Being in love with someone is nothing less than a roller coaster ride. There are unexpected ups and downs, but as long as the two of you are able to overcome all adversity, nothing else matters. I have experienced my share of good and bad in a relationship and I know how trying it can get at times. Every relationship has a rough path. If you think you are facing a setback, don’t worry. It is only a test to assess your endurance and check if you shall persevere to sustain your bond, rain or shine and if the two of you will come out of it, being stronger than ever.
It is important to have a troubled relationship phase in your love life. It will teach you how to overcome an obstacle and when to stop fighting. There are few things in this world that are always worth the effort and your partner is one of them. If you are facing some persistent problems in your relationship, start making an effort. Take the assistance of these life-changing tips to get the trouble out of your relationship.
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1. Focus on “me” for a better “we”
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As strange as it might sound, you can’t be in a fulfilling relationship without focusing on yourself. There was a time when I fell in love with this amazing girl. Sadly, things didn’t work out between the two of us because I wasn’t ready for another relationship at that time. It took me a while to realize I had some deeply rooted trust issues. I sabotaged my relationship by not giving her the space she needed.
Before you make all those big life-altering plans with your partner, you need to ask yourself if you are ready to take the leap of faith or not. Fall in love when you are ready, and not when you are lonely. Introspect a little and realize if this is what you want or not. Don’t curse your timing or the circumstances.
Take a step back and stop judging your partner. Start identifying your own flaws. Are you being haunted by the ghost of a past relationship? Do you have abandonment issues? Focus on yourself before you commence a relationship with someone else.
2. Make a financial plan
Money is one of the most common causes for a troubled relationship. Too many times, we let our finances affect our decisions. It might happen unknowingly, but in the long run, it definitely alters the future of any relationship. To make sure that you keep your finances separate from your relationship, come up with a monthly budget. If the two of you are living together, chances are that you need to consider a lot of things in mind (rent, food, bills, and so on).
Don’t ask your partner to lend you some money. No, I’m not talking about a few hundred bucks here. If you are in need for a substantial amount of money, take a loan from the bank instead. It might put your partner in a very awkward situation and can even ruin your relationship.
3. Know how to avoid a fight
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Sometimes, we fight over the most irrelevant issues with our partner. If you know your significant other is particular about a thing or two, always keep that in mind. There is no harm in meeting them halfway at times to avoid an unwanted scenario. Yes, you can’t avoid fighting with your partner. But you should always if it is worth fighting for or not.
4. Identify the root of your problem
Every time you have an argument with your partner, don’t just let it stay there. Come up with a conclusion and identify its cause. If you keep storming out of it or ignoring it, chances are that you would never be able to come out of the loop. You would fall back into the same pattern. Don’t try to have an upper hand in your relationship. You should always know that your relationship is more important than having the last word in a fight. Take your partner’s help to unravel the cause of your arguments rather than wasting all that energy fighting them.
5. Make time to communicate
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Consider it similar to taking an appointment with your doctor. Every day, take at least 20-30 minutes to simply talk to your partner. Ask them about their day and get to know them better. This will help the two of you to focus on your present rather than sustaining a grudge or being worried about the future.
Communication is the key to solving every problem in a relationship. Be more consistent and consider it as a part of your daily schedule. You would start observing a significant difference in your troubled relationship after a few days.
Suggested read: 9 unmistakable signs you’re in a love-hate relationship
6. Stick to the three-sentence rule
This is an effective way to communicate constructively with your partner. Don’t just bash out all those feelings at once. Take turns and listen to your partner as well. Listening is the most important (and underrated) part of any communication. Also, when you are speaking to your partner, always stick to the three-sentence rule. Whether it is an apology or a complaint, don’t exceed three sentences at a time. This will help you focus on what’s important without adding any sarcasm or regret in your tone.
“I’m sorry I checked your phone. I was being paranoid. It will never happen again.”
See. It wasn’t that hard at all!
7. Participate in trust-building exercises
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This is something I can guarantee on from a personal experience. When my relationship was falling apart, the two of us tried to practice several trust-building exercises and it really worked.
There are plenty of trust-building exercises that you can perform with your partner. You might not know this, but cuddling can help you regain lost trust in your relationship as well. Start by closing your eyes and focus on each other’s heartbeat. Try to match the rhythm of your inhalation and gradually be a part of a single entity. Start seeing the world around you from your partner’s perspective. It will help you overcome your trust issues for sure.
8. Go back in time
Are you feeling dejected and are not able to find any compassion in your bond? This is exactly when you should try to go back in time and live that initial phase of your relationship all over again. Try to look for those old photographs and think about the time when the two of you were getting to know each other. Talk to your partner and reminisce about those good old days together. This will let the two of you realize why you fell in love with each other in the first place. Get to know your partner all over again.
9. Start rekindling that love
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Love can be a little demanding at times. There is no doubt about it. You need to replenish its source with time. Otherwise, it will leave your relationship devoid of it. Love is not an event, it’s a process. It is all about falling in love with your partner every single morning with the same sense of passion. It would be tough, but try to come up with different ways to show your gratitude towards your partner. Start learning a new language with them or plan a vacation. Try running together in the morning or have a pet. Keep doing different things and never be hesitant to accept a change in your life.
10. Keep the spark alive in your relationship
Sex is one of the most important parts of any relationship. It can certainly help you overcome your troubles as well. Be open about it with your partner and think of new ways to spice things up a little. There is no harm in using a few props every now and them. A simple role play can elevate the passion in your relationship to a whole new level. It will ignite a fire and burn away all those setbacks that you are facing. Only your love will remain as a product of it. Cherish it. Each and every bit of it.
Suggested read: Why using sex as a weapon in relationships is a BAD idea
11. Assign responsibilities
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I know how our daily chores or other work-related responsibilities can sometimes take a toll on our relationship. Set some basic ground rules and start assigning responsibilities to each other. This helped the two of us streamline everything and avoid all those irrelevant fights we were having regarding our household chores. From walking the dog out to doing the dishes, try to assign equal roles and responsibilities.
Try to understand that there is no such thing as “the man of the house” and that doing laundry is not a woman’s job. Truth to be told, no one can do laundry better than me and I openly give tips about it to my friends as well. You never know, you can have an outlandish superpower as well. Try to embrace it, instead of simply telling your partner to complete a household chore. At the same time, admitting your mistakes is also a part of taking responsibilities. If you know you have made a mistake, take full responsibility for it. Don’t run away. You are better than that.
Be more passionate in your relationship and live every moment as if it’s your last. It’s now or never. Let your partner know how much they mean to you. Say all those words that you were once too afraid to speak. Let it all out. Be honest with them. But most significantly, be honest with yourself.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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