Finding your loved one is an exciting process, it starts with a small crush slowly working its way into lengthy conversations, sleepless nights, and eventually into that feeling of delight called love. We’ve all had those perfect moments with our partners and have secretly wondered how to cherish them and make it last forever. We wish and expect the cheerfulness to stay forever. But, in reality, one may contemplate if this is how a relationship really works. In the beginning, it may seem like your story is a fairy tale, and that, just like any Disney prince and princess, you are meant to be and will live happily ever after. Sadly, there haven’t been enough stories by Disney that depict the reality post the ‘happily ever after’ stage. Once the magic of true love’s first kiss wears off, you are struck by reality. Not all days are going to be blissful with the amalgamation of heart-shaped red balloons and pillows; there are going to be times when you and your partner will have to undergo that moment of truth and testify for yourselves that the love still exists.
Love is strange and lovers can turn into strangers if they don’t work on their relationship. Problems arise when there is a mismatch of expectations versus reality. A lot of people tend to go with the flow; in my personal opinion, that is by far the worst relationship advice one can ever get. While there isn’t anything wrong with that, sustaining a healthy relationship might need a lot more work than just going with the flow. It requires conscious efforts, working with, and on each other, and reworking until the cycle repeats.
Suggested read: Rebuilding trust in a relationship – the step-by-step guide
The can be many reasons for the increase of separation, conflicts, and turbulence in your relationship. Therefore, you must constantly steer the wheel for smooth sailing. Here are some tips on how to make a relationship last forever.
1. Communicate, and do it in every form there is
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Most people aren’t mind readers, so it’s important to ensure that you are communicating, and further still, communicating exactly what you feel. Oftentimes, we expect the other person to somehow infer our thoughts while we say things that we don’t mean. As complicated as the above sentence is, doing that on a regular basis may lead to a lot of confusion. The most effective way to communicate is to do it face-to-face like two adults, and by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and trying to understand what they mean. Other forms of communication can also be leaving handwritten notes, sending long loving e-mails, sending flowers, hugging, holding hands, and short phone calls to exchange “sweet nothings,” can work like a charm.
2. Listen closely
You may not believe that this is something that will hold your relationship together and make it last forever, but it has been proven that a loving relationship will sustain itself when both partners talk and hear each other out. The connection is lost when you stop listening, and by that I mean not just hearing what the other person has to say, but also trying to read between the lines and understanding what they actually mean. You should wait for the other person to finish their thoughts before you begin talking. If you don’t, you’ll fail to understand the needs of your partner, and over the years, I’ve learned the hard way that I must let the other person speak and before I pass a judgment, I must understand what they truly mean.
3. Stop hovering and maintain some healthy distance
Image source: Shutterstock
Yeah, we get it that you are truly, madly, and deeply in love with your partner and want to do things together always. But sometimes you both deserve a break from each other. Being with someone 24/7 could lead to an overdose of each other, and can cause conflicts and resentment to rise. It helps when partners occasionally do things without each other.
For instance, you may have common friends, but ensure that you have friends of your own too, to hang out with. Allowing each other that space helps strengthening the bond you already have. Every now and then, my husband and I like to hang out with our respective friends, we enjoy not having the other person around and sure enough, by the end of the night, we find ourselves exchanging text messages about how we miss each other. A great idea would also be to do an all-girls trip or boys trip once a year, which would mean a short break for the two of you. Trust me, when you come back from this trip, you’ll want the other person more than ever.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. It’s true!
4. Support
Every relationship has its fair share of ups and downs, be it emotionally, financially, or mentally. Couples tend to lean on their respective partners for support, and sticking by your partner in these times will benefit the relationship and make it last forever. Remember the vows you took for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. A lot of couples admit that once they have gotten over a rough patch together, they come out being stronger than ever, leading them to fall in love all over again.
5. Chase
Image source: Shutterstock
Do you remember the first few months when you just began talking to each other? The incessant messages and phone calls, movies over the weekend, and great sex, probably come to mind. Women sure love to be chased and men appreciate the attention. So get to it already and repeat the things you did for each other during that stage of the relationship.
