Have you ever thought things were blooming in a perfect relationship, but suddenly it felt different? It hurts, it stings your heart, and the worst part is that it is just so hard to figure out what went wrong at all.
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Well, you are not alone here, dear. Cutting the suspense short, all of this might be happening because you’ve just been downgraded from the perfect girlfriend material you once used to be and you don’t even know it. So, if you are ready to have a little insight to how the little things we overlook affect our guys, here we go.
Suggested read: 10 compelling reasons why you should NOT get married to your girlfriend
1. When all you want to do is dream with open eyes
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We all grow up listening to these fairy tales and dreaming about the romances we wish to live for ourselves. But when you try to float between the parallels of the real relationship that you have and the one you’ve dreamt about, all it gets you is dissatisfaction in the end. You can’t see him as the fun guy he is and expect him to be someone that sadly he’s not. After a while he can’t just deal with it anymore, and that’s when you are demoted from a fun girlfriend material to someone he’s with just out of habit. And there goes your “forever after” dream.
2. Personal space – well, what?
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We won’t admit, but the meaning of personal space always gets lost in translation. He loves you, you love him, all right! But it doesn’t mean you two have to always be together just because you are in LOVE! Why do you feel him distancing from you every time you’re together? Maybe he is realizing he needs some space.. We have to understand that everybody needs alone time and it’s just not fair to expect someone to always be with you. So, look at a little personal space like a healthy need that only makes him miss you even more.
3. How do I know you love me?
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Do you always use an epic pouting face and twinkling eyes when asking if he loves you? Do you love me? How do I know you love me? Sounds familiar, well I hope it doesn’t because this means the reason your guy is giving up on you is that he’s just had enough already. Nobody can provide someone with constant reassurances of love, it only ends up in doubts of whether there’s any love at all. So, quit it! Just look him in the eyes and you’ll find all the love you’re looking for.
4. Who am I? Say – my princess!
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So you think you’re special and should be, at least to him. And he loves you like that I am sure. But it doesn’t justify the deliberate pampering that you continuously expect of him. He cares for you, but you want him to take care of you. He loves you, but you wish him to show it. This can get really exhausting and can exhaust him, causing him to alter your position to a mere hookup as well. If only you’d put the effort in treating him like your man you’ll never have to ask for his attention like this.
5. Do this and that – Not that, if you please.
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If you two are in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have any life apart from you. He loves you, yes, and you see him as your world, okay, but where does it suggest that you own him? No way, so try and don’t act like you do. It just makes your guy feel trapped with you and makes him question if he should be with you at all. Acting like you own him never makes a man belong to us more, but only a little less every time.
6. The awkward comparison zone
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If you constantly be the breaking-news podcast for what the other guys are doing for their girls, you’d soon land up being just another girl in his life. So, be careful what you wish for!
Suggested read: 10 things you should NEVER say to your girlfriend
7. And you could never get over the ex-s issues
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Get real. People make mistakes and get into relationships that don’t work out as they wanted. So they learn, and move on. There’s no use nagging him with questions like: do you still miss her? Why do you have her photograph in the computer? Why do you still have her number? Or worse, from your end – He never used to neglect me like you. He actually talked to me, unlike you. Bringing up exes like this drives guys crazy, and earn you a direct freefall from the girlfriend material to a hookup status.
8. Oh…have you even seen her…
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It all starts from here and then there’s nothing stopping you from saying anything just to cast down the other girls around him. Well guess what, he has a sense to read people as well. And when he reads you doing this lame and insecure move, all that gets downgraded is your image as a girlfriend material. How would a guy cope up his girl being so unsure of her self? All you need to do is make him feel your love, because when he’s with you, the other girls don’t even exist in his picture.
9. Underestimating the value of understanding
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Are you girlfriend material? Ask yourself this if you can’t even put your trust in him for a second. Relationships and love would all be some fictitious words in a dictionary if not for belief. If you let your insecurities and complexes rule out the understanding and faith you have in him, how could he see any hope for you together? No wonder he’ll get to think of you a hookup. And we don’t want that now, right? So put yourself out there with all the loyalty and confidence you’ve got.
10. But why aren’t you saying anything?
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Nothing can kill a man’s patience more than repetitive nudges to participate in meaningless conversations. You can care all about what that girl next door is wearing, but going all Sherlock Holmes on petty trivia like this might just not be his thing. You never get tired of this, but he does. If “Hmm…,” “Umm….”, “hmm”, and some nods are all you’re getting while trying to engage him in empty talks, then its probably time to take the hint. Remember the language of love is never words.
11. I want the world to know you’re mine
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While going out, do you get ready as if it’s a walk to some pageant? Your public displays of how deeply you’re into him can sometimes be too much for your man. He loves you and he’s yours right now, so don’t try to impress and prove that you’re girlfriend material like this. If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably passed this phase and the expression of love needs to be a lot more personal now. So don’t overdo it. Give it a rest already, and be your beautiful loving self that he’s fallen for at the first place.
12. Why this? Why not that? Just note that…
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And lastly, all this never ending drama is the biggest way you can make any guy question if he should even hook up with a girl like you. If exaggerations and hyperboles are often your favorite figure of speech and you use them lavishly, know that they play on his nerves. Always try to keep away from creating scenes out of nothing. Understand that arguments, shouting, and consistent altercations are something no boyfriend wants. So sometimes, letting something go is the right call to make.
Suggested read: How to avoid a failure to communicate from ruining your relationship
It hurts us to feel lost in a relationship and it hurts even more when you see him heartbroken as well. The best way to save our hearts all this pain is to understand where we went wrong. And it is never a big mistake, which we usually expect to weaken our connection, but rather the little things that we tend to overlook are what really make the difference in love.
Relationships are fragile things where hopes and dreams become intertwined. Dreaming is just fine, and who knows, one day your story might take the magical turn you’re waiting for, just give it the time it needs. Try to enjoy and appreciate what you really have, especially the true happiness that comes from companionship.
So ease up on the frowns and the questions and be your own knight in shining armor on the rescue of the love you love the most. All it takes is you to care enough and you’ll go back to being his beloved girlfriend material that he just can’t live without.
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