Cheating is to relationship what cancer is to your body. It’s that bad. It’s also one of the quickest ways to annihilate a relationship, which leaves a string of broken hearts in its wake. However, there are plenty of other things that have the potential to ruin a relationship just like cheating, if not more so. These things could be classified as way worse than cheating, in that they seem like small and insignificant in the beginning, only to blow up in your faces later on. And that’s what makes these things so dangerous.
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Let’s take a look at all the things that are way worse than cheating, that have the potential to implode your relationship.
1. Lying to your partner.
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A lie is a lie is a lie, anyway you try to spin it. Even if you tell yourself that you’re sparing your partner by not telling them the truth, you’re just doing it to soothe your conscience. You may think that it’s just a small white lie, that it won’t hurt your partner if they don’t know. But you’re wrong, because these small little lies are potent enough to blow up in your face.
Another toxic thing you can do in a relationship is hiding things from your partner. Again, you may think that you’re doing it out of love for your partner, but it’s not. These seemingly small things that you lie about and hide from your partner are what result in trust issues in your relationship, which have the potential to wreck it completely. You should be able to tell your partner pretty much anything under the sun. If you feel like you have to lie to them or hide something from them, then you probably shouldn’t be doing them in the first place, yeah?
2. Resenting your partner.
Very obviously, communication is key to a good, stable, and functional relationship. It’s true in more ways than one. If you keep everything you feel towards your partner inside without addressing them then and there, it will snowball into a larger issue, the more you try to suppress it. There’s no point in holding things inside, because your partner won’t know what is bothering you. Your partner ain’t a mind reader! So it’s better to put everything out in the open and hash it out, rather than quietly resenting your partner for a real or a perceived transgression. Because by the time resentment sets in, the damage is already done. Don’t let this happen to your relationship.
3. Staying together because it’s convenient.
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So you’ve been in a relationship with your partner for a while now. You have obviously invested in it emotionally, physically, and of course in terms of time and effort. Also, your families have high expectations from both of you. So it’s only natural to want things to work out in the long run. However, it is not okay to stay in a relationship even when it’s clearly not working. This could be because you both want different things from life, are in different stages in your life, or there’s a clear imbalance in the investment in the relationship. Whatever the reason for your relationship to not be working as you thought it would, it’s better to get out while you still have the chance, rather than stay in it because it’s convenient, which will only breed bitter resentment.
4. Withholding affection.
Affection can take any form – being touchy-feely, being considerate of your partner’s needs, talking about things close to your heart, having meaningful conversations that reveal different sides to your partner’s personality, or even helping each other through trials and tribulations. However, if there’s a decided lack or even absence of affection, then it can cause serious doubts in a relationship that are potent enough to decimate it.
5. Lack of communication.
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Communication doesn’t always mean texting each other through the day, but talking to each other about the important things, the things that bother you, the things that make you happy, the things that make you sad. Do not let things be when they’re clearly bothering you, because when you let issues fester is when they implode when you least expect it, and by the time that happens, things are usually unmanageable. Deal with issues as and when they crop up, and do not leave out details of it, even if it’s uncomfortable speaking about them.
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6. Being stubborn.
You and your partner have been raised in different environments, with probably even disparate backgrounds and values in life. So obviously, there are bound to be differences in your outlook towards life as well. Hence, by extension, you both would have to compromise on a lot of things to make it smooth sailing for your relationship. However, problems crop up when neither you nor your partner is willing to compromise. If you like someone, you should be willing to compromise – it’s as simple as that. But, if you stick with the ‘my way or the highway’ route, then it’s all bound to go downhill pretty fast.
7. Bickering about mundane things.
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You and your partner have specific roles to play in your relationship. But that, however, doesn’t mean you can’t help each other out once in a while, or that your roles are so set in stone, that it would hurt your ego to take up some of your partner’s burdens. First and foremost, your relationship should be a partnership, where both of you have equal say in what goes on and what happens. However, bickering about whose turn it is to put the trash out or do the dishes, isn’t going to make it any easier. You’re both adults, so you need to figure out what works for you and stick to it. And if a situation arises when you may have to do something that is usually taken care of by your partner, then do it. The will appreciate you for it.
8. Being condescending to your partner.
Do you talk down to your partner? Do you think you’re far more intelligent than them? Do you think your partner is naïve and ignorant and gullible? If so, then you may be condescending towards them. Talking down to your partner is just your way of establishing yourself as the bigger and more powerful than them. You may deny it all you want, but if you look down upon your partner, that is exactly what you’re doing. They’re not stupid, you know. Such a power imbalance has no place in a healthy, lasting relationship. Condescension is worse than cheating because it breaks down your self-esteem and makes you feel like crap. And even if such a toxic relationship comes to an end, you’ll likely feel the damage.
9. Manipulating your partner.
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So you like getting your way, pretty much always. And you see no harm in doing so by any means necessary. After all, it’s not like you’re harming anyone, right? WRONG! Manipulating your partner – emotionally or psychologically – to get your way is not the mark of a healthy, stable relationship. Whether you’re the one being manipulated or the one doing the manipulating, it’s often so subtle, that it’s way too late by the time realization happens. Emotional blackmail, incessant crying to get your own way, and guilt tripping your partner – are all various forms of manipulating your partner. Stay clear of them if you want to build a stable, healthy, and lasting relationship.
10. Being jealous of your partner.
Jealousy is a major red flag in any relationship. You may even like it when your partner expresses their jealousy, mistaking it for them being caring and protective towards you. However, excessive jealousy can fast turn into possessiveness, which is a no-no when it comes to a healthy relationship. It’s actually worse than cheating because the suspicion alone will ruin what you’ve lovingly built, no need for actual cheating to happen.
11. Staying together because you’ve become co-dependent.
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You don’t want to be single; in fact, you fear being alone in your life. Hence, you stay in a co-dependent relationship, even if it’s the last thing you should be doing. You’ve probably even lost that spark, that chemistry between the two of you, but the only reason you’re staying is because you fear being alone. You don’t even want to contemplate what breaking up would mean, and that you would have to start dating and looking for another person all over again. It’s like starting over from scratch, and you loathe doing it. However, staying in a relationship just because you don’t want to be alone is not the kind of relationship you deserve.
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12. Being fake.
You like ice cream, but told your partner that you were lactose-intolerant, just so you would have something in common to bond over. Or you pretended to be an adrenaline junkie, when frankly, you’d rather curl up on the couch with a book for company. Or even saying that you’re not looking for anything serious, when in fact, you are. You may think you’ll impress the person first, and then think about how to circumvent all the lies you’ve uttered. But a relationship doesn’t stand a chance if it’s built on lies and deceit. It’s better to be upfront with your partner from the get go, with your quirks and all. If they run screaming for the hills, you’ll know that they were not worth your time. And if they do seem to think your quirks make you all that more adorable, then you’ll know you’re with the right person.
So these are the things that are way more harmful than cheating. If you find that you were guilty of committing any or all of these crimes listed above, then you know you have to mend your ways, don’t you? Yes, you do, if you want to have a healthy, loving, and functional relationship.
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