There isn’t always a perfect time and place to say I love you. Love can happen to anyone and at any time. Sometimes, it takes forever to figure it out, and sometimes, you’d think it’s too soon. Sometimes you know it, and sometimes you never know when the right time is.
When that time comes and you almost feel like it’s time to say it, chances are that it could be embarrassing and humiliating if you said it a tad bit early and didn’t get the desired response.
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However, saying I love you too soon sucks. In every sense. But how soon is too soon, is something you need to determine, and that is a big task in itself. Often, you feel like you’ve known someone for a while and your heart is racing like a jet ski, you want to stop the silly mind games and take a chance. A chance to simply get done with the suspense, to find some kind of resolution. But, here’s the risk. Saying I love you too soon could have really embarrassing after effects depending upon how the other person reacts to your advances, and that’s why it sucks.
Suggested read: 35 thoughtful ways of saying ‘I love you’ without actually uttering those words
Also, there’s that teeny weeny bit of fear you have of being rejected, or figuring out later that the person you said I love you to was just a mere infatuation, probably a big crush and nothing more than an eye candy! So, it would really suck if you got all emotional and dropped the L bomb on the other person. Oftentimes, we are driven by feelings generated from the heart that make us do silly unreasonable things, and saying I love you too soon can be one of those impulsive decisions that your heart asks you to do.
Here are 12 reasons why it sucks to say I love you too soon.
1. The suspense is killed
Every new relationship is fun as long as you are guessing what the other person is thinking. For instance, when you have a rough idea that the other person likes you and drops hints. It’s just so much fun catching all those hints and wondering if it’s true. The flirting, the late night talks, the innuendos all feel right! It may seem like you both are playing games with each other, but that’s the best part of the relationship, isn’t it? Once you say I love you, that suspense is killed and the relationship can go drab. So, let the mystery remain, don’t say I love you too soon!
2. The other person may not feel the same
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Oh, no! Just imagine how miserable it would feel to be in a situation like this. You utter the L word, and the other person doesn’t feel it at all. How would you then save your face? You may have caught all the wrong signals and may have misinterpreted every move. That would really suck and saying I love you too soon would be a total disaster in case the other person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.
3. They won’t say it back
Some people are hard nuts to crack, or they simply love the chase. So, they’d wait and wait until you say it first, and then put up their price. Well, I mean it’s probably alright to say it to them, but imagine if they don’t say it back soon enough? You’d feel like a fool for saying it too soon.
4. If it’s simply an infatuation
Often, people mistake like for love, or infatuation for love, and then the whole thing simply gets complicated. Firstly, you have to ask yourself what it is that you are feeling for this person. Make a mental note of all the feelings that come up in your mind, and only then decide if it’s worth telling the person. Sometimes, it could be a mere infatuation and you’d mistake it for love. So, on that note, you may have made a mistake if you then said I love you to the person.
5. The love bug syndrome
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You meet a person, spend some time with them and are having fun. While you’re at it, you feel you like them and then tell them so. But your only mistake is that you tell them that you love them! Well, if the other person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings and decides to ignore you, you end up doing the same drill with other people. You may then have the love bug syndrome. You simply fall in love with people too fast and don’t shy away from telling them so (which may not be a bad thing – but doing it repeatedly will get you a bad reputation – one of being fickle).
Suggested read: 20 romantic gestures men make that are better than saying ‘I love you’
6. When the other person isn’t ready yet
Maybe you’re sensitive, or simply expressive and you say I love you too soon, but if the other person’s response to that is that they need more time and aren’t ‘ready’ yet, then that would be an epic fail. Trust us, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that. A feeling of being punched in the face and a feeling of helplessness of not being able to retaliate. Of all the things that suck in this world, this is one of those top 5 things that sucks a lot.
7. Showing is better than telling
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By now, we know that saying I love you too soon can be a grave mistake, and to avoid that, you can show your love instead of telling them. So, a good thing would be to flirt, drop hints, show affection and care than saying it out loud that you love them. Maybe if you keep at it, the other person will feel the vibes and say I love you to you! Who knows, the ball will be in your court then.
8. Reflects your obsession
A decent bunch of girls I know have had guys say that they love them, which is perfectly fine. But when the girls didn’t quite feel the same way, these guys turned into creepy stalkers or annoying obsessed maniacs. Some were even border-line dangerous, the rest were downright creepy. But that says a lot about the person, right? Trust me, you don’t want to earn that kind of reputation that reflects you are an overly obsessed person. It’s scary to fall in love with such people, as the general notion is that obsession is scary! It may look like fun in the beginning, but it’s not when it swings in the wrong direction.
9. Could create misunderstandings
Love triangles, conflicts, previous stressful relationships, bitter feelings, etc., can cause a lot of misunderstandings. So, if you are not sure of the person’s past and have said I love you too soon to them, you could land in a situation full of misunderstandings. You could be misunderstood, or you could have misinterpreted the whole thing. Saying I love you too soon may cause such problems.
10. Insecurities may crop up
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You like something and want to own it, so before anyone else does that you want to put your word out in the open. If you are one of those people who thinks that by saying I love you to a person, you’ll simply get them, then you seem like a very disturbed person, and not to mention a very insecure one at that. Don’t let these insecurities ruin your relationship. Say it only because you love the other person selflessly and unconditionally. Sometimes, these insecurities may force you to say the L word, but don’t be fooled by it. Be mindful of what you say.
11. Unnecessary pressure
Yes, relationships can be taxing and stressful. Especially when you are in a grey area. That moment, when you haven’t yet expressed your feelings but you both know that you are feeling it and are under pressure to express it, or it’s simply peer pressure to have a steady girl/boyfriend. When you succumb to these pressures and say I love you too soon, you may be jeopardizing the whole relationship without giving it much thought.
Suggested read: 10 old school ways of saying ‘I love you’ that need to make a comeback
12. When you don’t mean it
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So, the pressure gets to you and you simply wanna say it but deep inside you know that you don’t really mean it but are compelled to do for other reasons. Don’t fall for something too soon, take your time and weigh your options.
Saying I love you too soon can really put you in the spot for all these above reasons. These reasons are bad enough for someone to feel like they made a huge mistake. So save yourself from the trouble and take it easy. Say the L word only when you mean it and you know that the other person also feels similarly. Else, you’ll feel foolish and will regret it later on. Jumping into something without being prepared is not a risk you want to take, especially when it comes to relationships.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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