know what you are feeling right now. Your heart has been broken into countless pieces and you feel inconsolable. You have this bottomless void in life and you have no idea when you are going to be whole again. There is nothing wrong with feeling like this. You are both fragile and indestructible right now and even though nothing’s making sense – it will, in the coming days. As hard and even impossible as it might sound, you are going to surpass this phase.
I know it because I have been there, done that. When I fell in love for the first time, I thought I could fly. I could do the impossible because I was filled with this never-ending source of energy. I think I just flew too high, like Icarus and burnt my own wings. I lost my control and ruptured more than just my body during my fall. It was my heart that was broken and I knew that I would never love again.
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Where would I find so much of passion and strength? I wanted to touch the sky, but without my wings, I was powerless. It took me a very long time to realize that it wasn’t my love that gave me wings. My sense of self and passion made me fly. I started to overcome that phase by finding love inside me rather than in someone outside my being. Though, in the process, I fell in love with someone in the most unexpected way. Because that is exactly how love is supposed to feel like – effortless.
Now, I know no force in this universe can control something as powerful as love. Don’t convince yourself that you will never love again, because you will. I know that you are bound to meet your soulmate. Just give it some time. Whatever you are feeling right now – it is absolutely fine. Acknowledge your emotions. Let your sadness and anger drive your entire life. Make your whole life a breathing piece of art. Just make a note of the following things before convincing yourself that you will never love again. Everything else will be taken care of on its own.
1. You are not supposed to despise love
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How can you hate something as beautiful as unconditional love? You are a product of love yourself. Don’t hate the person or the feeling. Yes, you had a failed relationship, but it must have given you some of the most beautiful memories of your life as well. Sometimes, people are not bad. You are not supposed to hate love just because someone broke your heart. Think of the bigger picture. Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
2. It’s a phase
Somewhere deep within, even you know that you aren’t going to be like this for the rest of your life. You might be feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness and as of now, coming out of it could be the last thing you can think of. You should understand that everything in our life happens for a reason.
You are supposed to feel this way. The universe must be having a greater plan for you, my friend. Don’t let your sadness blindfold your judgment. Don’t think you will never love again because it’s the hardest thing to do. It is supposed to be tough. You can’t find happiness while staying in your comfort zone.
3. You are going to outgrow yourself
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You are mature enough to know that change is the only constant thing in this world. We can run away from it, but we can’t stop it. A significant change will come into your life. You might not be ready for it, but the universe will throw a curveball and that too in the most unexpected way.
There would come a time when you will look back to this phase and somehow, you would be able to smile. One day, you are going to make a perfect sense of all this mess you are going through right now. Though, getting to that day is the toughest part. You are going to outgrow everyone around you – even yourself.
4. It didn’t work out because you weren’t ready for it
Just think about it! Were you ready to fall in love? Did you fall in love because you were ready or just because you were lonely? Sometimes, we destroy the things we love and maybe, you were going through one of those phases.
The next time, you will be ready. Whenever you would meet that person, you will just know. You won’t make the same mistake again. Maybe, the universe wanted you to get hurt, so that you would know how it feels like. This happened to teach you the value of having true love by your side.
5. Maybe, you met someone at the wrong time
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Sometimes, people are not bad. It is just the circumstances that force us to break each other’s heart and that too in the most disastrous way. Maybe, you were too ahead of your time. Give it a try a few years down the lane and you might make it work. As of now, making yourself believe that you will never love again can’t be a solution.
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6. Or maybe, it was just not meant to be!
Sometimes, things are just not meant to be. There is no problem with you or someone else. You can’t blame anything at all. Deep within, you just know that it’s not going to work. Don’t make yourself fall into the same pattern over and over again. Make peace with it instead.
7. Learn to cultivate loneliness
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Loneliness is one of the most significant parts of our life. Maybe all of this happened because the universe wanted you to embrace your loneliness. It is one such thing that no one can outrun. Instead of despising your loneliness, why don’t you fall in love with it? Sit with it for a while – have a conversation with it. Eat with it if you want. Sleep with it and wake up next to it. Try to cultivate loneliness in you – within you. It is the only way you are going to outgrow it.
8. Before you love someone else, start loving yourself
It is only after embracing your loneliness you can fall in love with yourself. Knowing your worth is of utmost importance. Even if you think love is not for you, don’t ignore the fact that you are supposed to love yourself before anyone else. How can you expect someone else to fall in love with you when you can’t even love yourself?
Make peace with who you are and don’t convince yourself that you are not capable of loving someone. Fall in love with yourself and you will get your answer.
9. There are different kinds of love
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This is something that I can say from a personal experience. When I fell out of love for the first time, I thought that this is it. I’m never going to fall in love again. I was wrong. I fell in love again, but in a different way – a better way, maybe. You can’t compare it.
Yes, you are not going to fall in love with someone the same way you did in the past. It’s going to be different. It will make you realize why it never worked out before. It will make you proud of yourself!
10. Life is full of surprises – embrace it
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You can’t predict your future. Even if you think you are never going to fall in love again, chances are that your life will prove you wrong. It will give you the most pleasant surprise some day. Don’t run away from it. Instead, you should welcome it with your arms wide open.
11. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen
You can’t simply fast-forward this phase. Don’t ever underestimate the importance of your middle. People might remember the classic beginning or the surprising ending, but it is the middle that imparts the true essence of any story. Love will come into your life at its own pace. IT WILL HAPPEN. Just give it some time.
Suggested read: How to learn to love yourself for who and what you are
12. And you would be ready for it this time!
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You have already been through a lot. The next time when you would fall in love, you will never let it go. You would know how it really feels by acknowledging its worth. You would make all those life-changing decisions, but in a more pragmatic manner. You know you can’t have everything in this world and it is okay to make a few compromises for love. After all, it is all worth it. The next time love would knock your door – you will be ready for it.
Just because it didn’t work out in the past, doesn’t mean that it won’t in your future as well. Give time some time. Don’t run away from love. Let it come to you. One day, all of this will be a distant memory. You will fall in love again and that too in the most unexpected way. You will think about it and somehow, it would manage to bring a smile on your face. Till then, all you can do is hold on.
Keep holding on.
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