Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Stereotypical preferences aside, while we tend to indulge in the emotional space of the man we love, adult men tend to prefer some emotional distance. It is nothing out of the ordinary and doesn’t need to be made a fuss out of. He doesn’t not love you, he doesn’t not want to be with you, he is just being himself. For all you know, he doesn’t even realize that you are panicking over potential insecurities that may not exist.
If you can relate to the following signs that may manifest in a relationship, he doesn’t know that he may be pushing you away. Be understanding, give him a chance, and communicate – and brush your anxious worries away.
Suggested read: 10 compelling reasons why you never get over the love of your life
1. When he doesn’t share his problems with you
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
He gets home from work and seems more stressed than usual. Something is definitely going on, and you not only ask but conduct a miniature investigation, yet receive no answer you want to hear. You think there is emotional distance between the two of you.
No. There isn’t.
He only wants to deal with his problems himself. Not because he thinks you are incapable of comforting him, but simply because he knows he doesn’t need it. He also doesn’t want to stress you out, while understanding the importance of communicating with you. If he needs it, he won’t hesitate to come up to you and asking you for your attention and counsel.
2. When he doesn’t persuade you to share your problems
Image source: Shutterstock
You could be crying uncontrollably. Or just upset. He has noticed and asked you a couple of times, but when you refuse to share what is on your mind, he decides to leave you alone and solve your worries yourself. This doesn’t mean that there is no emotional connect between the two of you. He is only letting you have your own space rather than interfering with his never-ending questions.
He trusts that you will call upon him when you need him and will confide in him the worries that actually need to be worried about. He thinks you are also someone who likes to solve their own problems, just like he is, and do not need the extra attention and pampering.
3. When he is asking for way too much ‘boy time’ for your liking
Image source: Shutterstock
This is different for each of us. While some of us cannot leave our man alone with the boys even for five hours a week, there are many of us who don’t mind it even if he spends 50 hours a week away with them. But whatever our comfort zone may be, we have to compromise according to what they like in this matter. Of course you are a priority, but his friends are important too.
His boy time is as important to him as your girls’ nights. Think of a life where you are not allowed to meet your girlies and gossip, talk about makeup, and even make fun of your boyfriends. Can you possibly survive that? They may not scream at the sight of each other and not even share long hugs all the time, but they need each other. Trust us, if you let him have the say on this one, things will work out a lot better.
4. When he has no time for you
Image source: Shutterstock
W e do not blame you for thinking that some distance is present if you two are not spending enough time together. But darling, you need to understand that women need much more time in a relationship than a man does. He only needs to know that you belong to him, and are his forever. He is satisfied with that.
Some men understand our need and express their love every now and then, that too flamboyantly. God bless them! But many others have no idea. They think that their commitment is enough for you to know that they love you till kingdom come. This is not emotional abandonment, it is a simple basis of living.
Suggested read: How to use the secret law of attraction for infinite wisdom of love
5. When he talks too much about himself
Image source: Shutterstock
Well, these are the boys who cannot help but tell you everything about themselves. They want you to know every detail because you are THAT important to them. They love you, and are trying to make you a vital part of their life by letting you in on their little secrets, crazy adventures, dark corners of their lives, and the positive memories as well.
So next time you see your man talking only about himself, try to brush away the thought that he is selling himself. Or even that there is an emotional disconnect. Consider the possibility of you being super important to him and listen to him patiently. You might discover a thing or two that you might have never otherwise figured out. On the other hand, try to reciprocate and confide in him as much as possible about yourself as well.
6. When he is excessively concerned about your looks
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Yes, he bought you that dress for that office party that you are accompanying him to. He also tells you if you need a change in your wardrobe or if the purple streaks you are considering are not the best choice. This is not because there is an emotional distance between the two of you and he is trying to make your looks compensate for it.
Don’t you see that he wants his lady love to look prim and proper at all times because he feels proud to take her around? He is going to be just fine when you wear your baggy clothes when you are spending the night in with him or having a quick coffee break at your regular spot. But some important occasions are more important to him when he gets to show you off!
7. When things are not going too well between the sheets
Image source: Shutterstock
It could be you, or it could be him. But he is likely more affected by the fact that your sexual life is slowly going downhill. He wants to talk about it as much as you do, but he is afraid that you might not look at him the same way again.
If you notice a disconnect in bed and outside of the bedroom, then let him figure it out for himself. He only needs time to understand the problem, fix it, and come back much more loving than ever. After all, he is a lot more concerned about pleasuring you in bed than you are about yourself.
8. When he is just doing what you like all the time
Image source: Shutterstock
With all the complaints of being indifferent and not making you a priority, you may also think that there is an emotional distance in the relationship when he is doing everything you like and not really worrying about the things he really wants to do. As ironic as it is, it is a real feeling. You may feel guilty and awkward about supposedly suppressing his interests and return to the age-old problem of probing into the why, when there is no reason for it.
Many men really do not care about the little things. Especially if they know that you like it a certain way, they will happily do it as per your convenience and let you be happy – because they care. It gives them a sense of satisfaction and success in the relationship.
9. When he plays the ‘hot and cold’ partner
Image source: Shutterstock
You could feel this way even after years of being with a man. Sometimes it seems like he belongs to you, and at other times his video games seem to be making better love with him! Or he just seems not to be interested in you at all, to the extent that it hurts. But trust us girl, they are not trying to hurt you.
He might vent to you, but differently from how you might do it. If his manager at work has managed to tick them off, he might feel like screaming and might direct that at you – in that instance, if you cannot accept that kind of behavior, you should communicate it and let him know. If his mother has rambled on and on to him for a long time and he wants some peace and quiet, he might fall silent. But when everything is alright, he seems to be the best human being you have ever come across, right?
Suggested read: 15 ways healthy couples understand each other without words
10. When he discusses his plans with other people first
Image source: Shutterstock
He might be buying a house, changing jobs, or in the middle of any other major life decision, but he is still just contemplating it. He spoke to a friend about it, and you are drowning in grief that he chose to not tell you first. Here is where you need to relax. There are multiple reasons why he would do this.
It could just be that he is trying to understand something and gain perspective before being sure about going ahead. He also doesn’t want to give you false hopes and then not be able to live up to them. This is a fear that they constantly go through, and you will have to understand it so that you do not doubt him unnecessarily.
Featured image source: Shutterstock
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
