Flirting is one of those mating rituals that can get you what you want when done right, or make you look desperate when you don’t know what you’re doing, or drive the object of your affection far, far away, when done wrong! Yes, it not embarrassment, it can cause you major mortification if you don’t know what you’re doing.
One thing to always keep in mind while flirting is that it should be as natural and subtle as you could possibly make it. If you want the right guy to notice you, then you need to keep it classy and elegant, instead of coming across as tacky, desperate, or worse, trashy!
Many women think that men are hooked by the damsel in distress, or the femme fatale. In fact, what men dig is someone who balances the two and knows when and where to draw the line. A confident woman, who knows her own mind, knows when she needs help, and accepts it graciously when offered.
Suggested read: Is flirting cheating when you’re in a relationship?
Here are a few tips on how to be flirty, with class and grace.
1. It’s all in the way you dress
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The first step in learning how to be flirty is the way you dress. Many women opt for overly sexy dresses or dresses with low-cut necklines, which leave very little to the imagination. The key is to balance the subtle sexiness with the right-fitting dress. Show off only a little, say, your best asset, while leaving the rest to the imagination. In fact, even dressed pretty conservatively, you can catch the guy’s attention. Being classy over trashy appeals to men any day of the week, and twice on Sunday! Go for outfits that are classy, chic, and hug your body in all the right places.
2. Maintain eye contact
People underestimate the power of a good, long eye contact. Maintaining eye contact with a guy you’re interested in is a way of letting him know that you are, indeed, interested in him, without being too forward or seeming too desperate. However, staring at someone you like, is just plain creepy. Don’t creep him out, but keep your gazes locked when he looks at you. Also, you don’t need to be close to him to keep this eye contact. You can accomplish this even from across the room, when you first notice him. Also, make it a point to maintain that eye contact when you’re making a point in your conversation, or even when you’re trying to impress him. If you’re successful in creating a connection that you both feel, then the rest will play out pretty smoothly.
3. Smile that half-smile
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While an all-out smile can let everyone know that you have amazing teeth, a flirty half-smile carries it own power. Smiling ear to ear every time the guy you’re interested in looks your way or talks to you, isn’t going to cut it. Acknowledge your guy with a simple half-smile, and keep him guessing about what goes on in your head behind that secretive, mysterious half-smile. Be confident what signs and signals you want to put out there. You don’t want to come across as too eager, or even too desperate by smiling at every little thing he says or throws a look at you, do you?
4. Keep up a light banter
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You may have all the looks in the world, but if you don’t know how to keep a conversation going and keep a guy interested, then he’ll lose interest in you pretty quickly. Also, know the difference between conversing and talking. While the latter is just blurting out whatever comes to mind, without rhyme or reason, or filling the silence with words that have little to no meaning in the larger scheme of things, the former is an art. Having a conversation with someone lets you communicate and open yourself up in a subtle way. If you’re not ready to wade into personal territories, stick to interesting topics, that keep the conversation going. This helps the other person know what interests you, your views on certain topics and issues, and how you react to things. Also, since you’re just in the initial phase of the mating game, it’s better if you stick to topics that are light, and not too serious that could make you both argue. Keep things light and make a memorable impression on him. This is a sure way of letting him know that you’re not just a beauty, but have brains too.
5. Be mysterious
When it comes to being mysterious, it’s not just about the way you dress, but how much information you reveal too. Never reveal all aspects of your personality and other pertaining information about yourself at one go. Keep things casual and be mysterious; keep him guessing about what goes on in your pretty head with that massive brain inside it! You don’t even have to give out your number immediately either. But if you have already given it out, then may be hold off on answering his calls right away. You don’t want to seem over eager or not have any work to focus on, now would you?
Suggested read: 12 clear signs she is flirting with you
6. Use his name often
Once you’re been introduced and started having a conversation, use his name often. It’s a subtle way of making yourself stand out in his mind, where you’re constantly aware of who you are conversing with. It’s nice to hear your own name being uttered every now and then, right?
7. Compliment him once in a while
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If you think only women like receiving compliments, then think again. Men like them as much as women do. However, be sure pay him a compliment that is genuine, unique, and actually pertains to his personality. Never pay a compliment just for the heck of it; you’ll just come across as a fake flatterer. That won’t sit well with either of you. So be classy in your compliments, and be observant enough to notice something striking about him and tell him so. That’ll sure make a good impression on him. He’ll appreciate you for sticking to the truth, instead of resorting to lame flattery, or worse, outright lies.
8. Pay attention to the details
When you’re flirting with a guy you’re interested in, mentally catalog every little detail about him and what he tells you. Being observant pays in a huge way when you’re trying to impress someone. These come in handy when you next meet and you bring up these little things about him. It’s a clear signal you’re sending him that you notice even the littlest things about him, and that you remembered him and are definitely interested in him.
9. Bring out your sense of humor
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Having a sense of humor will not only help you impress someone, it’s also vital for you to be happy in your life. It helps you see the lighter side of life, instead of being focused on the harsh realities all the time. Anyway, men love it when women laugh at their jokes, and they like it even more when women can throw out a punny line or point out the lighter side of things. In fact, having a sense of humor conveys that you’re smart, witty, and confident enough to see things lightly, and that you don’t take yourself too seriously. However, keep your sense of humor classy at all times, because there’s a fine line between having sense of humor and being obnoxious and/or nasty.
10. Remember your manners and etiquette at all times
Good posture, pleasant manners, and excellent etiquette are always attractive in a person. How you carry yourself and how you behave, is what sets you apart from a classless trashy person. Being polite and considerate in everything you do, will show how classy you are, by setting you apart from the crowd. Know and practice the most commonly used words of courtesy, and use them wherever necessary. Also, avoid interrupting when they’re talking and trying to explain something. Being nice to your equals comes easily to most everyone, but being nice to your inferiors – whether in age or station – is what will set you apart from the crowd. Never forget that they are human beings first, and the waitress, desk clerk, etc., second.
11. Avoid drama – like the plague!
Getting attention and drawing it are two very different things. In fact, they’re miles apart. If you get attention for the way you behave and talk, then good for you. But when you want to be the center of attention by creating drama, then the guy you’re interested in will ditch you like a hot potato! Never resort to creating drama just to gain his attention. It’ll most definitely put him off of you.
Suggested read: 10 struggles of women whose friendliness is mistaken for flirting
12. Be confident
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This should be your mantra regardless of what you’re doing – learning how to be flirty or anything else for that matter. Wear your confidence like your second skin. This is one of the things that will attract guys, without any effort on your part. This confidence will radiate out of you, making people gravitate towards you, without having to put a lot of effort either.
Being flirty is all about being classy, confident, and being you. You don’t have to debase yourself or make yourself uncomfortable to be flirty with a guy. Just follow these tips, and you should be fine. Just be your charming, confident self, and guys won’t be able to keep their distance from you!
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