Despite the fact that dating has become a very common phenomenon, a lot of people still seem to lack confidence when it comes to actually spending time with their date, especially if it is the first time they are meeting. For people who have a little trouble figuring out how to be confident on a date, getting ready for one can be a distressing and nerve-wracking experience. You know that you will be meeting someone special and going out on a deliberately romantic outing with them, and you have no idea how to handle yourself and your nerves in the process, making a complete mess of your peace of mind.
However, it is also true, that confidence is key when you are going on date. If you are a bundle of nerves and forget how to speak, your date is definitely not going to be impressed. However, it is also true that if you act like an arrogant prick, your date is not going to like you much either. So it is important to strike a balance.
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It is normal to feel slightly nervous when you are going out on a date, especially when you like the person that you are going out with. A lot. Although there are a lot of encouraging pieces of dating advice out there, they tend to overwhelm you to some extent.
Here are 12 simple, hassle-free ways you can learn how to be confident on a date, with instant gratification.
1. Dress like the fashionista that you are
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The trick is to dress like you are a fashion prodigy, and it legit took you 10 seconds to put your outfit for the evening together, even if you have been racking your brain for weeks, trying to find the perfect look. When you dress right, and dress comfortably, you will not be conscious of what you are wearing in front of your date. Take out the things that you always tuck away in your closet, reserving them for those “special occasions.” Well, this occasion is special enough, so take out that cute little dress, or that expensive tie, and let your personality do the rest of the talking.
2. Make sure you are in a good mood
Making sure that you are in a good mood before you actually go meet your date for your time together, is dating advice 101. You have to make sure that you are feeling genuinely happy when you are with them, for which you might need to engage in some pre-date activities. But there is no need to panic. You can do whatever makes you happy, whether it is yoga, good music, watching movies or taking a relaxing shower. When your mind is contented, your smile will come easily.
3. Be generous with your smile and your laughter
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This brings me to my next point, which is, when you are with your date, do not be uptight and poker-faced. Make sure that you smile, even unconsciously, and laugh with abandon. Just like yawns, laughter is contagious. One of the reasons people feel so nervous when they go on a date is because they have no idea how things will go because they have no control over the atmosphere and the situation. However, if you are in a happy and content state of mind, you can actually control the atmosphere of your date, and put your partner at ease, and in the process, boost your own confidence.
4. Give yourself a pep talk in front of the mirror
No, this is not silly. For a couple of minutes initially, you might feel stupid and lame when you stand in front of a mirror and give yourself an encouraging pep talk, but people have been doing it for years and years now, because it actually works when you tell yourself out loud that everything is going to be okay. Talking to your own reflection is also a great way of understanding yourself better, and when you know yourself inside out, confidence will come automatically, because you won’t be surprising yourself (the good way or the bad way) when you are actually in front of your date.
5. Focus on all the good qualities you have
Now, what could you possibly say to yourself in front of a mirror, or when you are trying to amp up your confidence when you are on your way and are basically dying of nervousness? One useful tip is to list all your positive qualities, and be generous with yourself. There must be some reason why you still have a social life and friends and family who love you, and a date you seem to like a lot? Think of all the good things about your character and your physical appearance, and very soon, you will confidently be thinking, “Hey, not bad.”
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6. Be realistic about your shortcomings
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This might sound counter-productive to what you need to achieve before a date with your partner, which is confidence, but deliberately spelling out all the things that you think is wrong with you and your character and your behavior can actually make you more confident. After you have figured out everything that might potentially be wrong with you, try and work those things out and find a solution. Even if you can’t, you should know that you have come to terms with all your shortcomings, and no nasty surprise on your part can put you on the spot when you are actually on your date.
7. The right amount of dressing up
Just because you are going out on a date with someone you have already imagined yourself married to in your mind, doesn’t mean that you will turn up in a cravat and a top hat or a ball gown and face mask. Okay, I might have been slightly exaggerating, but the point is that you have to curb your excitement and nervousness, which oftentimes manifest themselves in things like makeup and dressing up, before you go for your date, so that you are not fidgety and nervous about your outlandish appearance.
8. Enjoy the date and the experience
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One of the reasons people don’t know how to be confident on a date is because they have a tendency to over-think everything when the person they are with is talking to them. Everything the other person says has to have a hidden meaning, everything they do is supposed to be symbolic, their very diction is bound to be laced with innuendos, and any slip up is a sign of a doomed future. Well, I have news. None of the above is true. When you learn to enjoy living in the moment when you are on your date, and stop thinking about the hidden meaning behind their words and actions and what might happen in the future, your confidence is bound to increase in leaps and bounds.
9. Be comfortable in your own skin
When you are nervous, you tend to take a lot of bad decisions, including experimenting with things that you have never tried before, whether it is in terms of character, behavior or physical appearance. The problem is, when you do engage in experimental things, you tend to think only about that element during your entire date, and whether it is suiting you or not and whether your date likes it or not and things like that, which only makes you increasingly nervous. The trick is to be completely comfortable in your own skin.
10. Do not be afraid to be yourself
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If you are not sure how you can be comfortable in your own skin, the answer is pretty simple and straightforward. Be yourself, as clichéd as it may sound. When you laugh too loud, when you dress too garishly, when you eat things you don’t like, and when you try to be someone you think your date will like, you are only lying to yourself and your partner. Only when you have nothing to hide, and no extra effort to put in your behavior and appearance, you feel like you have the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders.
11. Don’t try too hard to be careful and prim and proper
When you are too careful, you become extra nervous, and any little confidence that you had flies right out the window. The only solution to this is to be completely laid back and casual and confident about everything that you do, whether you are eating and you accidentally spill ketchup on your clothes, or you fall flat on your face. Truth is, it isn’t as embarrassing as you think it is. In fact, every time you screw up, you make memories. If that doesn’t boost your confidence, I don’t know what will.
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12. Remember that your date is human too
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The bottom line is that you have to remember that you date too is human, and they too are also probably as nervous about meeting and going out with you, as you are, as absurd and unbelievable as it may sound. The thought itself should give you all the confidence you need to sail through a special evening with your special person.
Confidence is not such a hard thing to get when you are going out on a date, because after all, all it requires is impressing another flawed, possibly nervous, and under-confident human being.
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