Have you ever felt so attracted to someone that you felt light-headed, happy, and woozy all at the same time? You can’t seem to focus on anything, you’re constantly thinking about this person, checking your phone for their texts. It’s almost as if you’re going through withdrawal from a powerful narcotic. You can’t seem to get enough of this person, you crave their presence almost all of the time, and you’re in your own little bubble. You seem almost obsessed with them, and even start to think that you’re in love.
But is this love? Umm… not really. At least not yet it isn’t. What it most definitely is, is infatuation. If you’re infatuated with someone, let it take its course, because more often than not, this infatuation leads to love, and an eventual relationship. However, be warned that there’s a distinct possibility of this infatuation leading to heartbreak.
Suggested read: 15 crazy yet honest signs you’re falling in love with your special someone
Symptoms of infatuation
Besides what is described above, there are a number of symptoms of infatuation that will tell you if it’s actually love or not. Take a look:
1. Fear of abandonment.
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You think they will leave you if you breathe wrong, or they will cheat on you if you say no to them for anything. You weren’t even an insecure person before you met them, but now suddenly, you seem to have become this paranoid person who has trust issues. When you’re in love with someone, you trust them, are confident that they wouldn’t betray your trust, and are loyal to you. But it’s not the case with infatuation, which it is, if you’re acting like a paranoid person who suffers from trust issues out of the blue.
2. Bring them up in conversations.
Whatever might be the topic of conversation, with any person, you somehow bring them in it. You just can’t seem talk enough about them, all day, every day. Your friends and family have been listening to you wax poetic about them for what seems like ages now, and it’s safe to assume that they might just strangle you if you continue to do so for long. If you can’t seem to shut up about them, then you are most definitely infatuated with them.
3. Change in personal preferences.
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When you’re infatuated with someone, you start to change your personal preferences because suddenly, you want and need all that they want and need. You just can’t seem to separate your own wants and needs from theirs. You’re even willing to leave every dream and hope because you want to want what they want. Get it? This is messed up. This is clearly not love.
4. Exaggerate their virtues.
You literally put them on a pedestal. Whatever they say, do, or even think, is tantamount to the Word of God! You think they’re the funniest, smartest, and the handsomest person you’ve ever met in your life. You even go to the extent of thinking that you’re somehow less than them, and that their being with you is your amazing good luck. As if you’re nothing without them. This, in no way, is love. If it had been, then you’d have felt like equals, like partners, like a team, where you’re both on equal footing. That’s healthy, and that’s love.
5. Lack of focus.
You can’t seem to focus on anything else besides the object of your affection. You constantly think about them, and it’s making you lose focus. You take twice, if not thrice, as long to complete a task that you could have done in your sleep. You don’t seem to be listening to what anyone around you is saying, because you’re lost in your own bubble, which manifests by you making mistakes, even stupid ones. It almost feels like you’ve lost control of your senses, because all of them are focused on that one person.
6. Instant attraction.
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You two met, like, just a week ago, and you think you’re in love. That’s not love, but pure, unadulterated infatuation! Nothing more. You think they walk on water, that they’re ‘the one’ for you, that you can’t live without them. *cue eye roll* If this is what you’re experiencing, then it’s most definitely love, but infatuation.
Suggested read: What is REAL LOVE? 14 sure signs to tell it apart from other types of love
7. Nobody else sees it, but you.
Your ‘connection,’ your ‘attraction’ to each other, is obvious to just you. Nobody else seems to see why you’re so obsessed with this person. Everyone else seems to think that you’re both absolutely wrong for each other, in every respect. But you just don’t see it. You find them hot, attractive, and something who has the potential to be ‘the one,’ in the near future.
8. Constant reminders everywhere.
That song playing on the radio reminds you of the conversation you had last night about favorite music. That word you read on your work-related document makes you think of the book you discussed to death when you met for coffee. You get the point. You can’t walk past a display window or a bakery or even a person who looks vaguely like them, and not be thinking about them. Every little thing seems to be connected to them, when in reality, there is no connection whatsoever!
9. Instant ‘connection.’
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This elusive ‘connection’ that you seem to share with this person could make you feel as if you’ve known them for years, and not the handful of weeks, if that, that you’ve actually known them. Do you even know their middle name? Do you know whether they’ve gone to college? Do you know if they’re an only child or have siblings? Do you know what they do for a living? When you’re infatuated with someone, you tend to take in only the things that you see, but don’t even bother delving deeper into their personality.
10. Get ahead of yourself.
You start to plan a whole future with this person, even before you learn their middle name. You envision a happily ever after with the white picket fence, two point five kids, and the love that you crave in your life. You’re literally ten steps ahead, living in the future, even before you know them in the present. If this isn’t infatuation, I don’t know what is!
11. Change your core values.
When you’re infatuated with this person, you’re even open to changing your core values. Like becoming a vegetarian, even though you can’t survive without meat. Like you’re okay with stealing stationery from office for them, even though you couldn’t even stomach the thought of somebody else doing it, let alone you yourself. If this had been love, you wouldn’t have had to change yourself. You would feel accepted as you are, without any changes.
12. Best thing that EVER happened to you.
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You think that they’re the best thing that EVER happened to you, and you’re absolutely LUCKY to have them in your life. You even go to the extent of thinking what you would’ve done had this person not come into your life! Loving someone isn’t supposed to be the zenith of your life, but a part of your already awesome life, despite it making you feel that way. It is a big part of your life, sure, but not all of it. If it feels like that, then it’s more than likely infatuation, and not love.
13. Sudden selfishness.
When you’re infatuated with someone, you suddenly become super selfish, caring less and less about what you want from your beau, while forgetting to reciprocate to their needs. You want to be understood, but rarely will you take time to understand them and their perspective. You want them to be very open with you, while you hold your secrets and issues close to your chest. You can’t deal with their honesty, because you’re blinded by infatuation, or even a wave of lust, and the truth seems to hit you right in the gut.
Suggested read: Does he care about me? 16 elusive signs that show that he genuinely does
14. Feel lonely.
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Sure, your beau seems to bring you happiness, especially when they’re around. However, that happiness seems to go out the door with them, leaving you feeling lonely, even though you’re with your special someone. This feeling of loneliness when you’re with someone, can spell trouble sooner rather than later, because the connection, the bond that you built the ‘relationship’ on, just isn’t right. Because it’s not love; it’s infatuation.
If you are experiencing these, then you’re most definitely going through the symptoms of infatuation. NOT love. For love, when it actually happens, is the complete opposite of these above mentioned symptoms. And when it’s love, you’ll just know. It won’t steer your wrong. It might make you do stupid things, but it’s not going to hurt you.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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