The beginning of a relationship is blissful. You both are out to please the other, doing/saying/thinking pretty much anything to make your partner happy. You think there’s just no one like your partner, that you both have the most amazing time ever when you’re together, and it’s super-exciting to have a companion, a partner in crime, a lover. And this, my friend, is what is called the honeymoon phase.
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However, like all good things, this honeymoon phase inevitably comes to an end – at one point or another. What happens then? Things start to become routine, mundane; the things you used to find adorable about your partner start to seem annoying; the action in the bedroom tapers down or stops completely; and you’re both far too comfortable with each other to find anything exciting. One day you wake up, and it seems like all the fire in your relationship has turned to embers, barely flickering. Which sucks on a major level!
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How do you get that spark, that elusive something that made your relationship one of the best, in the beginning? Of course, you still love your partner, but it sort of seems like it’s done by rote. There just isn’t that passion and fire from before. If you find yourself nodding to these statements with regard to your own relationship, then t’s time you did something to rekindle those flickering embers into a roaring fire once more. Yes, it’s possible to do so.
These pointers on how to rekindle your relationship will have you back on track with the same fire and passion as before, in no time at all!
1. Figure out what the cause is.
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More often than not, a rut is just that – a rut. You both fall into a pattern, and it becomes hard to break out of it as more time passes by. However, sometimes, there might be a bigger issue at play, which may be more serious than just a rut. The first step in learning how to rekindle your relationship is to figure it out and addressing it successfully. You might think that talking will not get you anywhere, but open, honest communication channels have helped many a relationship to get out of the sink hole and come out on the other side successful.
2. Spend time apart, if it helps.
The saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder, is actually true. Sometimes it so happens that you’ve fallen into a rut because you spend all of your time together, and none apart. This has made you both numb to each other’s presence, thereby making you take your partner for granted. Spend time apart – take a vacation with your gal pals, go on a road trip with your buddies, or even go out for a night out with friends and/or colleagues. This will give you both an opportunity to miss each other, and thus come back together to share your individual experiences.
3. Be open to try something new.
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When you’re comfortable with each other as a couple, things can start to get repetitive pretty soon. Eating at the same restaurant every week, going to the movie on the same day every two weeks, or watching the same TV shows day after day. Ugh! Just listing them out is making me itchy to try new things! Trying new things, experimenting with new ideas, signing up for something totally out of your comfort zone – are all ways to reignite that spark in your relationship. It is said that learning something new together has the capacity to bring a couple closer together.
4. Go out and make new friends – as a couple.
Whether you make new friends or join a club or a league where you get to spend time together with other couples/people, will give you a high of meeting new people. It will help spark that something that’s been missing in your own relationship. And when you spend time with other couples, you’ll understand and realize what you have and fall in love with your partner all that more.
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5. Sign up for a hobby class together.
Whether it’s ballroom dancing classes, or salsa classes, or even an exotic cooking class, this is one of the best ways to get out of the rut you both seem to have fallen into. Not only will it help you learn something new together, it will also help you bond as a couple, while also meeting new people. It’s a win-win from any way you look at it! [Psst! We recommend the dance classes, because it will bring you closer together not only physically, but emotionally as well, as you waltz your way into each other’s heart!]
6. Put effort into your appearance.
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Go on and buy that sexy red number you’ve been passing on your way to work. Go ahead and shave off your scruff that you’ve been contemplating for weeks now. The point is, you need to make an effort into how you look. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you let go of how you look. Wearing makeup, keeping yourself healthy and fit, wearing outfits that make you feel sexy – are all necessary to keep your relationship spark intact. The logic is, when you look good, you feel good, and when your partner appreciates your effort, it will make you feel even better.
7. Spice things up in the bedroom.
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Investing in sexy lingerie, trying new moves and positions, and even experimenting with new things in the bedroom ought to spice up the whole thing. You need these like booster shots to inject that much-needed excitement, anticipation into the action between the sheets. An active sex life is vital for a healthy, functional relationship. And it’s one of the first things that gets the axe when things fall into a rut. So don’t let mundane stuff get to you; spice things up in the bedroom and surprise your partner with your enthusiasm.
8. Take an exotic holiday.
Work, chores, the multitude of issues you’re dealing with, everyday life – can all make you feel like you’re stuck in your own drudgery-filled life. And this is bound to take a toll on your relationship. You’re stuck in a rut that needs your constant attention, even making you forget that you have a partner that needs your time, effort, and energy too. That’s where a holiday comes into the picture. It’s the perfect way to get away from the drudgery, the mundaneness of it all. If it’s to a destination that is exotic and is something you both have discussed going to over the course of your relationship, then go for it. A much-needed, well-timed holiday can do wonders for your relationship.
9. Surprise your partner now and then.
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Bringing their favorite flowers, cooking their favorite meal, doing the laundry before they ask, offering to do the dishes, helping put the kids to bed – from the mundane to the romantic, do things that let your partner know that you care. That you want them to be happy. That you’ll do things to make them feel appreciated and cared for. That’s one of the surest ways to bring back that spark that seems to have died from your relationship.
10. Open up to them.
While communicating with your partner about what needs to be addressed in your relationship is a good thing, opening yourself up and your vulnerabilities, is considered extremely intimate. And if you can do this with your partner, then there’s nothing like it. Also, don’t just talk, but listen to what they have to say. Respect their thoughts, their ideas, their problems – while doing the same for yourself. Opening up about emotions, feelings, brings couples that much closer together. In fact, this is the perfect opportunity for you to learn something new about your partner, and vice versa. No matter how long you both have been together, this holds true.
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11. Take things lightly.
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As time goes by and you both fit into a comfortable, yet mundane rut, you forget to take things lightly. You start to dissect every little thing your partner says or does, or worse, don’t care enough to bother with it. But if you’re looking to rekindle that spark in your relationship, start to see the lighter side of things and situations. Take things lightly, tease your partner, make them laugh, laugh heartily at a silly joke, stop complaining, and just enjoy each other – in all your flawed glory. It becomes hard to live if you take every little thing too seriously. Seriously though, have fun and just … live.
A lackluster relationship is a downer, anyway you look at it. It gets boring pretty fast, if there’s no spark. And sometimes there’s nothing you can do rekindle such a relationship. But if there’s even a kernel of potential to reignite your relationship to its former glory, then do it. The above pointers on how to rekindle your relationship will help you in your endeavor. Good luck!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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