As much sexpertise is available all around, we continue to bonk and bang without getting our facts straight. So much about ‘sex’ seems splattered in magazines, newspapers, on the internet and even the streets that people seem to think of themselves as having aced the subject and pass on their sexpert ‘gyan’ to others in animated, hush-hush conversations! The truth, however, is that much of this ‘gyan’ is misguided and there’s a helluva lot of universally trusted sex ‘myths’ masquerading as ‘matter-of-fact’ facts.
And we are here to deflate them, just like we busted myths about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs):
1. Size matters
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
If you belong to the group who insists on bringing out the measuring apparatus every time the intensity of your pleasure moans is in question, we have something to tell you – ‘FLUSH THAT THOUGHT RIGHT DOWN!’ Yes, people do tend to create a big hoo-haa over the length, girth, and how it affects their sexual satisfaction levels. But the truth is it is all in your mind. Research has shown that sexual satisfaction is more influenced by emotional intimacy and relationship harmony. Also, motion, rapport, and positions tend to be more directly proportional to the level of sexual satisfaction than size. There is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ when it comes to your ding dong, and while longer penises may be more suited for vaginal penetration, shorter penises are just right for oral. The bottom line is – size shall matter to you, only if you allow it to matter!
P.S. the size of your ‘thing’ has nothing to do with your shoe size, size of your hand or anything else for that matter! Grow up!
2. The withdrawal method is a foolproof birth control method
If you think that ‘condoms’ aren’t your thing, you’ll pull out before any of your swimmers get into her, you shall be surprised when she calls you and tells you she is running a week late on her periods. No, wait, don’t dart off in the direction of the next flight to Australia. You chose the worst possible form of birth control and now, you are pregnant. Yes, she may be carrying your bun but you are pregnant too. So, don’t let this happen to you (you even run the risk of contracting STDs) and use a condom! Practice safe sex!
3. Women can climax through vaginal penetration alone
Image source: Shutterstock
This is perhaps the most unfortunate of the sex myths which is going stronger than ever. Stubborn one! If sexual ecstasy was as easy as following the rules writ in the handbook that said ‘insert the USB cable’ into ‘Port V’ and hold it in there to stream and access the contents, life would have been so much better! But unfortunately, it isn’t. So, the next time you are about to send the ship into the port, remember it isn’t helping her. Vaginal penetration is simply not enough for women to climax and therefore, clitoral stimulation, oral sex or other kinds of stimulation are some pathways you can use to help her reach the destination.
4. Men can’t have multiple orgasms
Image source: Shutterstock
Yes, that’s right. While some men can experience multiple orgasms naturally, others can teach themselves to do it. Of course, repeated ejaculation might not come to those who can’t and hence, never will, but as far as riding the highest of those ecstasy waves is concerned, it can happen. Douglas Abram elaborates on the fine line between ejaculation and orgasm in The Multi-Orgasmic Man and helps readers learn skills that shall help attain multiple orgasms.
5. Men and women reach their sexual peaks at the same time
Of course, men have easier erections in their 20’s than at 60 and women tend to enjoy sex at a much later stage in life than men. There is no one age at which men and women are at the heights of their sexual prowess. If biology hadn’t really got this one clear, I do not know what will! The important thing to note here is that no matter what time men and women scale that Everest and reach the peak, sex can be ‘enjoyed’ at pretty much any age in life. As long as one is comfortable with the idea, does not engage in body-shaming, is confident about his/her own body, and is open to experimentation, sex can be extremely gratifying. Medical science notes that sexual desire is a highly fluctuating process and is related to a lot more factors than age alone.
6. Oral and Anal sex are safe alternatives
Image source: Shutterstock
It is a proven fact that all STDs that can be passed through unprotected vaginal penetration can be passed on through unprotected oral or anal sex too. Although the chances of contracting an STD from unprotected oral is much less than that associated with unprotected vaginal sex, unprotected anal is riskier than both vaginal and oral sex.
7. Sex during menstruation is not safe
This is one myth that has been hard to bust. Yes, it is safe to have sex when you’re menstruating, although it might get … messy. In fact it helps ease some of the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). The endorphins, the same chemicals released when you exercise, are released during an orgasm. These endorphins, which are natural painkillers and have mood-enhancing capabilities, also alleviate other PMS symptoms like cramps, headaches, irritability, and mild depression. One thing to be careful though is that practicing safe sex during menstruation is of utmost importance because the risks of STDs and other infections are higher than normal.
