Do you remember your parents telling you to be kind to people, especially the elderly, and kids younger than yourself, and of course, animals. Whatever the circumstance, you’re expected to be kind to people, and being rude is a no-no. However, nobody ever told you that you need to be kind to yourself too, did they?
Yes, kindness doesn’t always refer to your behavior towards others, but towards yourself too. It’s one of the best things you can do for yourself. Be kind to yourself; be patient with yourself; forgive yourself; and love yourself completely, warts and all. When you learn how to be kind to yourself, your life won’t feel like a burden, and this will have a positive impact on your relationships as well. Overall, you will lighter and happier than you’ve ever felt with yourself.
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One of the best things about learning how to be kind to yourself is that your self-esteem goes up, which is often neglected, but has a profound impact on how you see yourself and how you live your life. If you want to make a positive change in your life, start being kind to yourself today. Here are a few ways how you can be kind to yourself:
1. Make time for yourself.
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Make it a point to carve out some time for yourself from your busy schedule, and do something that makes you happy. Whether it’s drawing, painting, journaling, scrapbooking, writing, reading, or playing a sport or an instrument, do it. This ‘me time’ is essential for you to feel good about yourself, and bring yourself joy doing something you love. This is also a natural mood elevator, and you need it in your life.
2. Pat yourself on the back.
Many times, you acknowledge and appreciate someone else’s achievements, even go so far as to praise them for a job well done. But do you extend the same courtesy to yourself? Acknowledge and become aware of your own hard work and achievements, and don’t forget to pat yourself on the back for something you’ve accomplished. Hard work is hard work, no matter who does it – you or your friend.
When you accomplish something – however big or small – stop for a minute and think about how much effort and hard work you had to put in to complete it. Praise yourself, take the time to appreciate your dedication and perseverance. It feels good to be appreciated, especially so if the compliment is from yourself, to yourself.
3. Be kind to yourself.
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More often than not, you yourself are your biggest critic, that little voice in your head that is always judging your actions, that is always ready with a put down. Try to cultivate an opposing voice, that is kind to you, that is not critical of you or your actions, but one that champions you, one that encourages and supports and cheers you on. One that defends you, and not puts you down. If you’re not kind to yourself, you can’t expect others to be so either; and that’s no way to live.
4. Be forgiving toward yourself.
So you made a mistake; so you messed up something. It happens; after all, you are a human being. And humans are notorious for making mistakes. But the trick is to learn from your mistakes, and not wallow in self-pity, or worse, indulge in harsh self-criticism.
Beating yourself up may come naturally to you, but that will surely erode your self-esteem. Be kind and forgiving and supportive yourself. Remember, every stumble along the way is an opportunity to learn something in life and about yourself. Take this newly gained knowledge and move forward.
5. Be sure to take a laughter break.
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Once a day – morning or evening, or even the middle of the day – take some time off and laugh your bum off! Watch a comedy show online, or a funny clip on YouTube, or listen to a podcast that makes you laugh your heart out. Laughing releases happy hormones in your blood, that elevates your mood drastically. It’s one of the easiest and surest ways of recharging and releasing pent up stresses. Try it, it works.
6. Take good care of yourself.
One of the best ways on how to be kind to yourself is to take good care of yourself – emotionally, physically, and mentally. Eat lots of fruits and veggies, say no to junk food, put in some form of exercise as regularly as possible, and get enough sleep. For your emotional and mental well-being, find a way to relieve stress and tension in a healthy way that works for you – whether it’s exercising, or taking a stroll in a park, or talking to someone who understands you and your concerns, find a way that works just for YOU. Also, pay attention to how you look – being well-groomed and taking pride in your appearance will do a world of good to your self-esteem. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, your self-esteem goes up, making you happy. As simple as that!
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7. Find a way to de-stress.
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Whether it’s taking a long, luxurious bubble bath, or playing a sport, or working out, or cooking, baking, or spending time with buddies, find a way to de-stress. At the very least, set aside half an hour of your time every day to de-stress, where you’re kind to your body and mind by letting all your stress and tensions and worries go.
8. Respect yourself.
While it comes very easily to respect others, self-respect – not so much. Self-respect is respecting yourself for the person you are, the way you are, and not letting others to dictate to you on who you are and what you should do. Self-respect also means that you’re trusting yourself and your abilities, thinking for yourself, forming your own opinions and judgments, which translate to you making your own choices and decisions. You, refusing to compare yourself to others, is also self-respect, because if you’re constantly doing that, then you’re not respecting your own thoughts, ideas, and self.
Also, always keep your promises to yourself, because that’s how you start to trust yourself. Not just keeping promises, but also following through on what you tell yourself you’re going to do. You’re being kind to yourself by respecting yourself.
9. Overcome a bad day by doing something good.
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So you had a rough day at the office, or are just feeling low in general. Overcome it by doing something positive, something that brings you joy and affirms your belief in this life, and brings you hope. You’ve always wanted to take a trip to Scotland? Do some research on it and bookmark all the things you want to do while you’re there. You’ve missed your best friend’s presence and wisdom in your life? Set up a dinner or a coffee date with them. You’ve always wanted to do something more for your career? Now’s the time – do the research and follow through on it. Try a new hobby or an interest, because you’ve always wanted to pick up a new skill.
10. You deserve a treat now and then.
If you see something you really want, why not treat yourself to it? But, in no way are we recommending retail therapy just for the heck of it, or losing your savings on gambling. But, treating yourself for a job well done, or a bauble that became available after a long way – they’re fair game. You don’t have to wait for someone else to gift you something you dearly want; you can gift it to yourself! After all, you deserve it!
11. Be sure to remind yourself of your good qualities.
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When someone asks you to list all the good qualities of your best friend, you’re quick with a plethora of them. But, when you’re asked to list our your own good qualities, you stumble, not sure what to include, what to say. That’s how self-critical people generally are. But everyone, including you, has amazing qualities that make them unique. Maybe it’s your shiny doe eyes, maybe it’s your lustrous hair, maybe you’re a good, kind-hearted person, who wears specs, maybe you’re tall, super-cheeky, with a wicked sense of humor. Always make it a point to remind yourself of your good qualities and traits.
12. Make it a point to lift yourself up.
Sure, you’re going to fail at some things in life, and you’ll do spectacularly well in some other things. You can do things in such situations – tear yourself down, or lift yourself up. It’s up to you what you’re going to do. If you want to learn to be kind to yourself, then you’ll do the latter. Tell yourself that just because you failed at something, it’s not the end of the world. That it’s going to be okay. Giving yourself a morale boost when you’re down is one of the kindest things you could do for yourself. Remind yourself that you have had many successes in the past, and that one failure isn’t going to deter you. Formulate a plan, and turn your failure into a success.
13. Honor your dreams.
If you respect yourself, you will honor your dreams. No matter how big, how far-fetched your dreams may seem to others, they are yours. Don’t downlplay them, or relegate them to a dusty corner of your mind. Take your dreams seriously and work towards making them a reality by mapping a course with actionable goals to get there. If you don’t respect and cherish your dreams, why would anyone else?
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14. Stop trying to be perfect.
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Because nobody was, is, or ever will be. If you’re after perfection, then you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment, or worse, failure. Perfection is an illusion, to be honest. It doesn’t exist. You’re doing yourself a huge disservice if you run after perfection. Instead, aim to improve yourself, one step at a time.
Being kind to yourself doesn’t come naturally to most people. It’s a process. Take your time and learn it the hard way. You’ll get there. Be patient though.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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