So you’re single, and are ready to mingle. There seem to be a slew of girls everywhere you look. But how to approach them, how to make one of them notice you, how to get a girlfriend? This isn’t an easy task, but it’s not hard either. However, you’d want a girlfriend with whom you connect on a deeper level – not just go for her looks. Because let’s be honest here, looks fade with time, it’s the connection – emotional, intellectual one – that will sustain the relationship.
Plus, if your girlfriend is your friend too, then it’s a win-win. But how does one go about getting a girlfriend? If you’re looking for a meaningful relationship with a girl who you connect with on a deeper level, then let’s guide you through the process here. These tips will help you find a girlfriend for sure!
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1. Your willingness to find a girlfriend.
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Yes, yes, you are single and want to find a girlfriend. But that doesn’t necessarily equate to you being ready emotionally. Because relationships, as fun and amazing as they are, require a lot of work and effort to be successful. You need to be able to think past yourself, and focus on another individual. You will be a team, a unit, and be able to fully commit to your relationship.
There are a few things that you need to focus on before declaring that you’re ready to find yourself a girlfriend. Are you really over your ex? Are you sure? Or are you deluding yourself into having gotten over her? Do you have your personal and professional goals aligned? Are you okay to allow another person to enter into your life?
These questions might seem easy and trivial, but they’re anything but. If you don’t know the answers to these, or are still figuring them out, then it might be best if you focused on yourself first, before looking for a girlfriend. No need to drag along someone in your quest to ‘find yourself,’ unless they’re a willing partner.
2. Your expectations from the relationship.
You need to know exactly what you expect from your partner and your relationship. Of course, there might be a handful of girls you think would be a perfect match for you, but they might not think so. Because not everyone you like is going to be a match for you. So be clear on the kind of person you want to get to know and date. You don’t need to outline every little trait that she needs to possess or not, but a general idea should suffice.
What I mean is, you should have a general idea of what kind of person you think would be interesting enough to hold your attention and take things forward with. It’ll be a plus if you both share at least some interests and passions, but it isn’t mandatory. Once you’ve figured out what kind of person you’re on the lookout for, things tend to become easier.
3. Your identity/individuality.
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Do you know who you are? Do you know what you like, dislike, hate, love, loathe, lust for? How much do you know about yourself? To what extent? The more you know about yourself, the more easier it gets to find someone who would gel with you and your personality. Granted that growing up and knowing yourself is a process, and that it might take a whole lifetime to understand yourself and know yourself completely. But unless you try, you won’t know how much that might be.
However, if you don’t know anything at all about yourself, then it would be hard to find someone you connect with. This would open up the possibility of you ending up with the wrong kind of person, which might turn out to be a pretty bad thing. You might end up insecure, unhappy, or worse, broken-hearted. Therefore, it’s imperative that you know yourself and your boundaries so that you find someone who respects you, values you, and admires you for you.
4. Your confidence needs to shine through.
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How confident are you? Because confidence in a guy is attractive to girls. Confidence shows that you know who you are, the kind of person you are, and also that you’re emotionally stable, know what you want, and you’re not afraid to go after them. Confidence is innate for some people, and others might have to work at it to be confident. However, it ain’t rocket science – you do things that make you feel good, and you’ll automatically give out the vibe that you have a positive outlook in life, and that you are confident in everything you do.
However, beware of being arrogant and/or cocky because many men confuse these with exuding confidence. While confidence is attractive, arrogance is a turn off. Never be arrogant, because that just puts women off you like a stinker!
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5. Your willingness to get out there and look for a girlfriend.
If you hole up in your room and bemoan the fact that you don’t have a girlfriend, then whose fault is that? If you want to meet someone who you connect with, you need to be brave enough to get out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there. And the first thing you need to do for that is to leave your home! It might seem like a lot, but it’s a crucial step in the guide on how to find a girlfriend nonetheless.
Yes, you can swipe left and right on Tinder like there’s no tomorrow, but you do have to get out of the house to meet them at some point. And honestly, it’s more fun to meet in person than to chat endlessly on the phone. If Tinder has burnt you, then try traditional avenues like the local swimming pool, library, the grocery store, or even join a book club or a sports club. These are the places where you’ll meet girls who share similar interests with you, and it gives you a common point to bond over.
6. Your flirtation needs to up to date.
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How good of a flirt are you? Flirting is an essential part of the dating ritual, and you need to know at least some basic flirting techniques to make an impression. Subtle touches (that are not sexual), witty banter, obvious body language cues – all of these play an important role in mastering the art of flirting classily, without coming across as a creep.
Subtle flirting keeps a girl interested, keeping her guessing what you have up your sleeve next. That doesn’t mean you need to be someone you’re not, but be casual, feel good about yourself, and make an effort to keep the conversation going – these are all that hold a girl’s attention. They also let her know that you’re comfortable in your skin, and that you are not afraid to be yourself. There’s nothing sexier than that in a man!
7. Your asking her on a date.
If you think you’ve found a girl you’re interested in, then pursue her. If you know you like her and would like to get to know her better, then ask her out on a date. Don’t sweat it, just do it. Walk up to her, or call her (if you have her number), ask her out. Just do it confidently. What’s the least that could happen? She could turn you down – for whatever reason. Just think of it as her loss – that she lost an opportunity to get to know an awesome person like you. It’s easier said than done, but don’t be disheartened – you will find another girl you’re interested in.
Also, when you do successfully ask a girl out on a date, don’t go overboard with the first date. Just keep it simple, be usual, charming self, and have fun. Don’t stress, don’t overthink, don’t overanalyze. Let it happen at its own pace – no hurries. The important thing to keep in mind – be yourself – at all times!
8. Your listening skills need to be put to use.
Now, this is essential when dating any girl. Listening to what she has to say, is the least you can do when she’s agreed to go out with you. Be attentive to what she’s saying, make an effort to understand why something is important to her. You may not get it, but you don’t get to disparage that because it is important to her.
9. Your willingness to accept a NO.
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How do you handle rejection? By stalking her, obsessing over her, pressuring her into going out with you? To give you a chance? If you’re that guy, no girl would like to come near you! Don’t be that guy. This isn’t a movie, it’s real life; and in real life, no girl would appreciate you stalking her or going all creepy obsessive over her. Just take it easy and go with the flow. How you handle rejection and a definite NO shows her what kind of a man you are. Be the kind that women would respect.
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10. Your willingness to commit.
Are you ready to commit to a relationship with this woman? If you’re not, and think that the relationship isn’t going anywhere, then you should cut the cord and let her go. Don’t make false promises you don’t intend to keep, and don’t lead her on with the hopes that it might work out ‘someday.’ That ‘someday’ might never come. Do the honorable thing and let her go. Don’t keep her hooked by giving out mixed signals. Instead, be honest with yourself as well as with her.
‘When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.’ So don’t be shy in going after something or someone you like. Follow these tips on how to get a girlfriend, put yourself out there, and find that girl you want to get to know and date. Good luck!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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