As children and moody teenagers and busy adults, we tend to ignore some of the most important people in our lives, because we have been accustomed to taking them for granted. We have cried because of failed relationships and backstabbing friends and minor setbacks in the journey of our lives, but we have barely had time to stop and think about an important person who has been through it all with us – our moms. Have you ever wondered about the stuff your mom never told you? Probably not because you were pre-occupied with the stuff she did tell you, most of which consisted of strict ‘no’s to sleepovers, if memory serves you right.
A mother is a figure whose role often goes unnoticed in our lives. They are with us from the moment we are born, and they are the ones responsible for who we are today. Somewhere along the way, we forget the role they have played in our lives, and memories only consist of the times they reprimanded us and fought with us. There are, however, things your mom may never have told you, but definitely thought.
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Here are some of those things that are going to change the way you feel about your mother.
1. You’ve her hurt in more ways than one
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We are constantly conscious of how hurt we feel and the troubles we have to endure and the difficulties we have to overcome in order to emerge stronger emotionally and physically. What we don’t think about is how we, ourselves, hurt the people in our lives, especially the ones closest to us. Yes, you have hurt your mother consciously or unconsciously, but she would never admit to it. You have hurt her when she was pregnant with you, you even hurt her when you were a baby, and she endured your scratches and bites and screams and tantrums. You hurt her when she spent sleepless nights ensuring that you are okay. You hurt her when you yelled at her when she scolded you for coming home late. Honestly, the examples are endless.
2. You’ve made her cry
Frankly, the idea of mothers crying is very uncomfortable, and what is even more uncomfortable is knowing that you are the cause of her tears. Even though your mum never told you this, it is a fact that you have made her cry more than once in your lifetime. She cried when you were born. She cried when she got frustrated at your refusal to understand her unconditional love for you. She even cried a little when you got mad at her for the most innocuous of reasons. Whether they were happy tears or sad tears, mothers seem to have mastered the art of crying without letting you know it happened, especially when you are the reason for it.
3. Every time you hurt, she felt it with you
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Mothers are not only connected with their children through blood, but there is an inexplicable and inextricable bond between mother and child that often makes them feel and endure everything their children are going through. There were times when you howled about your loneliness and cried because there wasn’t anyone who understood what you were feeling. What your mother didn’t tell you is that she went through the exact same emotions with you at the same time you did. She felt the same pain as you, whether it was for your periods, or for heartbreak. She laughed with equal enthusiasm when you got a good grade and she got equally angry when something unfair happened to you. All those years you thought you were a misunderstood, lone creature, you didn’t realize that your best friend and protector for life was going through the same emotions you were feeling, without letting you realize the extent to which you affected them.
4. Every time she yelled at you, it was because she didn’t want you to make the same mistakes as her
You remember distinctly how your mother made your life miserable by yelling at you for all your mistakes. What she didn’t tell you was that she made the exact same mistakes in her youth, suffered the consequences, and would do anything to prevent you from committing the same mistakes again. Not only was she being protective of you, she was also guiding you in the right direction, because she had done the trial and error part and saved you the trouble. Even though she knew that you were calling her names like “terrible” and “unreasonable” and “strict”, she was looking out for you.
5. She’s had as much to learn from you, as you’ve had from her
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You have always looked up to your mother as a pillar of strength, knowledge, and overall awesomeness. However, included in the list of stuff your mom never told you is the fact that even though you have had a ton of things to learn from her, she too has learnt a lot from you. Not only have you taught her how to be a good mother, but she has also learnt virtues like patience, understanding, compassion and so much more, all while raising you to become the person that you are today.
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6. She dedicated her entire life to you since the moment you were born
There are some things which you never seem to realize unless they are explicitly stated for you. This is one of those things that you realize with a jerk when you are thinking about your mom. Since the moment you were born, you have been the epicentre of her universe, the fulcrum of her care and attention, and the closest thing to her in her life. You were born out of her, and that holds a lot more significance for your mother, than it does for you. Even though she didn’t tell you how much you actually meant to her categorically, you can be rest assured that since the moment you were born, almost every decision and every action of hers was centred around you.
7. It killed her when you moved away
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She might have kissed you on the cheek and wished you the best. She might have asked you to eat your food properly. She might have asked you to call every day and you had instinctively replied that you will without really meaning it. What she probably didn’t tell you was that watching you move out of the house, or to another city, or to another country, killed her. She didn’t want you to go, but she had no choice but to wish you the best knowing that her child was finally leaving her, and that is possibly the worst kind of separation.
8. She hated your wild child phase because she knew the consequences herself
Here is a fun fact that your mom tried very hard to keep from you, so you definitely haven’t heard this from her. Remember the time you got so much hate from her because of your wild hair and your wild piercings and your ripped jeans and your weird phase? It was because she has been through the exact phase, and she knows it for what it really is – a passing phase. That however, doesn’t change the fact that she too was a wild child, the exact same thing she gave you hell for being, for a while.
9. She’s protected you
You might have had a few road bumps on the way in the journey of life. However, the smooth bits were smooth because your mom protected you from more things than you ever cared to realize. She has not only physically protected you when you were young, but she has also prevented you from suffering from emotional setbacks by warning you of the wrong kind of friends, by helping you through heartbreaks, and from protecting you from the world which sucks in general, something you have realized after you have become an independent and reluctant adult.
10. She loves it when you ask for her help, especially as an adult
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Your mum has been the one who has helped you through most of the problems in your life. This is the person who has helped you deal with problems in your studies, as well as problems in life. However, people eventually grow up and start to figure things out and you don’t need your mum as much. Here is something you are not likely to hear your mum admit anytime soon – she absolutely loves it when you ask her for help, whether it is to pack your things or to ask for advice. There is nothing that makes her happier than knowing that her child still needs her.
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11. There was no secret ingredient
That soup/pasta/pancake/meatloaf/whatever else your mom made that you bragged about to all your friends and tried to re-create but failed because you didn’t know the secret ingredient? Yeah, there was no secret ingredient. Mothers are actually magical.
If you haven’t called your mother yet, now feels like a great time to grab the phone and a box of tissues and tell her how much you really love her.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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