If you have ever been through heartbreak you would know it’s much more than emotional pain, heck even scientists vouch for the “Broken Heart syndrome!” Of course, you know the pain coz falling in love, getting your heart broken and moving on certainly isn’t new territory. We all know getting over lost love is such a bummer. But there’s something about ‘moving on’ after a devastating heartbreak that makes the process twice as hard. Here are fourteen definitive reasons falling in love takes double the effort after having your heart broken and having to collect the pieces to join again in love:
1. Trust is not easy
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After a heartbreak, trusting again doesn’t come as easy. You are doubly cautious about feeling vulnerable and perhaps, in conscious, semi-conscious ways withhold yourself from being completely vulnerable again.
2. Everything is a memory
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You and your ex have memories all over the town, even your bed! It is almost impossible to not be drowned in a deluge of memories that keep taking you back to ex-times- good and bad- that inevitably cause those tears to pour out.
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3. Should you be happy?
At the end of a relationship, you are bound to have feelings of withdrawal and depression. You are not sure if you deserve to be happy or if it is too soon to be happily in love with another person. Such doubts are not uncommon and time is your best friend.
4. Comparisons galore
At a certain juncture, a comparison between your ex and your current partner shall surface. However, allowing your relationship to tow the burden of expectations that may arise out of the comparison is unfair to you, your current partner and the relationship you are trying to build.
5. Wary of yourself
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Heartbreaks are fatal to self confidence, you will wonder if you are a person worth being with. The questions will plague you and you will find yourself wary of being your true self often. However, remember that the only way to being loved for you is by being you.
6. Not going public
Even as the world may not take to the breakup, you have no reason to keep your current relationship under wraps because the former public one fell out. No two relationships are the same and it is highly unfair to levy a taxation on a new relationship because the first one didn’t shell out enough to sustain its own life.
7. Taking it slow
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So you dove into a proposal too soon with your ex? And just want to take things super slow now? Erm, maybe your current partner is in no mood while you twiddle your thumbs. Go with the flow, don’t strategize love.
8. Intimacy will be an issue
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You could be one of those people who need to be in love to give in to physical intimacy and after a breakup it’s difficult to get intimate with another person. Yes, you should take all the space and time you want but don’t let a bad memory stop you from making new ones.
9. Extreme moods
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You will run into your ex every now and if you happen to be in the same social circle or workplace, you might be rewinding to a bad time and place. Your current partner might not understand these mood swings and it will certainly not help your love life.
10. Investing in the right one
A heartbreak feels like you have wasted the best years of your life and the next time around you don’t want to take a chance with someone that easily. But hey, love was never easy, take a risk and you might be rewarded.
11. What are you looking for
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You and your current partner need to be in the same frame of mind for a successful relationship, but if you think of your partner as a rebound and they are looking for something serious then you are certainly heading down different paths.
12. Try too hard to please
Your ex may have told you what a horrible person you are and of course you took it to heart. And this time around you go all out to please your current partner, even if it’s not who you are. Stop right here, you don’t have to.
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13. Conclusions
If your current partner doesn’t pick your phone three times in a row, you just immediately decide they are cheating on you! Absurd right? It happens though, you come to conclusions too soon and it hurts your relationship all because you gave way too much leeway to your ex.
14. Paranoia may kill the relationship
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Yes, you expect the worst and are constantly worried that this relationship will end in heartbreak. Little you may know that this paranoia will kill the relationship before it is due.
Love comes easy but two people need to work on it constantly and hopefully you will be lucky the second time around. Just be open and keep at it! ☺
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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