Dating a feminist is something many people run away from. Somehow, the word ‘feminist’ has become controversial and some people get the notion of feminism really wrong. Feminists are people who believe in equality between the sexes. They are not man-haters, they are people who think that women deserve the same opportunities as men and it is important that this sentiment is respected.
They do understand that men are physically stronger, but stupid notions like ‘women can’t drive,’ or ‘men are obviously better at math,’ or ‘men cannot cry,’ are things that they do not believe in. This day-to-day discrimination is something that they are against and they will not tolerate it.
Suggested read: 10 things you MUST know before dating a feminist
You might be in a relationship with a woman who identifies herself as a feminist and you might identify as one too. Here are a few things that you may have learned from the relationship.
1. You are always allowed to have emotions
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In a strictly conventional relationship, the man is the ‘macho’ one and the woman is the one who feels and expresses a lot more. But a feminist is going to show you that it’s okay for you to express your emotions as well. She is going to let you have your moments and is going to embrace them like her own. She is never going to look at you any differently because you had a break down or if you are insecure about something trivial.
She will actually understand that it is human to express emotions and lets you do it as frequently and easily as possible.
2. You know she has your back just like you do
One of the best dating tips you will receive when you are dating a feminist is to never underestimate her. You know that she will always help you if there is a problem; you know you can count on her to help you work through it and solve it. You will learn along the way that it is all very normal to her.
Just like you would do it for her whenever she needs it, and happily – she is also going to do the same for you and with the same sentiment.
3. Sex is a two-way process with them
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Feminists do not want to make the man do all the hard work between the sheets, they will also ensure that they get what they want from it. While they will ensure that you have a good time, they are also not going to make sex just about your climax. This is one of the initial things that you are going to learn about her if you two are sexually active with each other.
The best part is that you will both be working to make your sex life enjoyable for each other.
4. She will never make you run around unnecessarily
She wants a boyfriend who is going to be there for her and also take care of her, not a driver who is going to run around the entire city for her. If she can drive herself, or manage with public transport, she is going to do it. For all you know, she will tell you to relax if she doesn’t see the point in you having to pick her up and drop her back home.
But, if she realizes that it is not a hassle for you, and it is convenient for you – she won’t hesitate in hopping into your car and traveling with you.
5. She takes her career seriously
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If you are a professional and would like to date someone who is serious about her career too, dating a feminist is the best dating advice you will receive. When you are dating her, you are going to see her work through the night if necessary, she is just as efficient and will ensure that she is not slacking off.
Isn’t this the best part? She is financially independent and also understands how important your work is to you.
6. You can kiss the stereotypes goodbye
Well, she won’t laugh at you if you are taking bubble baths, and she might be the one who is mowing the lawn. While you cannot handle your drinks, she might be able to drink up like a boss and ensure that both of you get home safely. In fact, you can actually count on her to pick you up if your car has broken down or if you have gotten too wasted at a boys’ night out.
While in a relationship with a feminist, you can forget all the typical boy-girl things and let loose. This is only going to ensure that you two have a better relationship in general.
Suggested read: 25 male celebrities who rock as feminists
7. You don’t always need to be her shoulder
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She is having a bad day at work, and you are having a busy one. She might want to call you and rant about it to you because she knows you will listen to her, calm her down, and she can get back to work. But if you do not have the time for it, you can tell her that upfront. You do not have to be her shoulder to cry on or lending ear all the time, and she is going to understand it.
Don’t be surprised if she laughs at her workday at night and you are not going to feel apologetic about it at all, because it is actually no big deal.
8. She is going to be punctual
We are not implying that feminists cannot ever be late, but they are not the kinds who are going to use their gender for being late. Your feminist girlfriend is going to be punctual and will roll her eyes if you aren’t on time.
9. You cannot dictate anything to them, but they will listen to reason
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The best part about dating a feminist is that they are mostly logical. If you just tell them that they are not allowed to do something simply because they are women, they are not going to listen to you. But if you give them a logical reason as to why they cannot do that particular activity or thing – they are going to understand and also ensure that they keep everything you have said in mind.
This means that neither partner in these kinds of relationships will be able to dominate.
10. She will trust your account of a sexual assault
She knows that men can also be sexually assaulted and it is possible that women can be the ones to blame. She will sympathize with you when you tell her about your experiences, and will understand your account of the story. If your relationship is strong enough, she might not even ask you for an explanation.
Isn’t that what relationships are about?
11. She is not a man-hater
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She loves you, and you know it. But you are not the only man in the world. She’ll happily meet your friends and family, and may speak up if she finds something they say or do to be offensive. An aggressive feminist is someone who will teach them a lesson, and a passive one is only going to disconnect from these people.
She will never tell you to not hang out with them, but she might prefer to not always come along. Also, she might not hate the person that your friend is, but may disagree with their thoughts and opinions.
12. You relationship is a balance
When you are dating a feminist, you know that almost everything is going to be equal. She will take up responsibility for the both of you if needed, and she will let you do the same as well. The two of you will develop a well-balanced bond that isn’t based on gender expectations or stereotypes.
If she demands to be treated like a princess at times, she is also going to make you feel like the king of the world on the others.
Suggested read: Why I am not a feminist… and what that doesn’t make me a sexist or a misogynist
For all of you who are already in an awesome relationship with your feminist girlfriends, you are lucky. For the ones who think of it as a suicide mission, you need to understand that it is not always about the sandwiches. She will cook for you if you need it, she will let you cook if you want to. There is no ordering, no dictating, no mind games, and nothing that will overpower the love in your relationship.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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