You wake up one day and feel as if you’re doing the same things over and over and over again, like you’re living your own mundane version of the Groundhog Day. Life seems to be stuck in a rut, with no end in sight. You find that you have nothing to be joyful about, nothing to be happy about, that you’re doomed to rinse and repeat this same cycle till the day you breathe your last. Such thoughts can really bring you down, where it seems like there’s no end to the drudgery that is your life.
However, not all is gloom and doom as you think it is. It’s just a funk that you seem to have sunk into, that is temporary. Yes, it is temporary, and you can get out of this funk by re-training your brain into thinking positively. One thing you need to understand about happiness, is that, it’s a choice that you make – consciously – every day. Also, happiness is not a constant, static feeling. It’s dynamic; it comes and it goes. Most importantly, it is found in small, mundane, unexpected moments, rather than elaborate, planned instances.
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How to be happy again
Negativity is the number one killer of happiness. Negative thoughts cast a pall over your thoughts and emotions and feelings, along with your relationships. It’s like a leech that sucks all the positivity and happiness and light-heartedness from your life. When your mind is filled with negativity, all you see is negativity in any experience. If you want to learn how to be happy again, you need to make a few simple changes in your thinking and your life, that will help you realize that your life isn’t all that bleak as you think it to be.
1. Keeping dreams alive.
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One of the main reasons for unhappiness is that you lose sight of your dreams, or you’ve given up on them. Dreams, hopes, aspirations are what keep us going forward, that make us feel alive, give us the shot in the arm that we need to be happy. If you’ve stopped dreaming, or have given up on yours, then it’s time to resurrect them and start working towards them – one step and one day at a time.
2. Changing things that make you unhappy.
It’s not about having everything you want that makes you happy, but wanting everything you already have. If something or someone is making you unhappy, then it’s time to cut the cord. Nothing and nobody is worth it if you’re essentially unhappy with your life. If you want to learn how to be happy again in life, then let those things go that don’t add to your happiness. Instead, seek those that do make you happy.
3. Celebrating the small wins.
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Sometimes you’re so focused on getting to the finish line that you fail to celebrate the small wins along the way, that are as important as the final destination, if not more so. Sure, you may experience one step backward for every two steps forward. But each and every step in the right direction is good and will you keep you moving forward, reveling in staying the course, and making it to your destination, however far and implausible it may seem sometimes.
4. Enjoying the ride.
Sometimes you’re so fixated on the end goal that you forget to stop and enjoy the ride you’re on. Life is essentially a journey that you need to savor; it’s not about making it to the destination alone. Stop rushing through life; actually stop and take the time to enjoy and experience all that life has to offer along the way.
5. Thinking positively.
Thinking positively actually helps. If you believe that only good things will happen to you, then you will start to see life and the world, in general, in a completely different manner. When you see the world with a positive lens, you won’t find roadblocks but stepping stones to your ultimate destination. It also means never quitting, sticking to your guns, and not taking ‘no’ for an answer – from anyone or even from life itself.
6. Cutting off toxic friendships and relationships.
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Toxic friends and relationships are one of the foremost downers that bring you down emotionally. If you want to be happy again, cut off people who are toxic for your mental and emotional well-being. Life is too short to be bogged down by toxicity from people who are supposed to uplift you and encourage you. It’s okay to let such toxic people go from your life.
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7. Being present.
Are you present in your life? Or are you just going through the motions of living? Take the time to actually stop, look around, and enjoy the little moments. These little moments, instances, and incidents are what make you happy. Don’t let the little moments go or continue on autopilot because you will miss out on actually living your life.
8. Looking for a silver lining.
Every failed attempt or loss is a learning experience. It may make you feel dejected at first, but if you start to look at the bright side of things and experiences, then you’ll start to think that it was the way things were supposed to happen, and that it’s something for you to learn from. Life is about the sum of your experiences – both good and bad.
9. Stop trying to control everything.
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You can’t control life and how it unfolds. The sooner you realize this truth, the better you will feel. It is wild, messy, unpredictable, overwhelming, euphoric, depressing, chaotic – all at the same time. You will invite unhappiness when you try to control every little thing in your life, rather than let it unfold at its own pace. You can’t anticipate every outcome of every decision you take and your ever action. If you do that, you will start to feel helpless, and it’s not really conducive to feeling happy. Just let things unfold as they will; go with the flow. You can’t change what is meant to happen. Instead of trying to fight against life, embrace it and navigate it as best you can. That’s the best thing you can do to find happiness again.
10. Stop comparing your life with others’.
Your life is your own; your friend’s is their own. You can’t compare the two, and feel as if you’re falling behind in life, or that they’ve surpassed you in so many aspects of life. That’s a sure recipe to feel unhappy, if not downright depressed. You don’t know someone else’s journey, the same way they don’t know yours. Recognize and appreciate all your blessings, rather than feeling as if you’re left behind by life. They may seem happier, richer, as if they’re going places. But that’s just what you see. Don’t be dazzled by what you see, but focus on your own life instead. NEVER compare your life with someone else’s.
11. Getting your priorities right.
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If your priorities are messed up, then it’s no wonder you’re unhappy. Focusing on the wrong things in life can leave you feeling empty, exhausted, and as if you’re not working hard enough. Set your priorities right, and then start working towards achieving the best in them. That’s what will make you happy. YOU alone know what you need to prioritize, nobody else, because it’s YOUR life.
12. Making time for yourself.
If you do things for your parents, your friends, or your partner, when will you live for yourself? If you find time to do things for everyone else in your life but you, you will never have enough time for yourself, where you introspect and contemplate on things in your life and about yourself. You need to address your own needs above others’, if you want to know how to be happy. It’s okay to be selfish and put your own happiness above others. It’s OKAY!
13. Doing what makes you happy.
Indulge in your passions and interests that make you happy. It’s easy to blame everything on stress and work pressure. Life’s too short to live it doing things that you ought to do, rather than you want to do. Find the time to do things that bring you joy and happiness. These are bound to make you happy again.
14. Learning to say NO.
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This is an important tool to have in your repertoire. You need to stop saying YES to everyone and anyone who wants or asks something of you. Saying YES might make you feel good about helping or pleasing others, however, it is also true that you would start to resent them because you haven’t learnt how to say NO when you just can’t or won’t do something for someone. So stop being a people-pleaser and learn to say NO when you want to.
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15. Exercising regularly.
Exercising helps release happy hormones in your blood stream, which help chase away the feelings of sadness and moodiness. Being physically fit and strong contributes to your mental health and well-being as well. Find what you love best and stick to that exercise regimen.
These are all the tips you need to learn how to be happy again in your life. It’s not rocket science or too difficult to follow. Simple changes will put you on the right path to happiness and joy.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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