Relationships bring with them huge amounts of happiness, love, joy, and fun. You finally have a partner to share your life with, to be intimate with, to love, to cuddle, and to cry with in times of trouble. With all of this comes a bunch of expectations. Oh wait! We are not telling you that your partner is the one who is expecting too much out of you, but you are too!
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Relationship expectations are something that we’ve all been guilty of before. We all make up these unrealistic fairytales in our minds about how our relationship is going to be, and when the real world doesn’t measure up to it, we tend to resent our partner for it. That is not only wrong, but is also one of the worst things to happen to a potentially strong couple. It is more like, ‘The End’ showed up before the ‘Happily Ever After.’
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That is rather sad isn’t it?
But don’t you worry. We are here to help you out with this issue. We are going to list out the most commonly expected unrealistic expectations in relationships for you to keep in mind. Mind you, these are often considered norms in a relationship, but they are unrealistic.
1. “Why can’t you understand what is on my mind?”
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The right answer to that is, “Babe, I am your lover and not a mind reader by profession.” C’mon people! Give your partner a break. They are not going to know if you had a miserable day at work, if you are not feeling well, or anything else that might have happened during the day. You will have to tell them for them to know. The upper limit of what they can do is to look at your face and understand that you are in a foul mood. But you have to tell them the reason behind you being in that mood.
If your concern with your partner is that they don’t instinctively know everything that’s going on with you, then we are sorry to say that this is a relationship expectation that you need to stop having.
2. “Stop checking other people out already!”
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What to expect in a relationship? You, of course, expect them to not cheat on you and to not get involved with another person. But if you think your partner is not going to check anyone else out, sorry friend, you are in for a break up. Doesn’t matter if you have been dating for 10 days or a decade, but they are going to give a really good-looking person a second look. They may also think about them for a few minutes after that.
It is not reasonable for you to expect anything else out of them. They are human at the end of the day and you need to understand that.
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3. “How can you need space from me?”
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This is one of those relationship expectations that most of us have from our partners. We tend to think that we own the person and there is absolutely no time and space for some alone time and space. You also need some time and space to yourself, or for your friends and family. Maybe not now, but you are sure to need it at some point in time. This doesn’t mean that they love you any less, but it only means that they also have other important things in life.
This expectation sets in when one of the partners is not getting back to the groove of their life after the honeymoon phase of the relationship. The expecting partner does not want things to change and tend to dive deeper into this pit of unrealistic expectation.
4. “How can you dislike my BFF, brother, sister, and whoever?”
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They have fallen in love with you, not your family and friends. One of the reasonable relationship expectations is to expect them to get along perfectly well all the time with your parents and friends. They might not like a certain thing one of your friends is doing, and that is okay, as long it isn’t anything illegal!
If you think that your partner is going to like everyone in your life and that you will like everyone in theirs, then you are hugely mistaken. They will love you, and that is all. It is a bonus if they get along with more that 40% of your people.
5. “Keep texting me. All day.”
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No they won’t, unless it is important or they just have that much free time on their hands. One of the most obnoxious expectations in relationships is that you expect them to keep in touch with you all the time. We have already spoken about space and time, so here is another deal: everyone has work to do.
It is impossible to keep texting or talking over the phone to your partner when they are in the middle of something else. You should respect the time they devote to their work, friends, or family.
Suggested read: Learning to fall in love with breakups
6. “Why would you not have sex with me whenever I want to?”
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We are all humans and have varying moods. Your partner is not going to be interested in hooking up each time you want to and the same is going to happen with you. This doesn’t mean that they are not interested in your body and what it has to offer. But sometimes, one just wants to snuggle up and go to sleep rather than getting down and dirty in bed.
You will have to let go of this expectation and ensure that you keep in mind both your moods when getting physically intimate with your partner.
7. “Why are we fighting? Aren’t we in love?”
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Yes, my friend, you are in love. But you are going to fight. You are both individuals with minds of your own and you will use them just the way you did before you got into this relationship. Difference of opinion, perspective, and miscommunication are normal. If you think you are never going to fight or that your partner is never going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, you will be shocked at how many times it is going to happen.
Make room for the fights and ensure that the two of you come out stronger as a couple. This is not only going to make things smoother in the long run, but is also going to make you two fall for each other again.
8. “If you love me, support everything I do.”
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Your partner definitely loves you. But are they going to be okay with everything you do? No. They are going to have their own opinion on your deeds and while they might not stop you from performing them, they may not always support you 100%. If you are doing something wrong in their eyes, they will be vocal about it.
You need to understand that you are not the only person and experience in their life. They have their own values, perceptions, and ways of understanding things that were established well before you walked into their life.
9. “Why do I need to dress up for a date? It is just you and me anyway.”
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Your partner loves you for being you. They love you even when you look your worst and also when you are dressed up for a black tie event. Trust us, it has nothing to do with your looks. But certain things are meant to be a certain way. When it is a date, you need to be dressed to the occasion and behave a certain way.
Unless your date is in your house with some beer and pizza while watching Netflix in your bed, put your best foot forward.
10. “Do everything for me, but then I am your equal.”
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Relationship expectations know no bounds. If you are taking financial, physical, and emotional help from your partner all the time, and then want them to think that you are at the same level as them on all these grounds, then you are wrong. If they are doing everything for you, then the relationship is inherently unequal. Considering you need all the help, it is most likely that they are carrying the relationship forward. Do not expect them to give you equal credit.
We don’t mean to say that you are not a part of the relationship. We are only saying that they deserve a lot more credit if they are really working hard for it.
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We all want a wonderful and happy relationship. We also hope that we settle down with the person that we are in love with. If that is the objective, you need to throw these relationship expectations out the window now and start to think a little more realistically. If you have found yourself relating to these points and being guilty while reading them, you definitely have a chance to mend your ways.
We are pretty sure that your partner is going to love the change and will fall deeper in love with you.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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