Hello, fellow romance readers! Most people think that we are a rare species (and also probably the one that should go extinct for good), but we are alive and thriving. Here I’ve compiled a list of shared agony and some heartfelt answers for our beloved haters. Enjoy!
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1. It’s just a book! Get over it already…
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Oh yes, totally! All romance novels are going to be ‘just a book’ for you, and honestly, I feel sad for you. Want to know why? Well, you see, these are not ‘just books’ at all. They are the very precious beating and breathing part of someone’s heart. I pity your lack of judgment on this one. But don’t worry, you can keep asking me to get a life… while I’m not only living my own but also the multitudes of romantic epics penned by some of literature’s greatest minds.
2. It’s so repetitive… How can you read the same thing over and over again?
FYI: That’s not how things run here. Don’t mind me saying this, but you are merely judging the book by its cover. Your loss! Romantic writings represent the convergence of our fantasies with the atrocities and unpredictability of real life. Although I would want nothing more than the character I love getting their ‘happy ever after,’ that doesn’t always happen nowadays. It’s not always boy meets girl, they fall in love, and live happily ever after. There’s so much to a romance novel. You’ll know it only when you’ve read it. Wakey wakey! The world of romantic writing has evolved, so you should too!
3. Ooh… Now I see why you don’t have a boyfriend!
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First of all, who are you to judge my love life anyway? And since when do you have any interest in my love affairs at all? The question of ‘Why do I not have a boyfriend?’ is a complex one with many possible answers; in fact, maybe I do and you just don’t know it! Or maybe I just don’t want to! Either way, it’s still none of your business.
4. Don’t worry, Honey. I’ll get you a hook up, I promise!
Aww… I know you truly care about me and I love you for that. But please, would you mind your own business? If I don’t have a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean I can’t get one. I believe that one day, there’ll come a guy who will love me for me and appreciate my interests in romance novels, and we will fall in love. Until then, no hookups: end of story. You say old-fashioned, I say romantic.
5. Ew… That’s so not cool!
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Frankly, don’t think of judging me. When you don’t have any idea of what something is about (not to mention, no concept of an individual taste or style), you have no right to criticize me. And even if you think that things like reading romance novels is not cool, well, that’s your opinion, so keep it to yourself! Don’t go forcing in onto others!
6. So are you into… word porn? Hm…
Hello, you perverted mind. I am not at all saying that sex is not a part of romantic novels; I’m saying that it’s not all these fantastic pieces of writing are about. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship; and if I read about it in romance novels, so what? Don’t you think about it? Don’t you indulge in it? Don’t be a hypocrite about sex. So, before you go calling my beloved romance novels ‘word porn,’ or ‘mommy porn,’ you better watch it (I have nails!). That’s not only an ignorant judgment but an insult to a great percent of the finest literature as well.
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7. How can you dive into something that is as shallow as this?
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Shallow? Yeah, right! Since when are you an expert on gauging the depth of our literary pieces, especially romance novels, when you don’t even read? A true romance novel is an exquisite delicacy, which takes our soul soaring with a deep connection and into the endless void of dreams and possibilities. Calling this otherworldly magic shallow is a total lame non-reader move!
8. Doesn’t the lack of plot ever bother you?
The lack of plot, no story, the same characters, nothing to engage thrill-seeking readers… there’s simply no end to your pathetic complaints, is there? The lack of a plot would have made it impossible for me to read even a single page if only it was there. Come on haters, have you ever even taken a glance at the list of brilliant timeless romantic stories? Romeo and Juliet, The Notebook, Pride and Prejudice, and A Walk To Remember, to name a few? (Yes, Pride and Prejudice is a romance novel; get over it.) I know you haven’t, so better do it and then we’ll talk again!
9. If you don’t give up your love for these… no man is ever going to be good enough!
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Ah! Not again… How shall I translate this for your tiny little brain? Listen to this very carefully: my love life is none of your business! So leave it alone already. Our world lacks the masterpieces of masculine perfection, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find love in the appreciation of the perfect imperfections. And of course, no one has ever been or will ever be good enough as the one-and-only Mr. Darcy! But we can live with that. 😉
10. It is such an unrealistic, mushy-gushy fantasy. You know that, right?
When you don’t even know my reality, don’t go passing judgments on my fantasies! And if you don’t know it, let me break it to you – romance novels are not fantasy writing; they are two entirely different genres of writing. Of course, there can be romance in fantasy, and fantasy in romance, but you’re not interested in that debate, are you? So, I’d very much like it if you would try to see and appreciate how closely almost all romance novels relate to our real lives.
11. These stories are all the same. How are you not sick of them already!
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NO! Once and for all – ALL ROMANCE BOOKS ARE NOT THE SAME! In Romeo and Juliet, the protagonists die in the end. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth and Mr Darcy end up happily married. The Fault in Our Stars had an entirely tear-stained ending where destiny (and questionable medical progress) took its toll. And the list goes on… So, no, I’m not sick yet, nor I am ever going to be.
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12. Aww… Isn’t this what people with no sense of humor read?
Oh! I just can’t express how I would like to yell when some self-righteous pseudo-genius asks this. For one thing, the genre doesn’t decide how intellectual and deep a book is; each author’s writing does! And secondly, since you clearly haven’t read a romance novel in your life, don’t judge. As they say, ‘Don’t knock it, till you’ve tried it.’
Ah! This feels so sweet, doesn’t it? Getting your true feelings out and finding answers to the baseless questions that this world keeps shooting at you. Well, one thing’s for sure: our love for romance novels in unconditional, helpless, and undying. Nothing at all can move our love (addiction), interest (addiction), and addiction (and addiction evermore) for these true masterpieces of human emotions. #RomanceFever!
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