In Hashtags: 12 Stages Of A One-Night Stand

by Amrin Talib · November 26, 2015

So you just got your heart broken, or are simply looking to blow off some steam… nothing wrong with that, girl! If you want IT, you gotta go, get IT – so bring out your A-game coz your heart is set on making some guy LUCKY tonight! 😉

1. #DressingToKill

Image source: collegetimes

A stunning LBD? Check. Sky high heels? Check. You’re nervous (or maybe you’re not), so you scarf down a glass of wine even before leaving home. Apply another coat of mascara before you hit the road, miss! Let’s go!

2. #DancingItOut

Image source: giphy

You reach the club and get on the dance floor like you effing own it, girl! Empty the dance floor, friends, the beat is about to get slayed! Oh yeah!

3. #SearchBegins

Ah yes. Feel better after dancing? Now comes the best part. Enjoy the night with a beer in your hand (or a neat whiskey if you want – we ain’t judging you, girl!). Once you’re pleasantly buzzed, you begin the survey…

4. #TargetAquired

Well, three guys look pretty cute to you in your tipsy state. Which one gets lucky though? Inky Pinky Ponky… The one with the black shirt who is sipping on his gin and tonic looks yummy. “Hello there, handsome. You’re hot AF!”

5. #TargetLocked

Image source: Tumblr

You slide in towards the guy at the bar and he immediately offers to buy you a drink (why wouldn’t he? You look f****ing hot). Fast forward- a little small talk, a lot of dirty dancing, hands wandering… and you both know something’s going on.

6. #TheNaughtyCabRide

Image source: giphy

Your apartment or his? You decide to go to his, since you don’t want to deal with him the next morning (unless he’s ah-mazing), and so that you can make your exit quietly. You can’t keep your hands off each other, and probably don’t care if the driver sees a little too much. 😉

7. #SoItBegins

So you get home, and pop open a bottle of wine to dissipate some of the awkwardness. Works like a charm. Foreplay ensues; clothes come off quicker than you anticipate.

8. #ThePanic

What? Where’s the condom? You can’t find one, so you turn on the lights and spend 10 minutes looking for one. You still can’t find one, so he ends up sneaking into his roommate’s room and stealing one.

9. #TheMomentOfTruth

Image source: Tumblr

So it finally begins. You have the protection in place and are lying in anticipation. Aaaaand…

Over in 5 minutes? What?! Maybe it will get better if we do it a few more times? No, okay. Okay! OKAY!!!!

10. #TheHangover

Image source: Tumblr

You wake up feeling like sh*t, reaching out to your nightstand to see the clock. Only it isn’t there. You have no idea where you are or how you got there. Your head pounds and then you turn over and see the person next to you (who doesn’t look so cute in the daylight). It all comes rushing back. Oh God, why?

11. #LetMeGo!

Image source: Tumblr

‘Should I wait for him to wake up? How do I move his arm from over me? Should I ask him to drop me home? WHAT DO I DO?!’

12. #LeavingLikeABoss

Image source: Giphy

So you finally manage to extract your body from under his arm, and dress quickly while he snores away to glory. Save for the pounding head, you feel liberated and a total bad*ss! #LikeABoss

Featured image source: Pinterest

Summary