Spooning, for those unfortunate people who have no idea what it is, is the act of cuddling with your partner in bed, or on the sofa, or in any other place that allows you to be in a horizontal position without getting arrested. It is conventionally thought of as a position in which one partner holds the other from the back, with their stomach facing their partner’s back. It is like a hug, except you are lying down and it can last forever because it is the best thing ever.
The joys of spooning don’t end with just lying down and cuddling with your partner. Spooning usually happens after you have gotten naughty, and if that’s not the case, then it is a great way to initiate sex (but only when you do it right). That is essentially what is going to be discussed here. One of the best things about spooning is that it helps you physically relax, because you are holding your loved one as close as possible. However, it also has health benefits. It reduces stress, it helps cure insomnia, and it makes your life better in general, so there is no way you shouldn’t be spooning.
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Spooning, like most other things in life, requires practise, and must be done right in order to reap maximum results. When you spoon your partner in the right way, and figure out exactly how to spoon, you can not only boost intimacy for immediate gratification, but actually make your relationship with your partner stronger and connect with them more emotionally, making you more permanently intimate.
Here is how you can ensure that your love life becomes generally awesome by learning how to spoon.
1. Decide who will be the big spoon and the small spoon
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Before you can settle down into your spooning position, you have to decide who will be the bigger spoon and who will be the smaller spoon. The person who hugs from the back is called the bigger spoon, and the person who has their back facing their partner is the smaller spoon. There is no hard and fast rule about men being the larger spoon. It usually depends on your emotional condition right now, because the bigger spoon automatically takes the more protective stance towards the smaller spoon. So, if your man has had a bad day, the best cure is possibly spooning with him, with you as the bigger spoon.
2. Choose the position you are most comfortable with
This forms the essence of your technique. The whole point of spooning is being super comfortable – enough to either fall asleep or to feel horny. You need to figure out where to place your arms, your legs, your head, your hands, and every other body part, so that you become comfortable instead of awkward. It might be difficult initially trying to figure out how exactly you fit. However, it is best if you don’t toss around too much, because it can get quite annoying for your partner if you are constantly shifting around in bed, because they are likely to get jostled too.
3. Do not hesitate to change your position when your arm (or any other body part) falls asleep
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When you are spooning with another person, it is completely natural to shift your weight onto that person, or sleep on their arm or have your legs linked. Biologically, it is not possible to stay in a single position without moving. If you do, your nerves get tingly and your limbs tend to fall asleep. If such a thing happens, it is important to change your position, because having numb limbs is a pretty big turn-off. That will become the only thing you keep thinking about. So, to boost intimacy, it is best if you change your position when you start feeling uncomfortable. You are sure to fall into place with your partner again.
4. Try out different ways of spooning
There is no one way to spoon. You need to try out different positions to find out which one is the best for you and your partner. For example, the fetal position is one where both partners face each other, but almost curl into a ball so that they are in physical contact with each other, but not necessarily in the wrong places where things could get very awkward very fast.
5. Kiss occasionally while you cuddle
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Kissing is How to Boost Intimacy 101. If there is anything that could make spooning better, then it is kissing. When you are spooning, you are already in an intimate position. When you kiss your partner occasionally, whether it is on the neck, or on the hands or on their head, you are bound to make the experience even more enjoyable, and it might even lead to some action later on.
Suggested read: 9 intimacy exercises for couples to build a stronger connection
6. Do not lose contact with some of the more important body parts
Even though you might need to change positions and move around sometimes when you are spooning, you need to ensure that you don’t lose contact of some of the important body parts, to retain that feeling of intimacy. There are some essential focus points on the body like hands, feet, waist, etc., which are sensitive places which automatically incite love and affection. No matter how you spoon, make sure you are in proper contact with your partner.
7. Use spooning as foreplay
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Spooning is one of the most underrated forms of foreplay ever. You are constantly touching each other, and you are cuddling, and you have access to most of the sensitive places, and while spooning you can do pretty much whatever you want. The right touch, the right words, the right moves – are all you need to initiate the foreplay for even better action.
8. Stroke your partner’s hair while you spoon
There are some things that are tried and tested sensual acts – for example, hair stroking. Touching someone’s hair makes them feel loved, cared for, and releases all the right hormones, which makes a person feel comfortable and relaxed. This might or might not amount to foreplay, but it is a great way to increase your intimacy when you are spooning with your partner.
9. Breathe in sync
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If you are trying to figure out how to spoon, you need to make an active effort occasionally, because some things might not come naturally. For example, controlling your breathing to match your partner’s is an excellent way to feel more intimate and connected with whoever you are cuddling with. When you are that close to each other, breathing becomes an important thing to think about (it sounds weird, but I speak from experience). You might become distracted if your partner is breathing slowly, and you are breathing rapidly. Breathing in sync has a calming, meditative effect that is guaranteed to boost your intimacy.
10. Hold the right places when you are spooning with your partner
Hand placement is an important factor that you have to consider when you are planning on spooning with your partner. Keep your hand in a safe place, like their arm, waist, or under their pillow. Places where you should not be putting your arm when you start spooning include their bum, their face, their neck, etc., simply because after a point in time, after you have held on to such places for way too long, both of you are going to feel super awkward.
11. General pointers when you are the big spoon
When you are the big spoon, you have certain responsibilities when you are spooning, so that you can do your part in boosting intimacy between the two of you. As the big spoon, you are automatically in a position of power, and you are expected to do most of the work. Firstly, you must not suffocate the small spoon, because when they bury their face in your chest, you might cut off their air supply in an attempt to hug them. Also, you must hug them and hold them in the right places so that things don’t get weird and they move away from you. You should also think about your general comfort, so that you don’t freeze and get cramps in an attempt to make them comfortable.
Suggested read: How exactly does a love hate relationship work?
12. General pointers when you are the little spoon
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You might be surprised to know that even the little spoon has certain responsibilities. For starters, irrespective of whether you are a man or a woman, you have to ensure that your hair doesn’t get into your partner’s facial pores. You also have to find the right place to keep your hand, so that the big spoon doesn’t feel stuck or uncomfortable.
When you master the art of how to spoon the right way, you are bound to boost intimacy in your relationship; an intimacy which lasts even after you have stopped spooning.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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