-eating, pool-loving boyfriend dumped you! You’re thinking of him when you eat, thinking of him when you drink, and thinking of him when you breathe – clearly, you haven’t quite boarded the train to Freedom city yet!
Suggested read: Hilarious stages everyone goes through after a breakup
2. You are posting the ‘heavy’ quotes on social media
You know the ‘heavy’ quotes, right? Hell yeah, you do!! You are posting those crappy and/or I-am-alright quotes on social media in hopes that he may know exactly how s***ty he’s making you feel or exactly how well you’re doing on the ‘moving on’ path (when you’re not) – clear sign that you’re still ‘into’ him!
3. Your drinking capacity has increased
Those few vodka tonics, tequila shots, and champagne flutes don’t quite work anymore. You have to down bottles because of the ‘pain-is-ripping-me-apart’ syndrome!
4. So have the drunken messages
Once the bottles have emptied, the texts start to flow effortlessly. And the string of these 3AM messages go somewhat like this:
1st: Heyy
2nd: I am sitting at <insert name of the pub you frequented together>
3rd: Wassup
4th: Why aren’t you replying?
5th: <angry emoticon>
6th: Ohh, I see … it is because I don’t mean as much anymore!
7th: Yeah, that’s right, I am right!
8th: Go on, tell me I am right, you gutless piece of s**t!
9th: You don’t have the b**ls, right?
10th: Good for me! And well, your loss, a**h**e!!
11th: After all, I cared for you with all my heart, loved you madly.
And an emotional string follows…
If this looks like anything that you’ve sent your ex after a drunken round of crying why he left, you’re going to regret the morning-after (and no, not the pill!! Switch off the dirty button for now!). Or maybe not, because you’re still in the initial stages of the ‘getting-over’ process and there’s some serious ground left to cover!
Tip: Try deleting his number and we’re hoping your memory shall fail you during drunken bouts!
5. You still have the ‘WE’ pictures
You haven’t found it in your heart to delete the pictures of the two of you together. If you still see them, read through the comments, take hours to find that small pen drive that had pictures of the one party that hadn’t quite gone up on social media and worse, send him one or more telling him that he had asked for these long back, you’ve taken a detour from the real road, girl. And a terribly misleading one at that!
6. You are keeping a tab on his/her social media activity
If you’re still checking their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and maybe, even Quora, you’ve got to pull yourself together. The cute girl who left an apparently ‘innocent-looking’ flirtatious message is not coming onto him – so stop stalking his account along with those of his sisters, cousins, friends, and colleagues to find the ‘non-existent’ clue of a budding romance! So, what if LinkedIn tells you he got a new job – looking up his new workplace employees for potential romantic rivals is not going to get him back with you! BLOCK HIM, now!
7. Your bff’s are still hearing about him/her
If you are ranting about him at brunch, lunch, dinner, and even bathroom breaks, chances are your ears are hearing an awful lot of ‘Girl, you need to get over him!’ or ‘Would you stop it already!’ from people who have been there for you – through the crap and the treat! So, if these gems are telling you to quit babbling about that buffoon, take the hint!
8. ‘Everything’ has the ‘Ex-factor’
Everything on the planet reminds you of him – from parks to museums to restaurants to pubs- you can’t single out a single thing that can make you come to terms with the reality of being ‘single’ again. And you tell yourself it is all a bad dream, it shall go away. Diagnosis- You have the ‘Ex-factor.’ And contrary to what one may say, this kind is not the good one!
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