Yes, you wished you’d never ever again have to see the filthy face of that sleazeball who cheated on you but I bet there are some things you’d really love to tell that b*stard who you wished you could actually get a real confession from by putting a gun to his head. And why not, he couldn’t keep away from using his own li’l squirt gun, could he? Well, yep, IT was small…and on that note, let’s go all out and vent a li’l more…

Here are all the things you should throw to his face:

1. Cheated by accident, you say?

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Oh boy… falling off the bike doesn’t count as an accident, right? But tripping over and falling into a vagina sure does!

C’mon dude, be a little better with your imagination.

2. I’d take you back but then I won’t be a <beep> good enough!

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I was a <beep> coz I was never ‘good enough!’ Well guess what, I am just following through!

3. Ah! You’re really fast with changing girls. Must be on steroids!

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You know how steroids increase hyperactivity. Right!

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Suggested read: 10 problems only girls with big b**bs shall understand

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4. You always said you were stupid. Now I know you are!

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I severely overestimated the number of cells in your brain.

5. After every single time you let me down, you’d cut me out! Honestly, it didn’t bring any benefit!

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And now I have proof- I hope the ‘friend with benefits’ you have knows the benefits are temporary too!

6. You know it is great that you went and found your release somewhere else. You weren’t any good anyway!

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Guess I can now replace squirt guns from my arsenal with REAL bazookas!

7. Wanna know what’s happening about us now?

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<kick you in the family jewels> That’s what- oh, I am sorry- did that hurt?

8. Oh- you love me so much you’d find it in your heart to forgive me if I did this, eh?

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Is that your twisted way of availing your ‘once a cheater, always a repeater’ pass?

9. Apparently you made a mistake, I dated one!

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And he is entitled to know. (So is his next girl maybe. Poor one)!

10. I thought your stubble was prickly, you’re a complete cactus instead!

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Yes, it did hurt a lot. More than the prickly stubble this time!

11. The time she spends with you will be a total waste of her important stuff… like makeup!

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Coz he WILL do the same, and mark it… he will!

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Suggested read: 10 problems all women with small b**bs face

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12. Seems like I did not influence you much. After all, a hard on doesn’t account for personal growth!

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Had he grown a little, he’d have known better.

Hope he rots in hell!

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License