Are you someone who is being taken for granted all the time in their relationship?
No, don’t dismiss it saying that you are positive and in control of your life. You may be an empathetic and caring person, but over time, your partner and also your loved ones have realized that it is very easy to take your wishes, your desires and indulgences for granted.
The main reason why people are taken for granted in relationship is, in all probability, a lack of self-respect. This makes you constantly do things for people in order to earn their adulation to make up for the dearth of it from your own side. However, the results of this are quite contrary to what you expect.
Suggested read: 18 sad signs you’re settling in your unhappy relationship
The best way to decide whether someone is undeniably taking you for granted, is by being introspective. Taking someone for granted is a bad thing to do but believe me when I tell you that you are more to blame than your partner for this!
So here are 15 things you need to stop being!
1. You are too predictable.
When one is really unsurprising, the people around them, especially the loved ones, can perfectly predict their next move. So if your partner can foresee your reactions, responses, ways of going about things, etc., without difficulty, they will be enticed to subtly manipulate you. This is how they get what they want from you. This will not only make you feel manipulated and exploited, but worse, you are bound to feel helpless over a period of time.
2. Saying “no” is somewhat impossible for you.
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So, you cannot say “no”. It’s very difficult for you to decline anybody’s wishes or demands. You have actually given this some thought and come to the conclusion that it is much easier for you to take on more responsibilities and commitments than flatly saying “no” to someone. I am sure you think you are being sweet, but let me warn you that, this powerlessness is one of the main reasons why you are being taken for granted. People are sure to shamelessly use you and then hate you if you fail to help them the next time.
3. Confronting people and awkward situations is a nightmare for you.
If you do realize or have a feeling that you are being taken for granted in your relationship, I suggest, talk to your significant other about it and confront the issue. Whatever be the result of this, it will always be better than you ending up unhappy each day and being full of umbrages and frustrations, which inevitably will eat your being from the inside.
4. You tend to postpone every decision.
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You have noticed that it is easier for you to make excuses and postpone important issues because they scare you. Rather than dealing with them immediately and concluding them once and for all, you prefer putting them off for a little longer. If you think that doing this is actually an easy way, let me tell you this: it is a very spineless and weak-willed way of going about problems.
Your loved ones, especially your spouse, are sure to identify your incompetence at taking tough decisions and they may very well abuse this side of you. So if your S.O. pronounces judgments on your behalf, and consequently, influences you into doing something you don’t want to, you are the one to blame.
5. You lie to yourself.
Have you ever caught yourself cheating on your own self, by telling lies and making excuses, whenever someone has taken you for granted? If yes, here’s something you need to know. You may comfort yourself by saying that your person took the right decision for you, so how does that matter anyway. This can be disastrous. You are being handled out of free will!
6. You are sweet. Too sweet!
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Being the people pleaser, you cannot imagine being rude to anyone. You have swayed yourself to believe that you are the sweetest person in this bad world, but honey, in reality, you are being called the ‘idealist idiot’ behind your back. That hurts, doesn’t it? But you yourself are creating reasons and almost forcing others to take advantage of you!
7. You are scared of dominating people!
Anyone who is loud, blunt, domineering, and confrontational, scares the living daylights out of you. Handling them is a trauma that cannot be compared with anything else. It stresses you emotionally to deal with these kinds of people. So it becomes easier for you to just accept whatever they say without uttering a word because that saves you from conversing with them.
If you think this is the best way to go about dealing with rude people, you are only setting yourself up to be taken for granted for the rest of your life!
Suggested read: 5 compelling reasons why trust in a relationship once lost is hard to regain
8. You are not aware of your own wishes.
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Every single time you have wanted to do something, may be something as simple as getting an appointment at the nearest spa, there is a voice in your head that asks you whether your partner would like the fact that you took a decision for yourself. Your sole ambition in life is to please this person and in whatever you do, you hope they would notice how much you love them and how accommodating you are. However, the only thing that they actually see is how easy it is to take you for a ride!
9. You have very low expectations for everything.
You consciously keep your demands and expectations really low around people. You don’t want to burden anyone with your desires because you know how difficult it is to keep everyone happy (do you get the irony?!). So instead you shower your love all around hoping that they will change someday and love you the way you love them.
On the contrary, what does happen is that your S.O. just assumes that you actually enjoy doing so much for them, and that itself, makes you very happy. Also, they start thinking that they are indeed perfect for you because you haven’t ever pointed out a flaw in them.
10. You respect your S.O. and they know that you do!
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You really respect your partner, and offending them is something you can’t even dream of. This person is around whom your life revolves, your thoughts and actions revolve. You are willing to do just about anything that would make them happy.
And what does this special person of yours do? They keep increasing their expectations. No, no, you can’t complain because don’t you get it, it was you who encouraged them to do so!
11. You yearn for appreciation.
You are always working your, sorry about this, a$$ off, to impress the partner of your dreams. You are even willing to bend over backwards, if need be, to win their appreciation. Even a small line of compliment from them means everything to you but sadly that never comes your way no matter how hard you try.
12. You have no confidence in yourself.
You doubt yourself. You have no faith in your own strengths; paradoxically, you think you don’t have any! You constantly find flaws in yourself but think of others as virtuous and perfect. Dear, you are breaking yourself from the inside, and this needs to stop immediately.
13. You are afraid of being alone.
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Being on your own is a complete no-no for someone like you. You are constantly in the need for someone to befriend. Freedom to be by yourself scares you and it is much easier for you to go out of your way and do what may please your spouse rather than being lonely, all by yourself!
14. You constantly seek your other half’s approval.
On every single thing! By doing this, you are permitting the other person to emotionally control you and use you according to their requirements. If this goes on, soon a day will come when you will completely lose your ability to make any sort of judgement, and taking decisions independently will be too far-fetched a thought for you.
Suggested read: 10 essential dos and don’ts in your first relationship
15. You give thousand times the love than what you get in return
You have no idea where to stop when it comes to giving love and doing things for this person. However, you have ended up giving up too much and now you feel exhausted. But then, it’s perhaps too late to talk to the person and make some amends in your relationship, right? Wrong! You are again procrastinating confrontation because you think even if something changes, it will be for the worse!
I know, it is difficult to identify these traits in yourself, but I am sure your close friends, who really care about you, have warned you a multiple times saying things that hint at the fact that you are indeed susceptible to being used. If this is true, it is high time you take a stand. You need to immediately communicate these feelings to your S.O. You cannot wait for someone else to confront the issue and take a decision on your behalf this time round!
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