Getting over an ex or, for that matter, getting over a relationship, sucks. It makes you do crazily stupid things, and often people are driven purely by emotion rather than logic to do these things. One of the craziest things that people often do after a difficult breakup is to get into a rebound relationship. As stupid as it sounds, this is all too real and is inevitable. It happens to the best of us.
With so many emotions wreaking a havoc inside you, you could really get misguided and wouldn’t be able to think straight. Because you’re dealing with sorrow, grief, anger, resentment – all at once. The result of such emotions all together can be catastrophic, and if you’re not careful, then the first thing after a breakup that you’d do is get into a rebound relationship.
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At a first glance, it may seem alright. The new relationship may be something that you always lacked; so for a brief moment, it’s the best thing in your life after your breakup. This new and sudden change in your life is what you’d consider as a boon. A sort of blessing in disguise, but then it may not seem perfect anymore. After a while, it may seem as though there is something missing, something not right about the whole thing. You might not be able to put your finger on it, and then BAM! One fine morning, you’d wake up and realize that this is it. This is your rebound relationship. The one thing everyone warned you about!
Suggested read: 12 questions to ask yourself to see if you’re ready for a rebound
What do you do next?
Well, you don’t want to go through the saga of another breakup. Your heart has had enough and your mind is already exploding. So, it becomes important to identify the red flags before it’s too late. You need to look out for the signs of a rebound relationship.
They aren’t that hard to spot.
1. You’d date anyone
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So, you got out of the frying pan and now you simply want to jump into boiling hot oil. Well, it means that you simply want to date again and you’d date just about anyone. Yes, anyone. So, if you’re getting attention from a random person, you’d just sway with it. Or you’d be hitting on the next person in a new bar. After a breakup, sometimes you simply can’t be alone; in fact, you’d hate to. Breakups tend to have that kind of effect on you. Being alone sounds like a horrendous thing, and you simply want someone and thus you’d date someone. Well, anyone for that matter.
2. You’re surprised at the pace you’re moving
Your friends may have mentioned it casually to you and you do feel the same in your heart of hearts. You’d think you’ve spent an appropriate amount of time alone to get over the misery, but no. Here you are, back in the game, and you’re doing it again. It may seem like you’re in a fast paced car and that could surprise even yourself. You probably thought you’d never get over your ex, or you’d take a long time to find something interesting. Signs of a rebound relationship include the surprise element you find when you discover the speed at which you have moved on and gotten into another relationship.
3. Sex is a priority
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You don’t care for romance, understanding, or compatibility. The sex is great and you can’t seem to stop. Often, a rebound relationship has no intimacy, it’s purely physical. There isn’t a personal connect you could have with your new partner. You’d feel the need to simply get into bed and get it over with. Sex takes priority before any other aspect that a relationship must possess.
4. You often talk about your ex
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It may seem weird at times when you mention your ex to your new partner, or to anyone at all. But subconsciously, when you keep doing that, you know for a fact that this is a rebound relationship. Talking about your ex means that you haven’t gotten over them. Memories keep coming back to you and you can’t seem to stop it.
5. You’d get back with your ex in a heartbeat
Deep within, you know that if your ex wooed you or showed even an iota of an inclination to reconcile, you’d get back with them at the drop of a hat. You’d leave your new partner just like that! When you know that you’re willing to get back with them, and that this new relationship is a temporary fix to whatever you’re facing, then this sure is one of the signs of a rebound relationship.
6. ‘Going with the flow’ describes your current state of affairs
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You don’t know how better you can describe what’s going on with you. When people ask you how you’re doing, you simply do the sad side nod and say ‘going with the flow’. A good relationship never ‘goes with the flow’ because the two people involved in it are conscious about what they are doing. They want certain things a certain way and ‘going with the flow’ may simply insult their feelings for one another. ‘Going with the flow’ is best described when you’re in a rebound relationship because you don’t seem to understand what the heck is happening and you’re simply going where your emotions are taking you.
Suggested read: 7 real reasons why rebound sex won’t help you get over your ex
7. You aren’t serious about this relationship
We bet you can’t cross your heart and say that you’re serious about your new partner. Well, it’s no surprise that your new partner from the rebound relationship is the last thing on your mind because you’re not so serious about them. You haven’t visualized a life together or even celebrating your first anniversary. So, in your mind, you’d always know that you are indeed fooling around with this person, that they don’t matter much in the long run. So, even if you don’t see them for long periods of time, or if they breakup with you without any obvious reason, you couldn’t care less. You aren’t serious about this relationship, so you’d never introduce them to your friends, family, or take them as a date for a wedding.
8. You keep running into your ex
This may seem borderline creepy, but then you bump into your ex so often that it’s hard to call that a coincidence. Well, we mean that you are strategically planning all these moves – consciously or not. You want to simply see them as much as possible and therefore you run into them often.
9. You want to keep in touch with your ex
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Despite what other people tell you, you want to stay connected with your ex. All your friends’ efforts, or your new partner’s efforts to keep you apart fail miserably. You simply pay no heed to anyone’s advice of staying away from your ex. Sometimes it’s easier and better to stay away from your ex; it’s part of the healing process but you don’t seem to want that.
10. The comparisons don’t stop
Yes, everything reminds you of your ex. You can’t stop comparing and you don’t. Because your ex is constantly on your mind and you haven’t been able to get over them, you end up comparing your new partner with them.
11. Drowning in your own sorrow
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A part of you will always be miserable after the breakup. So no matter what your new partner does to cheer you up, you’d still be bitter. You end up drowning yourself in the old memories, with suppressed emotions and sometimes maybe alcohol. So, while you claim to be in a new relationship which is nothing but a rebound, you also are miserable inside. You can’t seem to find a way to cheer your spirit that lies within. This is a sure sign of a rebound relationship.
12. You are jealous and want to show off your new partner
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Insecurities take over and you are now doing things to get back at your ex. You are jealous of them or you simply want to show them that you’re doing fine without them in your life. You show up with your new partner only to make them feel bad about it. You don’t genuinely care, but you care enough to make them jealous or to make them think you don’t care.
13. Constantly thinking of your ex
If there’s one thing on your mind right now, it’s your ex. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to get them off your mind. Even if your ex jumped off a cliff and died, you’re sure your ex would still haunt you. You are always thinking about them, whether it’s all the good things or the bad, you can’t get over with it – or them. They come up in your memories no matter how hard you try to erase them from it.
Suggested read: 7 reasons why rebound relationships are a bad idea
14. You seem bitter all the time
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After a breakup, it may be hard to stay calm or stay happy. But if you’ve gotten yourself in a rebound relationship, you may think that this new fling would make you happy. But it doesn’t. It only makes you sadder and more miserable. You’d seem like an old harpy, who is always upset with the world.
A rebound relationship may seem like the perfect thing to do post a breakup, but they usually aren’t. They could sometimes do more damage than good. You’d think that a rebound relationship is the ideal way to get over an ex, but in reality, it’s not. It’s simply a burst of emotion that could further damage you. So be very careful when getting into a relationship soon after a breakup.
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