8. Douching/peeing after sex or sex in a hot tub will prevent pregnancy and/or STDs
Nothing shall avert the risk of contracting HIV/STDs or even pregnancy if you’re engaging in unprotected sex. And if we haven’t stressed it as much already, here’s it AGAIN – use a condom, be safe!
9. Great sex comes naturally
Image source: Shutterstock
I know, I know. Two people meet, sparks fly and when they take that chemistry to the bed, mind-blowing sex happens magically! Forget what the movies fed you. The ‘real’ truth is light years away from the ‘reel’ saga. What might have worked with a former partner might not please the one you’re bedding now. And there is no other way to know what will work other than experimenting with new techniques and positions and of course, communicating. I know those tidbits of conversations during the act can get a li’l awkward, but you both will love the result! You know ‘practice makes perfect,’ right? 😉
10. Men are always ready to hop in the sack
Image source: Shutterstock
Contrary to popular perception about men being ready to romp 24×7, men aren’t as willing to ‘play’ anytime, anywhere. They experience their own fluctuations in libido and their level of desire is influenced by a number of factors including diet, sleep pattern, health, stress, self-confidence, and relationship dynamics. Similarly, women too aren’t as averse to sex as one might believe. They love their guilty pleasures too and experience varying levels of desire, dependent in turn upon their hormonal fluctuations, health, diet, and stress conditions.
11. Women don’t like porn
Women enjoy porn too! There’s a market catering specifically to women who enjoy pornography and research shows that women respond as clearly to sexually explicit content as men. Women get wet as against the male organ getting pumped with blood and the muscles getting tensed. Therefore, ‘porn’ isn’t essentially a guy thing. The difference is only in the way both genders see and experience sex. While women tend to associate a lot of the carnal pleasure with the build-up that leads to it, men jerk off to the pleasures of straight-off fellatio, anal, and two girl-one guy threesomes! The problem occurs when the sexpectations are transferred from watching porn into reality!
12. Two condoms are better than one
Ohh, you self-proclaimed sexperts! The more, the better, huh?? Are you bargaining for some extra ‘hari mirch’ while buying ‘do kilo bhindi?’ (Not sure whether that would happen either! :P) Two condoms do not lend ‘doubled’ protection. In fact, the friction between the latex might cause them to tear or break, hence rendering them useless. Condoms are an effective tool of contraception and preventing STDs, provided they are used correctly.
13. Women do not have wet dreams
This one was busted way back in the 1980s. Climaxing in your sleep is not an exclusive male prerogative. Women have and enjoy erotic dreams which may lead them to orgasm in their sleep. Studies in the area suggest that 35-40% women experience wet dreams more than once or twice in six months. A lot of the frisky frolic experienced in these erotically-charged products of the subconscious, have to do with physiological changes during the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. Ovulation also increases the incidences of wet dreams due to an increased libido.
14. Sex is all the workout I need
Image source: Shutterstock
The worst one that’s been around since time immemorial! If only sex was a substitute for exercise, how awesome our lives would be!! While sex does burn calories, the amount burnt (85-150 calories for around 30-35 minutes of sex) is negligible in comparison to a workout regime. Since the human body needs to burn about 3500 calories to shed one extra pound of flab to look ‘fab’ (for sex and otherwise), one would probably need to have sex 35 times to achieve that feat! So, the next time you think you’d just have a romp and skip the exercise, think again! I hear that low-side lunges, standing hip thrusts, gluteal bridge, and Plié are all a bomb-boost for your sex-life! 😀
15. Penis enlargement is possible with meds and devices
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
It is probably ‘fitting’ to end this list with another myth about size. Sorry to burst the bubble, folks, but all of those hundreds of mails that you get every week, promising you a longer version of your equipment through a miraculous new invention with thousands of success stories, is absolute nonsense.
Pumps can give a temporary increase in size by stretching the penis tissue with negative pressure, but the problem is that a tiny mistake or a poor quality device can cause blood vessels to burst, causing dead tissue. Stretchers work by attaching to both ends of the penis and causing microtears just like in a strength workout in the gym – but it is still in early stages and the test subjects had to use it for 3 months and up to 9 hours a day to see any results. The less said about the use of ‘magic pills’, the better, although there are some like Cialis have been approved but are not recommended for long term use. Suffice it to say, there’s no sustainable, proven way of increasing your ‘mini-me’ other than to undergo surgery. Savvy?
There you go – the facts that should form part of your sex repertoire! So, go deflate these myths for some others too coz this time the ‘gyan’ would really be akin to that of a ‘sexpert!’ 😉
Featured image source: Shutterstock
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
