We all have our kryptonite, that one (or more) person that we wish to erase from our memory. No matter if you’re awake or resting, this person might be haunting you no end. It might seem like you’re spending days, months, or even years on end pining for someone who will never be a part of your life, who broke your heart, and who refuses to budge from your memories. As much as this hopeless yearning might make you feel alone, you’re not. There are many people who are in the same boat as you, so no need to feel despair yet.
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Whether or not you’ve experienced heartbreak before, here are a few tips that will tell you how to forget someone you once loved and move on. Granted that it will take time, but at the end of your patience, you will be rewarded. Trust me.
1. Accept what happened
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As much as you would’ve liked for your relationship to have worked out, it didn’t. So learn to accept the fact that it just wasn’t meant to be. Even now, after all the heartbreak and hurt, there might be a possibility for you both to get back together. But that’s a big if, and you can’t really rely on it and pin all your hopes on it and get stuck in the past, can you? Once you face the facts and accept them for what they are, you’re one step closer to forgetting that person you pined for so long.
2. Let it go
Truly, utterly, and completely. Let it go. Don’t hold on to something that wasn’t yours to begin with. Free your mind and aching heart of that which was never meant to be. The sooner you accept what happened, the sooner you can move forward. Promise to yourself that you will give it your best and let it go, just like Queen Elsa did in Frozen.
3. Go out and put yourself out there
As much as you’d like to throw yourself a pity party by lounging in your ratty pajamas, eating tubs of your favorite chocolate chip ice cream, watching classic romantic movies, and bawling your eyes out, don’t. I’m not saying you have to start dating again or look for a relationship (which would most probably be a rebound). All I’m saying is get out of the house, even if it’s just to go for a walk, or for a run, or to the grocery store, or to meet your friends. It’ll clear your head and your heart of at least some of the ache and hurt. This is your life and your time, which is limited from whichever angle you look at it. So don’t let anyone else take this precious time away from you.
4. Don’t dwell on the past
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I know, I know, this is far easier said than done, but try – with everything you’ve got. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys.’ Don’t look back, because there’s nothing but more heartache for you if you dwell on the past. You might make yourself blue in the face thinking about all the things you could’ve done differently in your past relationship, but you didn’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it. However, on the flip side, even if you did do all of those things you’re thinking about now, might not have made any difference whatsoever and the outcome could still be the same. You might never know. So, let it go; it’s already happened. Don’t look back, look ahead.
5. Work on yourself
If you still haven’t figured out that the best thing for you to do is to let the past go, then you should at least do so now. There’s nothing to be gained by sulking, is there? And one effective thing you can do to forget someone is to focus all of your attention on yourself. Whether it’s within or without, embark on a journey of self-improvement. Learn new things, pick up a new hobby, or workout at the gym and gain the body you’ve always wanted. If you’re still unsure about getting your rear off that couch and pry yourself away from that tub of ice cream, then think of it this way – they say that revenge body is what makes a breakup worth it. Think of how jealous you could make your ex by flaunting a fantastic body if and when you bump into your ex.
6. Stay away from things/people/places that remind you of your kryptonite
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Just avoid them at all costs. I know it’s easy to give in and stalk your ex through their social media channels to see if they’re suffering the same as you are, or if they’ve moved on, but it’s not a good idea, from anywhere you look at it. You need to uproot this person from your life – completely. If you have a few mutual friends, it might be best if you stayed away from them for a while. When mutual friends are stuck in the middle of a breakup, it’s hard for them to not take sides or not talk about the split. That’s the last thing you should be doing, so it’s best to keep your distance. And avoid all things that remind you of them – that old cassette, their ratty t shirt that you used to wear on lazy Sunday afternoons, that movie you both watched while you cried and they snored with their head on your lap – avoid them like the plague!
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7. Meet new people
Not with the intention of seeing them romantically or even dating, but just friendship. Start with simple things – make new friends, hang out with them, and spend time with them doing new things. The best part about making new friends during this phase of your life is that they don’t know anything about your broken relationship status to make comments or offer support or bring them up in conversations. It’s truly a blessing to find people who share your values and beliefs, and who gel with your personality. Make as many new friends as possible.
8. Don’t try to get in touch with them
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As much as your heart nudges you to pick up that phone and dial those familiar digits, don’t. This will bring nothing but heartache for you, trust me. Don’t call them, don’t text them, don’t heart their posts on Instagram, don’t like their pictures on Facebook, don’t mail them – just don’t! Literally, do NOT contact them, at all. If you want to know how to forget someone you once loved, then stick to this step at all times.
9. Block and delete them from your friends’ list
As much this might hurt, it’s a necessary exercise to rid your mind of this person and the love you once felt for them. Cut them out of your online life by unfriending them on Facebook, unfollowing them on Twitter and Instagram, and even Snapchat. If you don’t, it’s a near-constant temptation to stalk them online to see what they’re up to. It’ll only make you feel worse – whether they’ve moved on or suffering the same as you. It’s a very hard thing to stop yourself from typing in their name in the search box, but it’ll get easier as time passes by. Trust me, there will come a day when you no longer feel the need to keep apprised of the happenings in their life. It will come far sooner than you think, yeah?
10. Write your feelings down
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You might not be very articulate on paper, and that’s okay. The point is to get you to pen down your feelings, your emotions, your inner turmoil as they come to you. This is a positive way of channeling your rage, dilemma, and all the things you’re experiencing. This is also a way for you to process your feelings and maybe even come to terms with some of them. Sooner or later, you’ll gain enough momentum and you won’t be able to stop the barrage of feelings that begin to pour out of you.
11. Set goals and work towards them
Focus your energies into pushing yourself to do more, be more. So set yourself goals; start with small ones and work your way towards bigger, grander ones. It can be something as simple as committing yourself to exercising for thirty minutes every day. The point is for these goals to help you through this phase and move on. And write about what you set yourself for that day and how you achieved it, in your journal.
12. Travel
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Pack your bags, get out, and see the world. There’s nothing as soothing as travel. It’s a balm to a weary soul. It has the power to rejuvenate you and get you out of your funk in no time at all. It helps you learn new things about yourself, about the place you visit, and about life itself. It doesn’t matter where you plan to go to, just as long as you travel. Once you experience what all the world has to offer, you’ll want to hit yourself upside the head for wasting time on yearning for something clearly not meant to be.
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13. Give it time
Yeah, yeah, everyone and their uncle says this, but it’s true. Time really does have the capacity to heal all things, including your broken heart. It might take days, or weeks, or months even, but you will eventually get to a point where you won’t be hung up on that one person who pined for a long time, but would actually look forward to facing life head on and making it on your own. Time sure is the best answer to the question of how to forget someone you once loved.
It isn’t easy to forget someone you loved with all of your heart, who gave you so much to remember. But with some effort and these above tips, you will get there – eventually. Even if takes a long time, it’s worth the effort.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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