My friend and I were out at dinner last week. When I asked her if she was dating someone, she said, in an offhand manner, “Yeah, I’m seeing someone, but it’s only casually.”
Scrunching up my forehead, I asked her, “Why not seriously? Is there something wrong with him?”
To which, she replied with a tinkling laugh, “Oh honey! I don’t want to be shackled to one person right now. I like to keep my options open.”
“So you’re seeing multiple people at the same time?” I asked with a bit of skepticism.
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Shaking her head, she enlightened me, “No, silly. Many people do that, but that’s not me. I want the fun part where we’re together, have loads of sex, but lead our separate lives. Oh, and … a bit of exclusivity thrown in. Nothing serious though.”
In essence, no real conversations, no being there for each other, no real commitment.
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Yes, and this casual dating approach appeals to a lot of people, I learnt while researching for this piece. If you’re dating someone casually, that means you’re ‘having fun’ with them, while not promising anything concrete like commitment, attention, presence or the like to each other. This way, you avoid all the not-so-glamorous and the not-so-fun parts of an adult, serious, committed relationship.
This type of a quasi-relationship where you don’t commit to anything concrete, appeals to a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. Let’s take a look at some of those reasons:
1. More freedom
This is one of the best perks of casual dating, as far as I can figure. Dating someone casually gives you the opportunity to enjoy your freedom uninhibitedly, while also having someone to hold you and please you when you want. It’s pretty much like living life as a single person – free as you can be – and not having to worry about what your significant other would say because technically, they’re not your SO.
2. A chance to really know what you’d like in a partner
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The whole set up of casual dating allows you to meet different kinds of people, some of whom appeal more to you than others. You interact with most of them in an intimate manner by getting to know them. You get a chance to nail down what you’d like in a long-term partner, versus what you’d never tolerate. It’s like practice before the big game.
3. An opportunity to meet a lot of new people
Dating casually is like winning a lottery on meeting the most number of people in a short amount of time. Think about it – if you’re in a relationship, you’d meet people only known to you or your partner, no other new people. That would get pretty boring, pretty fast, don’t you think?
4. It’s pretty easy to call it quits
Of course, it is! When you’ve not made anything “official” or made any kind of commitment, it’s pretty easy to cut and run (figuratively, of course). Although you might argue that it’s true in the case of any kind of relationship, casual dating makes it that much more easy to breakup with someone. And since it’s dating casually, it’s supposed to be easy for both parties to move on. How accurate this logic is, I’ve no idea.
5. A pretty great option for those busy with their careers
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
When you’re focused on building your career, you don’t have time for a real relationship and the consequent demands on your time and energy. But even career-oriented people get lonely and want someone to spend the occasional night with. They do crave intimacy and human contact, and in comes casual dating, and voila! Problem solved! This is especially true for those in their 20s, who’re just starting off in their careers. They don’t have the distraction of a real relationship, all while enjoying the company of another person. Win-win, eh?
6. Keeps things exciting and fun
Every relationship goes through phases, where you’re bound to fall into a rut and become victim to boredom and monotony. Since you’re only dating casually, there’s nothing to stop you from cutting your losses and moving on to the next interesting person you come across. Dating casually keeps things exciting and new almost all of the time, thereby very few chances of you getting bored.
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7. Reduces jealousy and insecurities that arise in the ‘relationship’
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One of the perks of dating casually is that both parties involved are aware that there isn’t a real commitment as a couple, thereby eliminating jealousy and insecurities and every other negative emotion from cropping up. Seems like you’re getting the cake and eating it too, no?
8. All fun and no hardships
In a real relationship, there are many highs and lows, ups and downs that the couple needs to navigate to succeed at it. However, in a casual dating scenario, since there’s no actual commitment made to one another, you get to reap all the benefits of a relationship, without having to deal with the not-so-great parts that accompany it.
9. Free rein to explore your sexual side
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When you’re dating casually, you have plenty of opportunities to try something new, something risqué, something exciting, something kinky, with your partners. Plus, you’ll get to know your own likes and dislikes in the bedroom pretty accurately. A word of caution: whatever you try, try it safely and make sure it’s consensual.
10. Your dating and personal lives don’t mingle
Sometimes, when you’re in a real, committed relationship, it’s inevitable that both these aspects of your life overlap and create chaos – for any number of reasons. But, when you’re dating casually, there’s very little chance of this chaos being created. You won’t be introducing the person you’re dating to your family, and sometimes not even your friends meet them. It’s not like you’re leading a secret life, more that you’re having a fun time with another individual, who doesn’t need to know every single aspect of your life. Because – you’re only dating casually.
11. Saves a lot of time
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When you’re in a relationship, you need to be available for your partner, whether to go out on dates, or spending time with each other. For some, it might get suffocating and feel like there’s just no time for yourself. For these people, dating casually is the best option. It saves a lot of time.
12. Still pursue hobbies
One of the first casualties of a serious, committed relationship is your hobbies and interests. These take a backseat to spending time with your partner and getting to know them. But when you’re dating casually, you don’t have to do this at all; you can pursue and indulge in your hobbies all you want. No sacrifices needed.
13. Nobody to dictate anything to you
When you’re dating casually, you don’t have to deal with overbearing partners, or uptight significant others who have to have a say in anything and everything you do. You’re your own person, and you don’t have to bend over backwards to accommodate another individual. Of course, you can do this in a serious, committed relationship too, but it’s harder there. You’d have to be careful of not hurting their feelings, their ego, and their fragile sensibilities. *eyeroll*
14. You are a free agent
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
When you think about it, people who date casually are those with a lot on their plate with regards to their careers, higher education, or even their personal lives. They have a lot of opportunities coming their way, and most of them know what they want. When they’re dating casually, they don’t have to figure another person’s feelings into their decisions that are pretty much life-altering. If they want to take up a job on the other side of the country, they can do it without any qualms about having to convince their partner. If they want to quit their job to travel the world for a year, they can go right ahead and do it.
Now you can see how many perks there are of dating casually versus going for a real, committed relationship, right? Do what’s best for you and what makes you happy – whether it’s casual dating or a committed one. Don’t listen to anyone or pander to other’s whims or yield to peer pressure.
Good luck!
Featured image source: Pinterest
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