You could start by visiting the restaurant you frequented during your courtship or the park you met in and spent hours talking to each other and holding hands. Reinvent the passion in bed and try new tactics that stimulate each other.
6. Ditch the “I” syndrome
I have always been a self-standing woman ever since I began working. For me, nothing was more important than me. Decision making was easy because I didn’t have to seek anyone’s approval and was purely dependent on what I felt about anything. I’m certain that this has been the case with most of us until we find ourselves in a relationship. That’s when “we” enters the picture.
When I began dating my boyfriend who is now my husband, I would often overlook the fact that “we” were in it together. For instance, if we had to go watch a movie, I would be very vocal about my choice, completely ignoring what his preference was. Many times, we watched chick-flicks (based on my preference obviously!), which, I later learned from him was probably the most painful 2 hours that he sat through! I would feel guilty each time, but I wouldn’t know how to put him before myself. So I started making a conscious effort to always ask him what he wanted before I told him what I preferred.
Suggested read: 33 things you NEED to do to breakup-proof your relationship
7. Value their sentiments
We all carry different opinions within ourselves about the world or perhaps certain things. In a relationship, it’s important that you identify those things that hold sentimental value to your partner and show tolerance and respect towards it.
8. Pick an activity to break the monotony
Image source: Shutterstock
Whether you like it or not, human beings are creatures that succumb to routine. We have a time to do everything, from waking up, to jogging, to doing laundry, and watching television. Sometimes it seems like we are human robots that have been meticulously designed to function in a specific way. So where is the love, and how to make a relationship last forever amidst the commotion? Pick an ad hoc activity that you both enjoy or have never done before. For instance, volunteering at the nearby NGO or paying a visit to the seniors’ center. Long drives, trekking, or playing a sport at your club are also good options. The experience will be rejuvenating and will most likely ignite that much needed spark in your relationship.
A few months back, I was cleaning all my old folders on my laptop and I stumbled upon a whole bunch of photographs that dated way back to when we first met each other. So, my husband and I sat down together and looked at all the pictures and recollected those memories and had a good laugh too. That simple activity made us realize how much we had grown into this relationship and made us value each other even more.
9. Let go
One of the best pieces of relationship advice I’ve ever come across is to let go of anger, grudges, your ego, and be more accepting towards one another. In short, this means compromise. Don’t we all hate that word? But it’s true; one cannot be too rigid, and over a period of time, it’s essential to give in to what the other person wants for smooth sailing. You don’t have to always win an argument or be right. Sometimes, accept the other person’s opinion and lose the stubbornness. This will go a long way. When your partner sees that you are taking steps to accommodate their ideologies, they will also try to be more accommodating. It’s give and take!
10. Laugh at each other, but harder at yourself
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Life is too short to take yourself too seriously. A little time spent laughing together will no doubt help lighten things up, and being able to laugh at yourself is a quality that will go a long way. Make fun of each other in private and laugh together. We all have those inside jokes that make us giggle; make more of those.
11. Eat together
Although it may not be possible to have all three meals together, try to make it a habit to eat one meal together every day. This will give both of you that much-needed time to bond or go over your day’s activities. This will result in better communication. If you have children, then make it a point to have a meal with them included too.
Suggested read: 10 real reasons why relationships are hard
12. Don’t wash your dirty linen in public
The Internet is full of rage these days, and with everyone having access to social media, sometimes you have to be mindful about what you post out there with regards to your life. I’m sure you have seen people post ridiculous things about each other after a silly fight. If you want to know in short how to make a relationship last forever, just remember, don’t make your private life public!
My husband and I firmly believe that if we are in conflict with each other, we must resolve that behind closed doors and never let anyone know about it. Not even your friends. No matter what the fight is about. This makes us respect the other person and not put that person down during their brief moment of weakness, because you are most likely to sort your issues and go back to the person. You may have noticed how you suddenly become judgmental about someone when they come and tell you details about their issues and fights. As a couple, you two are one; therefore, you must be careful not to let down the other in front of a third person.
So, if you aren’t already doing these things, it may be wise to start now. It’s easy to find a partner but it might take a tad bit more to keep them. With a little bit of fine-tuning you will surely be able to make it last forever.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
