You’ve been together for a long time now and you love your man more than anything in the world; or maybe you recently started dating him. Whatever the case is, when things start to feel wrong, you might as well get a hold of yourself and figure out what’s happening. You both may be a very happy couple and everything might seem perfectly normal. But if you spot any signs of an affair, however small they maybe, then you need to start paying attention.
It is the last thing that you’re going to want to believe, but if there are signs your man is cheating on you, then you might as well look out for yourself. Of course, there are always chances that it may turn out to be a false alarm. He could just be going through a rough phase for all you know. But for your sanity and your relationship, don’t ignore the signs that come your way.
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You obviously can’t strap on a lie-detector to do this, so here are the signs you should look out for.
1. His behavior is different
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You’ve spent a lot of time with your partner and are familiar with how he behaves. You tend to realize when he’s angry or when he needs a hug, not because you’re a genius, but because you just know. You know his reactions in different situations. His behavior is familiar territory to you and when that starts being different way too often, it starts to bother you. If this is happening, then you deserve an explanation. It could be because of something else entirely. But if he’s cheating, you ought to know.
2. Mood swings
Just all the time. You have no idea why but he suddenly wants alone time or just starts talking lesser than he usually does. If you notice that he has started to get too angry suddenly, then maybe there is something wrong. For all you know, he might be running out of excuses to get away from you and that might be making him angry. Even if he does get away, does he talk to you about any of the things he does when he’s away from you? If not, chances are that he’s into something that will break your heart.
3. Doesn’t remember things
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This is one of the main signs of a cheater – he remembers it all wrong and loses track of things all the time. This is simply because he’s cheating and can’t keep up with the different times that he spent with you and his mistress. When that happens, all his memories blur together and he can’t remember which movie he went for with either of you. Since he spends time with the other woman without having to explain it to you, he’ll mix up everything and that’s when you need to get your guard up.
4. Appearance changes
Oh, yes. You’ll notice this, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. If he regularly goes to the gym and maintains himself, then this point isn’t for you. But if he’s the kind who usually doesn’t have more than 20 minutes to go running and is now suddenly spending over an hour on it, then maybe something is up. It could just be an ‘I want to be fit again’ phase, but if he’s trying to look good especially when you’re not around, then maybe it is for someone else. This is a very common sign especially for married men who cheat.
5. Doesn’t notice you
At all! He just stops paying attention to you because multi-tasking is not his thing. He can handle work and love, but he can’t handle two relationships at one time. Even if he tries very hard to spend time with you and be with you, he isn’t really present there. He just seems to be lost in his own world pretty much all the time. You could stop walking beside him or go ahead and wear a bag over your head, he just won’t realize. At least while his mind is busy elsewhere.
6. Privacy mode on
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Everyone needs a little alone time. But when your man needs it too often and for longer periods of time, it is definitely one of the signs your man is cheating on you. He’s going to work early and coming home late. He is having too many dinners without you, spending weekends away on ‘official business,’ or taking way too many private calls. When he’s working from home, he’s locked up in the room for too long. These are all red flags that you shouldn’t be ignoring. If not cheating, it can’t be too good for your relationship either.
7. Hidden finances
You wanted signs your man is cheating? Then this is it. Couples in general need to be very clear about how much money they make and spend because managing expenditures is a regular thing. But now your man has to buy and pay for things – gifts, meals, hotels and everything else that he might be spending on while he’s out with her. Since it needs to be untraceable, he will do what it takes to keep is as far away from you as possible. If you notice him make any large transactions out of place, then go ahead and investigate.
Suggested read: How to let your partner know that you cheated on them
8. Technology helps
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This could go two ways. Either he becomes too secretive about the technology he uses or he becomes too open about it. Couples in general don’t bother with each other’s phones unless needed or when fooling around. But when he needs to talk to her, he’ll find a secret way to do so; and he’ll want you as far away from his phone as possible. If not, he has started to show you his messages even when you didn’t ask for it. For all you know, he has a different cellphone for the other woman.
9. Drastic change in bed
There are certain things in your sex life that you are both familiar with. If there is a sudden drastic change in his behavior in bed, without you both having discussed anything about it, then there might be a cause for worry. When men cheat, their testosterone levels go up a notch along with their egos. So, either they’ll be indulging in more aggressive sex with you or turn the other way round and become inactive. That happens mostly because they’re having too much of it with someone else.
10. Longer office hours
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His whole life suddenly starts to revolve around how much work he has at office. He leaves early and comes back home after hours that are unacceptable at almost any work place. If the other woman is from his office, then he has even more reason to stay at work. Also, keep an eye out for him bringing up one woman in conversations way too many times. Men tend to talk constantly about the person that they like.
11. Offense is the best defense
This is the best defense that he has against you. Every time you point out something he does that suggests he might be cheating, he just attacks you with accusations of being jealous or crazy so that you begin to doubt yourself. Now, unless you are a crazy jealous person in general, I’d say trust your gut.
12. He’s being too nice
Is he suddenly taking you to all your favorite places and letting you watch whatever you want on the television? Then chances are that he might be feeling guilty about cheating on you and is trying to compensate for it by being nice to you. You don’t want that compensation now, do you?
13. He’s suddenly a clean freak
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Just out of the blue! He’s suddenly keeping his car too clean and his apartment cleaner, especially if he never did so before. He is probably doing this because of the other lady in his life. He needs to wipe out the evidence that she existed in his life just a few hours ago, right before you showed up. That’s why all the cleanliness.
14. Everyone is saying it
Yes, everyone sees it except you. People tend to notice things, especially if you have a large number of mutual friends. They’ll notice when he is behaving differently with you and probably even ask him what the matter is. Chances are that his friends know about it and they might give you warning signs. Don’t ignore any hints from the people you know, because maybe they just have your best interests at heart and don’t want to see you hurt.
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15. Your intuition says it too
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Your gut feeling is screaming at you that there is something going on. You might not understand it in the beginning, but this is something that you shouldn’t ignore. Your intuition tells you the truth because all the signs are pointing to just one thing that you might not want to accept – that he’s cheating on you.
There you go. Now that you know the signs that you have to look out for if you think he’s cheating on you, make sure that you find out. Though these signs could suggest something else as well, if you spot too many of them in a combination, chances are that you’re on to something. So go ahead and investigate, but remember to not accuse him before you find substantial proof of him cheating. If you don’t, then sit him down and ask him why these changes are happening; because maybe it’s about something else entirely.
Good luck!
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