A love triangle is a complicated situation to be in while you’re dating. That’s because it involves three people, just like the points in a triangle. A love triangle is not necessarily a solid relationship; it could also just be feelings for two people at the same time. Or feelings that are reciprocated but not given closure, something that’s been left hanging. Whatever the situation, a love triangle can be tricky.
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You would’ve watched a lot of movies where people have feelings for more than one person at the same time. On the other hand, it could also be that, while one person likes the other, the other person likes a third person. These situations can drive you crazy and it may be hard to explain your plight to anyone.
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They leave you confused, frustrated, and it could sometimes take a toll on your emotional well-being too.
Relationships get ruined, people are misunderstood, and sometimes it could be really taxing just to face these people. It’s difficult to behave maturely when you are required to. But when you don’t, you’ll end up in a pretty messy situation and no one wants that.
Generally, there are three types of love triangles:
- When two people are chasing one person
- When one person likes two people
- When person A likes B, B knows it but B is in love with C
How to deal with a love triangle
Typically, love triangles are a result of reciprocation too, because if not, it’s just a crush and not really a love triangle. Whatever the situation is, here are a few ways that will help you know how to deal with a love triangle in an appropriate and mature manner.
1. Identify the situation
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It’s always easier to chart it out when you are counseling a friend. You tend to see matters in black and white. However, when it comes to your own life, you are surprised with the amount of grey areas that are present. One of the first things to do is to sit down, analyze, and identify the whole situation. Understand what your role is in the scenario in front of you. It’s probably difficult to do so, but without tackling this problem, you won’t be able to surpass the other hurdles that come in a love triangle.
2. Who do you like better?
The question is simple but the answer may not necessarily be that way. It’s tough. Come on, we understand. But you have to ask yourself this question. Not once, not twice but as many times as possible until your heart agrees that the answer is indeed right and truthful. You can’t say ‘both,’ even if that’s what you are thinking because no person can like/love two people equally. There will always be an inch less or more. It’s important to see that clearly. So keep asking yourself the question and it will definitely help you deal with the love triangle you’re currently starring in.
3. Consider your options
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Plan A isn’t working out, plan B failed miserably, so what are your other options? It’s very important to play out the possible different scenarios in your mind. Having a good imagination always helps while doing something like this. But even if you don’t have one, you should be able to think about your options in an unbiased way.
4. Is there a real connection
Often, our eyes see what we want to see, ears hear what we think is right. Don’t get carried away by what your heart desires. Do a reality check. Find out for sure if there is any connection at all between you two, a real connection. There will be clues to figure this out, so go find them. That takes me to the next point – to ask your friends.
5. Ask your friends
Sometimes we overlook certain facts because we are ‘blinded’ by love and other feelings which are hard to ascertain. That’s when good friends pitch in. A third person who isn’t biased and isn’t involved in the triangle can help you figure out if they see any real connection between you two, or if you must really continue forward or simply drop the matter. Talking to your friends would help in this instance.
Suggested read: 12 ways you’re going to get caught dating two girls at once
6. Understand the other person’s feelings
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Whatever the other person’s decision is, you must learn to accept and respect it. Try to understand why they are doing that. What the reasons are, how they feel or think about it, how they might have taken that decision, so on and so forth. Think about their rationale and give them the space to make their decision.
7. Be true to yourself and the other person
Sometimes, you feel obligated or you simply feel bad to say NO. By simply committing to something you don’t support 100 percent or feel strongly about, you’d be cheating yourself and the other person. So, be truthful about your feelings; say it as it is. Often, people have turned their lives into a miserable hell only because they couldn’t express their true feelings. You need to speak up and speak out.
8. Talk about it
Don’t bottle up your feelings until a point that someone has to crack you open to find out what’s really inside. Talk about how you feel, talk to the person involved. Talking is one of the best ways on how to deal with a love triangle, and one of the mature ways too! Often, people hesitate to talk about things and simply hold onto their real emotions. It gets suppressed to a point where they become numb and have no more feelings left inside them. That’s scary, isn’t it? Don’t let that happen to you. Bring out how you feel on the inside, it will make you feel light and will take a load off your chest. So speak about it, face your fears.
9. Think of the repercussions
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It’s hard to think of how a decision can impact things or lives. But you need to mentally prepare yourself for every scenario, good or bad. Think of the after effects of your decision. Does it, in fact, benefit anyone? Does someone have to sacrifice their happiness? Is it at the cost of you being unhappy? Think thoroughly of the repercussions a decision can have on people around you, and on you, obviously!
10. Acceptance
No matter who you choose or who wins the jackpot, accept it gracefully. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Don’t be a baby and sulk over it. When you begin to accept the truth, life becomes easier to live. Start with yourself, accept yourself and then move onto others.
11. Take care of yourself
Don’t forget to live life as you go. Chasing something that is unattainable can be fascinating in the beginning. It could also become an obsession and could take a toll on your mental health. Don’t let anything affect you too much. People have killed others and themselves for love; don’t be as crazy as that. Take care of yourself. If the love triangle has left you hurt, take time to heal. Don’t rush into anything as a way of shoving the hurt away. take your time and let it go. And more importantly, don’t forget to live your life. There are a lot of things in life to look forward to. Don’t lose hope; start loving yourself.
Suggested read: How to date multiple women at once without being a jerk
12. Move on; if not, seek professional help
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Love triangles can be devastating; it could be a happy ending or can swing in the other extreme direction. Don’t lose heart, but try to put it behind you and move on. If you are unable to deal with it by yourself, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Usually, people are reluctant to get professional help for fear of being judged by others or by themselves. Because they have the wrong notion that only ‘crazy people’ need counseling. That’s not true at all. Sometimes your family and good friends aren’t enough to pull you out from an unfortunate situation. So, identify your mental state and judge for yourself if you need additional help.
Love triangles are fun when you are have the happy ending. But let’s face it; not all love triangles end in happily ever afters. Some leave ugly scars and become unforgettable. You need to be strong enough to face anything that comes your way. Be prepared for what’s yet to come. Don’t do something foolish that you’ll regret later in life, because one day, you will look back and think that it all happened for the good. That day, you’ll think it was so stupid of you and you’d be in a place where you could laugh it off as something inane.
Tell us your story in the comments below. Have you ever been in a love triangle? How did you cope with it?
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