I was sitting in the cab on my way from the airport and contemplating dozing off for a bit when I started scrolling through my recent calls. In the entire week I was out of town, I had spoken to my husband just about six times and each of these calls lasted less than 5 min. Our chat history was better but it was just those one or two lines, if we had eaten or slept well, no words of endearment or I love you’s.

In the past, we used to be all over each other but right now it seemed like an eternity had passed between then and now. It had been three years since we were married and seven since we were together but I couldn’t believe this was what had become of it. Between my traveling job and his job which needed him to work nights, our relationship was getting totally screwed up! I realized I had to save my relationship and this is how I decided to go about it…

1. Scheduling dates 

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We both have active google calendars where everything is scheduled in. I made sure I scheduled a date night every week. Our calendars kept us unavailable at those times and made a point that we spend time together.

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2. Participating in each other’s hobbies 

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A lot of our free time was spent in pursuing hobbies as recreation, albeit our individual ones. So I decided to be a part of his hobbies and he mine. I started watching football with him, now I know enough to stump my male colleagues at work 😛 and he got a cycle so we could cycle together. ‘Tis fun!

3. Do chores together 

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Maintaining our home is a helluva task and thankfully he believes in division of labor. We started cleaning our house, doing the regular maintenance tasks together. It took some time because we never were in the “chore” mood at the same time but eventually we fell into sync and that amps up the time we take to talk about our days and share! Even laugh together!

4. Sex it up 

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We weren’t fornicating like rabbits anymore but we started having sex a lot more when we decided that it needn’t be at a particular time. Morning sex turned out to be great because we were fresh without stress and it started out our day great!

5. Weekend travel

My husband loves to drive albeit not in the city so at least one weekend a month we take off from the city. It is almost always usually a weekend and nothing long, but it lets us get away from the regular routine.

6. Gifts are welcome 

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I missed the gifts I used to get when we dated but that year had whirled by without even a customary birthday gift! But then I realized I had not given him anything too, so I started gifting him small random gifts and he picked up on the trend! 😉 It just makes us feel that we are on each other’s mind.

7. Technology is a boon 

We are so connected 24*7 but we didn’t connect with each other. Instead of calling him I started video calling him even for a moment, to see his face in the middle of the day and it brightened my days. Soon, he started enjoying it too. And now, we feel the need to see each other when a goofy thing is happening around us or we simply can’t help but share what just happened to us.

8. One meal together 

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Eating food together helps us bond, so we decided to eat together one meal a day at the least, sometimes it was breakfast, other times dinner. I love cooking and it’s nice to sit down and have him appreciate my cooking ☺

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9. Surprises are good 

He used to surprise me a lot earlier, randomly making me dinner or getting me chocolates or even planning an elaborate birthday party. I started the trend again, with gestures like getting him doughnuts whenever I pass by his office and he loves them!

10. Speak your heart out 

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All these things worked for me because I took the initiative and he responded back. It needs two people to make a relationship work. It also helped that we spoke about how bad things were; he had been thinking about it too but couldn’t articulate it. So go ahead and speak your heart out to the person who matters the most! It will turn out great!

Just keep the love alive!

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